to think that 'you are/do' what pays the bills?

[BarryWhiteIsMyBrother]

This is something I've always found odd. When you ask someone what they do and they reply with a job or trade that they never actually made any money from and that they do something completely different instead.

Let me clarify. I know someone who trained as an interior designer for a year, redecorated her place, but works at the post office - has done for over ten years (she did the interior design course around 15 years ago). However if you ask her what she does, she says she's an interior designer. To me, that's inaccurate because her job is not designing interiors but working at the post office.

Another example: this man I know (friend's partner) works in a logistics company, decent job, been there for years. However if you ask him what he does he will tell you he's a musician (he and some friends have a band but have never been paid to play anywhere).

I totally get the freedom of speech and the fact that, at the end of the day, you can say what you like. But surely, from an accuracy point of view, the above is inaccurate? Just because my OH takes pictures of me that doesn't make me a supermodel?

This is interesting. I qualified as a solicitor and left the profession without practicing law for nearly a decade.

When people asked me what I do, I used to say “well, I’m a qualified lawyer but I’m not working right now/I’m working at (non-legal job) right now”. And yes! I was massively insecure about not working as a lawyer.

But I had also spent 5 years studying: a law undergraduate degree, masters and the LPC, plus three years employed full time in law firms working towards my qualification (as a paralegal and a trainee) - so after 8 years working towards it and having my name entered on the Roll of Solicitors, I felt that I had earned the right to call myself a lawyer, but I also didn’t really know how to identify myself without the thing that I identified as for all of my early adult life.

I also figured it’s such an entry level conversational topic, and you get this really only from people you are meeting for the first time who are genuinely trying to engage with you, so it’s easier to give someone a bit more detail that leads onto a next question (“oh, how did you decide to change?”) than shut it down completely (“actually I’m not working at the moment”).

And that’s the crux really isn’t it - it’s someone saying “I really don’t want to talk about my supermarket job, let’s talk about my half-written novel or starring role in amateur theatre instead please, it’s so much more interesting.”

When you think about it, everyone really knows what the questioner is asking, what they are doing with this is they are trying to redirect the conversation politely without outright saying “I work in accounts for a pharmaceutical company but it’s grim and I can’t bear to talk about it, please don’t ask me anything that means we get onto that subject (because people’s eyes glaze over when I do)”.

This is a question (what do you do?) I have always found difficult. For a large portion of my life I did a two day a week office job, I owned a number of houses and was a landlord (and made much, much more money from that than I did from my job), I worked as a volunteer animal rescue worker (and put more hours into that than I did into my paid job, and I was an avid salsa dancer - dancing at least four nights a weeks for nearly 30 years and while not generally paid, did do some shows etc. So what was I? My office job title? Landlord? Animal rescue worker? Dancer? I felt that the two that really defined me, and gave me a feeling of achievement, were the last two - but of course they didn't make me any money. I gave up the paid job, and I don't dance as much any more, but I still find it a hard question to answer.

I once met a woman who said she was on catering. Very posh and pointedly well spoken.
Cheered me up.no end when I found out she was a dinner lady.

@Crystal90567

I once met a woman who said she was on catering. Very posh and pointedly well spoken. Cheered me up.no end when I found out she was a dinner lady.

the only one looking like a twat here is you.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a diner lady, but judgmental people like you explain why some are uncomfortable and bored of being looked down.