Can you do ‘Too’ much?

[Whatnext2018]

I love Christmas and am keen to make it that really special time for my Dd as I had. We’ve done so many Christmassy things..crafts, baking, days out etc. Tonight I’ll do a Christmassy floor picnic by the tree with Xmas Eve box, carrot and mince pies etc.
This morning I see posts of special ‘North pole’ breakfasts people have done for their kids and now feel I should’ve done that as I see how lovely it looks. We just had a normal breakfast of eggs and toast and a chocolate off the tree 🤷🏻‍♀️
Aibu to feel pressured into making going a bit overboard in order to make it the ‘Perfect’ time?
When I was little we’d make mince pies and leave one out for Santa with a glass of wine and a carrot Rudolph, that was all, I still remember it being the most wonderful time
Is doing too much not that great?

We had waffles and bacon for breakfast and a single chocolate from a box that arrived in the post this morning each, and that's special enough for me.

I just googled North Pole breakfasts and all of the pictures looked pretty vile.

Thanks all 🎅
Completely right by many saying doing too much can take that specialness away. I think because my Dd is so younger, I’ll choose now which things to keep as traditions and which to let go. I was a little dubious about the Xmas Eve box as I never had things like that, but a friend was trying to drum up business by making them after a hard up year and they really are lovely..I’ll see if I think it’s too much commitment. I’ll likely leave the Elf. Next year she’ll be in pre school so will do many crafts we’ve done, there. We’ll choose a couple to do at home and mince pies and chocolate log and likely leave it at that.
The North Pole breakfast seemed to be Santa pancakes, lots of themed foods like penguin biscuits. Also full tablecloth and matching decorations and table cloth etc 🙈it looked very lovely but it a hell of a lot of work, alongside everything else.
I think because I didn’t have anything ‘Different’ this morning then saw that, I thought oh 🤷🏻‍♀️I might just do something simple like pancakes & Nutella in the future and leave it at that.
We’re currently watching The snowman in our pjs and that’s probably my favourite part!

As others have said, it's too much if you're stressed out and not enjoying what you're doing! Christmas Eve breakfast when I was young (I'm 26 so not long ago) was a bowl of cereal because my mum and dad would be busy doing all the tidying and dinner prep for Christmas Day! It definitely hasn't spoiled my Christmas memories.

OP honestly, a lot of these ‘themed’ posts are literally for the social media post and the likes and comments it will generate. I can promise you that children remember the simple, but fun things the most. The Snowman in PJS sounds fabulous with a little one. Also, from an environmental point of view, the landfill generated from all this stuff is a disaster.

I think because of Covid, people are trying to ‘make up’ for the disappointments by buying a whole load more ‘stuff’ for their kids but it isn’t necessary. Enjoy your Christmas!

*My Dd is so young

My 10 year old DD says she is “over excited” and has gone off to my bedroom to sit on my bed and watch TV. We didn’t do polar breakfast, she just hung out with her crazy cuzzies this morning. I find if I over push Xmas excitement she gets sort of stressed out. We’ll have a bath together in a bit and watch a movie later but that’s it! She does have a stocking to hang up too!

Like you OP, I remember Christmas as the most wonderful, magical part of my childhood but I know for certain that on Christmas Eve and Christmas day we had cornflakes for breakfast the same as on every other day of the year!! It sounds as though you're making Christmas special so stop stressing!!

I had a very nice childhood & do you know what i remember, not that 5 star resorts but the time we went camping & it rained & we wee'd in a bucket or the time we missed a ferry & couldn't find accommodation & slept in & out of the car.

Christmas is magical & I remember that magic but we had normal breakfasts etc so for me that magic came from something else.

Yes I do think you can do to much. There is a line in a poem ‘from a chink too wide there comes in no wonder’

Look at selection boxes, you used to get them Christmas morning, and they were so special. Now kids get them all through December - dance club, sports club, Santa visits etc

Is Christmas morning even that special anymore when you are getting special breakfasts Christmas Eve , presents Christmas Eve etc

I adore Christmas but I just find it all too much for kids

Do Christmas for you, not social media.

We do elf on the shelf but he literally moves around shelves & that's it.

No xmas eve box, I give them xmas pjs earlier on in the month. We will watch a film (but it's streamed so wouldn't go in a box) & have hot chocolate. Leave out treat for Santa.

Never heard of a north pole breakfast, mine just had porridge this morning.

We do have a nice breakfast on xmas morning eg a fry up or smoked salmon.

My oldest is nearly 19 so social media was not that big then.

I always did a Christmas type thing every weekend in December with her. So baking or arts and crafts in her pjs. Visit to santa and a drive to look at houses decorated with lights she use to absolutely love that. A movie with hot chocolate. So small things.

I did a Christmas eve box with out the box so new pjs, hot chocolate and a Christmas colouring book with a Christmas movie.

I didnt need social media to prompt me I did things with her I thought she would enjoy.

I agree that there is little point trying to force Christmas cheer if actually you are stressed to the hilt and your child is tired and overwhelmed. So yes it can be to much I think and actually every one can end up not enjoying it.

Pick the things you and they will enjoy and make your own traditions.

Tonight I’ll do a Christmassy floor picnic by the tree with Xmas Eve box, carrot and mince pies etc.

More soft porn from the commercial lifestyle industry.

No need for an online audience, no need to play the voyeur on social media, watching total strangers acting out the script from " festive fucking for families".

Get a private life and live it at home.

Get a private life and live it at home.

This should be the new mantra 😆

Oh and also ignore idiots who try to make you feel bad for doing things with your children you and they enjoy.

The trick is to find the balance that works for you.

My youngest is older than yours but today she's helped me wrap presents, write tags and clean the house listening to Christmas songs. My oldest did the same. So useful and festive

Don’t stress yourself out trying to keep up with social media posts. Just do your own thing.

Honestly loads of these things sound tacky as hell but we are all different! My kids are incredibly lucky to have a mountain of presents tomorrow from us and family. The thought of yet more stuff in the form of a “Christmas Eve box” seems distatesful. We will watch our local church carol service, go for a walk to see the Xmas lights in local houses, and eat some homemade Yule log. Honestly there is a balance and I agree majority is done for social media

@FraughtwithGin

I think parents, these days, totally overestimate what their children will remember. My childhood memories are more to do with feelings, for example, anticipation, excitement etc. rather than actual actions or events.

This. My kids are teens and they remember the most random things from when they were little

If you love doing North Pole breakfasts and Xmas Eve boxes and Elf on the sodding shelf , and you GENUINELY enjoy doing it , then carry right on. But if it becomes one , or two , or three more tedious chores to add on the list whilst you stress out because the elf hasn’t moved for three days and you can’t find the right size slippers for the Xmas Eve box , and you can’t get hold of reindeer food for love nor money , then stop . Just stop . It’s lovely , and all that , but it isn’t necessary , and I promise you , the kids aren’t missing out at all. Quality of life should be counted by your level of happiness , not how many likes you get on Insta.

I love cooking. I tend do go a bit nuts this time of year, and ( partly because I’m stuck at home and can’t do much else ) I have baked and cooked myself silly over the last 3 days . We have Tupperware full of cheese straws , Christmas Cake , Christmas cake bites , scones , cupcakes , many many mince pies , two hams , I could go on. But I do all that because I want to and it’s my relaxation. If it was mandatory , I’d be nothing but resentful about all of it , and it would translate into the food.

Do what you want . But do it because you want to, not because you think you should.

You can definitely do too much in the quest for the “Perfect Christmas”. Perfection is so over-rated. Our most memorable family Christmasses ( is that even a word) were

1. the time my brother and I tried to stay up all night to see Santa - my parents told us years later they couldn’t put the presents out till 5 in the morning!
2. The time my son aged about 5 got up at the crack of dawn and opened everyone’s presents - we had to work out whose present was whose
3. The time my Dad left the turkey out overnight and it was so rank the next morning we had to throw it out- we found a tiny 3 bird roast in the freezer and cooked this for about 12 people with about 100 pigs in blankets!!

Don’t try so hard- sometimes the happy memories are the things you didn’t plan.

Have the best Christmas possible this year all of you x

I know I'm showing my age here and this point isn't fashionable any more but - I do think it is possible to "spoil" children by setting up the expectation they should have everything they want, and everything everybody else has, all the time. (Not talking about you here OP, your baby is far too little!) But I do think there is something to be said for teaching your child that love and parental attention is more important than material things; and allowing your children to go without sometimes, as this helps to develop empathy for those that have no choice in going without. It does a kid no harm to see another child getting something they haven't got on the odd occasion.

When my DS was 3 I decided we needed a family “tradition” of a special Christmas Day Breakfast. I bought Nutella (usually forbidden in our house) and some star-shaped cookie cutters, and made him Nutella toast stars. He screamed his head off because he wanted bacon! (Turns out he has ASD, which we didn’t know then, and the Nutella stars were too much of a surprise)

I’ve found as the children have got older that “family traditions” evolve naturally and can’t really be copied or enforced without putting extra stress on someone or making anyone feel obliged to do something they don’t want to.

If you do that and enjoy it @Whatnext2018 and your family enjoy it then fine.

Just don't do the Facebook/Instagram/ blah de blah - look at me - I'm so perfect - done so much blah blah share share share stuff ..... now that's when you are trying too hard.

@2bazookas Actually, I read about the floor picnic on here a few weeks ago! Plus it’s simple as no washing up and just picky bits, I also think Dd would love it as she loves us all sitting on the carpet. The carrot and mince pie, glass of milk is traditional and from my childhood too, so that’s a definite and very easy. The Xmas Eve box I’m not too sure about and probably won’t next year, I’m sort of learning the things we like and the things that feel ‘Too much’ again, that’s different for everyone

We had none of these things - outings, Christmas eve boxes, baking or even stockings, but Christmas was still a wonderful time.

Do what works for you and make your own traditions.

Would my child enjoy Elf on the Shelf? Probably, but life's too short. Would they be excited if I gave them "snowman" donuts for breakfast? Absolutely, but there's enough sugar in the house already!