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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel embarrassed at dads Christmas gifts?

77 replies

Pushpushpoosh · 23/12/2020 12:22

Exchanged gifts on the doorstep with my dad last night and he had spent ALOT on myself DH and our 2 DCs. I'm really shocked he got us so much and very thoughtful gifts too.
We spent no where near as much on him, still got him things he likes but I feel awful and that it's not enough and I'm cringing now at the inequality of it.

Bit of back story my dad was absent from me been around 11 and was pretty crap before that too always in and out of my life, drink and drugs etc never paid my mum a penny towards child maintenance etc. However he cared for my nan his mum at the end of her life and looked after her so well even with his own illnesses he has changed, doesn't drink or anything anymore and has been the best grandad our DCs could ask for. He's said he admires me as a person as he couldn't forgive what he did but we're building a relationship again.

My mum is saying he's gone all out because he knows he "owes" me for all the missed years but I just feel so guilty. DH is saying we can get him something else if it'll make me feel better but that's just awkward isn't it?
AIBU to feel guilty?

OP posts:
VulvaPerson · 23/12/2020 19:56

Agree with PPs, I don't think many parents expect their kids, even when grown, to spend as much on them as they would.

My dad gets annoyed when me and my siblings have bought him presents in the past, says its waste of money and we should instead spend whatever we would be spending on him, on the grandkids instead! Birthdays and xmas, we now know no to get anything more than a card. Makes me feel a bit bad really, but he is adamant

BonnieDundee · 23/12/2020 20:23

Dont feel guilty. If I can afford it when I'm older I'd love to spoil DC by buying lovely presents. I dont want them spending their money on me. Younger people have so much calls on their money especially if childcare is needed.

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