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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I selfish to visit Tier 4

54 replies

Whatisthis543 · 23/12/2020 21:11

I understand the rules but am trying to apply some logic. If my DP and I self isolate (see nobody/wash all deliveries) for 14 days before going and then isolate for 14 days upon returning home, are we being selfish?

We would drive down and have no contact with others for 28 days (14 days each side)

What so mumsnetters think?!

OP posts:
Cheesefootballfan · 23/12/2020 21:13

Where are you going??

BlackLambAndGreyFalcoln · 23/12/2020 21:13

I don't think you'd be putting anyone at risk by doing so, but my question would be why do you want to do this?

Covidrelapse · 23/12/2020 21:13

Go for it.
Sounds entirely reasonable as you know.

Original poster
Whatisthis543 · 23/12/2020 21:14

We are both very privileged to be work from home until March. I’m desperate to see my elderly grandfather but wouldn’t want to cause deaths

OP posts:
Tellmelies65 · 23/12/2020 21:14

If you think it would help your mental well being yes.

Frazzled2207 · 23/12/2020 21:15

Is this literally a day trip? Sounds bananas but probably safe. I take it you have a good reason for this.

Cheesefootballfan · 23/12/2020 21:15

If you're both working from home, why do you want to visit tier 4 when you can work in your lower tier area? And I'm afraid that visiting your elderly grandfather during this time would be a total no-no in my books.

Original poster
Whatisthis543 · 23/12/2020 21:17

He is just really old and I worry about him being 93 and never seeing him again. It’s heartbreaking honestly

OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 23/12/2020 21:17

Whilst I understand your logic to me it come down to what is the reason for the visit as you might find its actually already an exclusion.
So providing care, end of life visits etc are allowed. Just going to visit because you want to see your pal Dave isn't.

Reallyhadenough · 23/12/2020 21:46

If you are happy with the precautions you've taken I would say do it! At 93 you need to for both of you! Good luck and merry Christmas

partyatthepalace · 23/12/2020 22:01

If you are really prepared to isolate for 14 days afterwards, then I can’t see any real increase in risk.

maddening · 23/12/2020 22:04

If you want to add in a covid test that would help you be assured that you are not putting anyone at any risk.

weightedpunch · 23/12/2020 22:06

@Whatisthis543

He is just really old and I worry about him being 93 and never seeing him again. It’s heartbreaking honestly
I would do it, you're taking every precaution to make sure it's safe. I've seen so many people post how they wish they'd have visited their relative who had died during this pandemic, I think you'd regret it more if you didn't.
CodenameVillanelle · 23/12/2020 22:08

Definitely do it. Isolate beforehand and after.

OhWhyNot · 23/12/2020 22:11

I think if you keep to your plan before you go to see him then yes you should go

There are expectations when you have to weigh things up and I am sure he will be delighted to see you

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 23/12/2020 22:12

You would not be selfish IMO.

unchienandalusia · 23/12/2020 22:30

Do it. Life's short at the best of times. If my 93 year old nana was still with us I would. But I would be taking the precautions you are (apart from washing shopping). Isolation before abs after.

You can only transmit the virus if you have it.

Suzi888 · 23/12/2020 22:32

I’d go for it too. Don’t you only have to isolate for ten days now...

DrizzleandDamp · 23/12/2020 22:35

I’d go. He may not have many years left

Gooseysgirl · 23/12/2020 22:36

I would do it

Bence69 · 23/12/2020 22:39

Do it xx

ineedaholidaynow · 23/12/2020 22:43

Has he had the first part of the vaccination?

NeedWineNow · 23/12/2020 22:43

You sound as though you are taking sensible precautions so go for it and Merry Christmas.

Lemmeout · 23/12/2020 22:45

In your circumstances yes I would.

autumneve · 23/12/2020 22:58

I'd do it if I see you.
Just keep in mind what your response would be if you were stopped and asked if the nature of your visit (say support bubble?). I know someone who was stopped by police in previous lockdown. There is no proof you would have isolated so the coppers would just be taking your word for it.