Friend claiming to be key worker

[lockdownrules]

So my friend and her husband work but aren't key workers. Here in Scotland after Christmas nurseries and schools closed unless key workers.
She says she's been told she can still send child to nursery so the nursery is lying for her and claiming she's a key worker to get place. It's a council nursery.
AIBU to be annoyed my child can't get a place. My husband is a key worker but I'm not but wfh full time with a toddler and my nursery say no place! Obviously I'm just jealous but it's so unfair some can play the system like this

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

@woeismypants - are you joking with this disablist crap?

My dd has ‘mild’ autism - she’s ‘high functioning”. Emotionally her life is a hellish rollercoaster. Days of calm, total meltdowns, crippling, constant fear of ‘getting it wrong’ in social situations, clinical levels of anxiety, daily exhaustion from keeping her ‘mask’ in place. If keeping her at school helped ease this one iota you can be absolutely sure she’d have been there. Walk ONE day in her ‘mild’ shoes and come back to me about how unfair this has all been on your neurotypical children (who incidentally will carry on being neuro typical once this is all over). What a sad, mean hearted, ignorant post.

Oh and as an FYI, during the holidays us lazy, lazy parents of autistic children find childcare like everyone else, what do you think we do?

Annoys me too, you should report them and the nursery if you are sure that's what's going on. My SS and wife both work in clerical roles for the NHS and both wfh during lockdown. But still they call themselves keyworkers and flash their nhs ID cards around at every opportunity to jump queues, get priority shopping slots, you name it,as well as a child in nursery, one in after school club.

@Bahhhhhumbug

Annoys me too, you should report them and the nursery if you are sure that's what's going on. My SS and wife both work in clerical roles for the NHS and both wfh during lockdown. But still they call themselves keyworkers and flash their nhs ID cards around at every opportunity to jump queues, get priority shopping slots, you name it,as well as a child in nursery, one in after school club.

Without clerical staff the NHS would grind to a halt

Urgh. Are we really at the point of denying keyworkers (of whatever denomination and as decided by the govt) the opportunity to do their jobs properly because of jealousy? And, seriously, are people really so desperate that they would rather children with SEN are even further disadvantaged just because their own kids are a bit bored. Back in March this pandemic was bringing people together, people were all trying hard to beat the virus and keep the country functioning and now it's a disgraceful game of trying to get one over on the system and reporting our friends and neighbours for getting on with their lives as best they can.

There's a lot said on MN about how to be happy, how to have a positive outlook, and honestly, stop comparing yourselves to others who have different challenges, stop looking for reasons to hate each other. Focus on what you can change, which is your own situation and your own coping skills. Your life won't get better by bringing others down.

Yes that is really annoying and also as you say that she just told you to annoy you?! Doesn't sound like a great friend to me?

Just remember your friend is the exception not the rule and is actually doing something deceitful and wrong. It's a pain and horrible but you are telling the truth and doing the right thing.

If I were you I'd consider if I wanted to remain friends with someone like that tbh.

@Woeismypants what on earth is wrong with you?
Children with autism were perfectly entitled to attend school last time and come under the definition of vulnerable. You are talking about children who have a lifelong condition here rather than your inconvenience of a few months. You try living with a child with autism and I'd like to see how you'd like it.
Your comments are absolutely appalling and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Banking staff are definitely key workers.

@lockdownrules

She's told me they aren't key workers. The nursery know their occupations She's just friends with the staff and they sorted it! It's called playing the system. I can't get nursery as both parents need to be key workers to qualify. She's proud as punch! Think she told me to annoy me as knew I struggled so much last time. If it only for a week it will be fine. I think it's going to be much longer sadly and not sure I have the strength to do it all again.

She’s not your friend! I’d message her to tell her how you feel about her behaviour and that her rubbing your nose in it is a shitty thing to do.

She's probably exaggerating the situation to look special. The forms will need completed with their employers details filled in, they will check. I've just done mine and I had to apply direct to the council and state my job title and employer.

@VashtaNerada

Do both parents have to be key workers for a place now? That was always the rule, wasn’t it? Keyworker places are for children who cannot be cared for at home because every adult is an active keyworker.

No this was reduced in Scotland to 1 key worker at the end of May and the number of key workers however it is dependent on the local authority and nursery. My son went to nursery from June as my husband is classified as a key worker. Under the list so I am under level 3 but from a public sector role and our works London office has refused to classify us.

It is up to the private nursery or LA to decide so worth speaking to them. Ours do a cascade priority system of 2 parents level 1/2 and vulnerable first, then 1 parent level 1/2 and so on. It helps that our local authority has a big list of key workers!

Crucially there is also a part under vulnerable that if parents feel their or their child's mental health will suffer then they can apply for a place.

We are very lucky in that our nursery has been fantastic! I have no concerns about sending my toddler as he spends between 75-90% of the day outside even in North Scotland in the Winter regardless of the weather which with covid is the best place to be. We just send lots of layers and spares.

I am classed as a key worker (nurse). We didnt send our children in during the first lockdown, mainly because our area was a really high incidence area for COVID. We were able to manage and I would rather those places were given to someone who really, really needed them-regardless of their job.

A bit shocked at people saying it's grand to lie.You are risking the lives of Staff children and their families!
The Scottish nursery I work in closed for Term time yesterday and I can tell you the Head of Centre had a list of 8 categories of eligible KW. This was list all the LA were using as criteria. This included parent and the child's circumstances and therefore did allow for vulnerabilities. ASN was a category for example.

Both parents have to be KW

I'm a key worker I work in insurance, I think there is key workers essential workers and blue light worker's

What on earth do they do during the 6 week holidays? I've often wondered what people do with their kids during the holidays. Surely they don't have to go to a nursery every day for the whole year? Makes you wonder why they have them really.

Those of us who couldnt afford not to have 2 incomes try to take holidays that coincide with school holidays . We use childcare for the other times. You seem to be suggesting that households who need 2 incomes shouldn't have children.

This “key worker” crap should stop. Who ever works and whatever your job is its appreciated.

Ive worked through lockdown in the office (local council) whilst 90% of the staff have been home. I was given a letter to say i was a “key worker” to show police. Utter bollocks.

@lockdownrules

Banking and admin roles. Not key workers.

Administrators can be key workers. I'm a key worker, and so is our departmental administrator due to the industry we work in.

@RaRaRasputinHardBastardToKill

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

@woeismypants - are you joking with this disablist crap?

My dd has ‘mild’ autism - she’s ‘high functioning”. Emotionally her life is a hellish rollercoaster. Days of calm, total meltdowns, crippling, constant fear of ‘getting it wrong’ in social situations, clinical levels of anxiety, daily exhaustion from keeping her ‘mask’ in place. If keeping her at school helped ease this one iota you can be absolutely sure she’d have been there. Walk ONE day in her ‘mild’ shoes and come back to me about how unfair this has all been on your neurotypical children (who incidentally will carry on being neuro typical once this is all over). What a sad, mean hearted, ignorant post.

Oh and as an FYI, during the holidays us lazy, lazy parents of autistic children find childcare like everyone else, what do you think we do?

yes us lazy lazy parents of autistic children sometimes have to work as well. (Like me - also with keyworker status but not one that is 'obviously' so to a randomer looking in from the outside. )

What on earth do they do during the 6 week holidays? I've often wondered what people do with their kids during the holidays. Surely they don't have to go to a nursery every day for the whole year? Makes you wonder why they have them really

This is hilariously ignorant. I'm a lawyer and my bosses and clients would be horrified if I suddenly disappeared for 6 weeks, abandoning all my cases. I have to earn a living to support the children I've created you silly moo. Do you think all people with children should live on benefits? Or that the dad only should work (if so why aren't you telling your husband that he shouldn't have bothered having children since he dares to go to work)? Sexist crap.

I've worked full time since my two were babies. I'm still their favourite person in the world and we make the time we have together count in terms of quality. I certainly don't think there was "no point" in having them. People like you make it harder for our daughters' generation to find true equality. "A job AND a baby? Oh no, dear, get back to the kitchen sink!"

Bank workers working in a branch are definitely key workers, they are all still open.

As I understand it it's up to each LA in Scotland to interpret the rules is are you sure you're clear on what the nursery's criteria is? Where I am you can send your kids in in both parents work full time and cannot do their jobs without childcare. The definition of keyworker is also more flexible this time

Turns out DH is a key worker too - not everyone doing the particular job type is, but he is because of who he works for. So she could well be, but she’s really mean to be gloating about it.

Bikingbear

What on earth do they do during the 6 week holidays? I've often wondered what people do with their kids during the holidays. Surely they don't have to go to a nursery every day for the whole year?

Well a lot of people use a combination of help from grandparents and summer camps/sports camps/holiday clubs. Have a little think about reasons why these options have been limited this year. Anything????

Are they WFH or still going into work? That's the only real factor for me. If they have to work out of home- they need care.

@XiCi

Bikingbear

What on earth do they do during the 6 week holidays? I've often wondered what people do with their kids during the holidays. Surely they don't have to go to a nursery every day for the whole year?

Well a lot of people use a combination of help from grandparents and summer camps/sports camps/holiday clubs. Have a little think about reasons why these options have been limited this year. Anything????

If your going to quote what's already a quote please delete the name. You've made that look like I said that, when actually I was responding to someone else.