Disabled kids,the forgotten Covid victims

[NotEver0]

I barely made it through this year coping with my severely autistic,learning disabled son being at home for the best part of it due to Covid. I struggled desperately without him at his much needed Special needs school and many a time in my darkest darkest moments thought it would be easier if we both just died..
I cried tears of relief when he eventually went back in August and went to bed everyday as soon as he left for school as I was so so exhausted, He barely sleeps and never sits down.He needs 24 hour supervision and self care assistance with everything.
Now it's happening again and I just don't know how to drag my mind and body out of this pit of dark despair that I'm fast hurtling into.I know I'm not alone doing this,its just so many things have been ill thought or given no thought,nothing seems more important than bloody covid.

Our child’s special school have said an EHCP and social worker involvement doesn’t make the children vulnerable and entitled to be at school. They’ve also said school isn’t safe for teachers so until Covid is eradicated or all the teachers have been vaccinated I can’t see my child returning as social distancing and mask wearing is impossible. We don’t have the ‘luxury’ of being able to do any online learning either (Both because none is provided and our child couldn’t partake anyway) so in effect our children are being denied any education.

My son's special school is prioritising the most vulnerable (all children have EHCPs) plus key workers. The most vulnerable will get 2 days a week, all others will not attend.

I am now waiting to hear from mine.
Initially they said they would stay open but with Boris' intervention tonight things might change...

I feel for you all
We’re just waiting. School reopened today but how long for?

Wales here 😬
2 little ones going in - both vulnerable places. Amazed they said yes as home last lockdown 🤯
2 big ones home...😥...both vulnerable. Cannot learn online, but indie school just announced they are closed.
Gutted. I've emailed the LEA asking where their vulnerable school places will be as I cannot have them home.
I was suicidal last summer ☹️

Not a single call or message from my sons school,I'm taking it as itll be shut as all schools are to be as announced by Nicola today.im exhausted, pulled down the tree today in absolute sadness decorations just seem meaningless.

That's Wales shutting down too 😱 schools closed till 18th

Ours has closed as well. Back to worksheets that won't be looked at.

Does anyone know where we stand with EHCP legalities? The rights were suspended up to September but now they have a legal right to their EHCP contents again. How can they receive it at home? Mine sons has endless therapies in.

I expect they will suspend them again. I am sick of people saying if your child has an ehcp they will have a place in school. That is not happening.

@Underhisi

I expect they will suspend them again. I am sick of people saying if your child has an ehcp they will have a place in school. That is not happening.

I know. Easy to say this and then look the other way.

It sounds absolutely horrendous OP. I don't have DC with SN but I have been thinking about parents in your situation and wondering what's happening with them. I remember Riven from years ago posting on here when she'd come to the end of her strength and was in such despair at the lack of support for her DD with complex disabilities that she'd come to the stage of asking the LA to take her child into care. That was in normal times

Gosh I remember those threads, they were heartbreaking.
I read an article a while ago that talked about the reality of SN parenting- it compared the stress level mothers (usually the main carer) experienced as on a par with soldiers in war zones.

As I tell people when I talk about it (which is not often as it tends to be a conversation killer ) 'when you think it can't get any worse, somehow it always does'...

So sorry for what you're going through op. I don't have any experience to offer but I wanted to say I haven't forgotten you or your thread.

And ignore the poster with the empathy bypass. So many nutters on this forum claim to work in schools. I think they are plant by the Daily Express to give teachers and other school staff a bad name.

Sent a group text to my dear friends today stating without any detail my anguish at the prospect of this new lockdown,they were all fine with it,saying it wasnt much change,it just hammered home to me how different my parenting experience is from others in my circle.They weren't being insensitive or mean ,they were just being normal,a normal I dream about.where lockdown would mean lie ins,relaxing cuddles, long walks,movie nights,hot chocolates,crafts and festive fun with the kids.Forgive me I'm feeling very sorry for myself tonight, very emotional.today has been a bad day,tomorrow I will be that soldier in my own war fighting and surviving.
Much love.

So sorry @NotEver0. You see on here posters assuring others that if children have an EHCP they will be in school and it just isn't true. Our local group are posting that the three special schools have already emailed to say they are closed to all pupils again and like last time there will be no provision made no doubt.

@NotEver0 My heart goes out to you. Reading these posts is filling me with rage and also in some strange way making me feel a little better that I’m not alone and others get what I’m having to deal with. It’s not their fault but listening to people moan how hard it is to deal with little Jonny not wanting to do his times tables when I’m trying to stop my child from literally eating the house whilst homeschooling the other kids is slightly trying.

DS went in to his special secondary today. I was his escort as his normal one is off poorly, so I got to see the look of joy on his face when his favourite class TA appeared and despite being limited in his speech, he initiated the first hello and said how happy he was to see her
His report from his teacher was great about him joining in with things enthusiastically and eager to communicate with others
Had the notification before that his special school is closed, he has autism/SLD and SPD, a social worker and an EHCP, but as last lock down in March, he’s not classed vulnerable enough to be in school until it reopens to the all of the children
Heartbroken for him and can feel the anxiety rising inside thinking of the next 6 weeks

The thing is Boris Johnson thinks it's the parents that are not sending our kids in 🤷‍♀️he said in the big lockdown that he was shocked at the low uptake of SEN kids attending 😳
We are not given the bloody option Boris

@NotEver0

Sent a group text to my dear friends today stating without any detail my anguish at the prospect of this new lockdown,they were all fine with it,saying it wasnt much change,it just hammered home to me how different my parenting experience is from others in my circle.They weren't being insensitive or mean ,they were just being normal,a normal I dream about.where lockdown would mean lie ins,relaxing cuddles, long walks,movie nights,hot chocolates,crafts and festive fun with the kids.Forgive me I'm feeling very sorry for myself tonight, very emotional.today has been a bad day,tomorrow I will be that soldier in my own war fighting and surviving. Much love.

You are not alone in the fight NotEver. You have everyone here beside you. I can’t offer any practical help but please know that you will find a lot of support here on Mumsnet. We are here to hol each other up as much as we can. Take care of yourself 🌻

@PhoebeSnow xx,thank you.

Bump

Just popping back in (and ignoring the drama llama).

I was very very disappointed that Boris left that announcement till so late last night. Had to explain to DD before she went to bed that she might not be able to go today, which then transformed into an epic meltdown!

To give credit to the SLT at DDs school, they were messaging still at 11pm even when the parent/teacher services crashed due to the overwhelming usage.

I had a look at the vulnerable criteria that the government have published and explained to school that DD has three of the points that make her a vulnerable child so she will be taking a place at school and has gone in this morning. We are lucky in that she can do a COVID test and we have offered to do one weekly.

I'm so glad she's gone in but we are taking it day by day, DH is a key worker as well this time round and I've got horrendous Sciatica, so much so that I have had to ask DH to put my socks on and do my boots up 🙄....Not that I get time to rest as I've got rearrange a load of appointments, get EHCP paperwork prepared, sort out a grant and postpone my uni course.

It might be worth contacting the SEND team at your local LAs to see what they advise regarding places for vulnerable children?

@beldaran that’s really good news that your DD is able to go to school. Would you mind posting a link to the government criteria for a vulnerable child please?

Hi Mrsfrumble,

This is the current criteria:

Vulnerable children and young people
Vulnerable children and young people include those who:
• are assessed as being in need under section 17 of the Children Act 1989, including children and young people who have a child in need plan, a child protection plan or who are a looked-after child
• have an education, health and care (EHC) plan
• have been identified as otherwise vulnerable by educational providers or local authorities (including children’s social care services), and who could therefore benefit from continued full-time attendance, this might include:
• children and young people on the edge of receiving support from children’s social care services or in the process of being referred to children’s services
• adopted children or children on a special guardianship order
• those at risk of becoming NEET (‘not in employment, education or training’)
• those living in temporary accommodation
• those who are young carers
• those who may have difficulty engaging with remote education at home (for example due to a lack of devices or quiet space to study)
• care leavers
• others at the provider and local authority’s discretion including pupils and students who need to attend to receive support or manage risks to their mental health

Full guidance here :

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-maintaining-educational-provision/guidance-for-schools-colleges-and-local-authorities-on-maintaining-educational-provision

With contingency framework guidance here:

www.gov.uk/government/publications/guidance-for-full-opening-special-schools-and-other-specialist-settings/guidance-for-full-opening-special-schools-and-other-specialist-settings

HTH

Ds has gone in. The school have said all the children are vulnerable and can attend. The staff are all masked up and will be attempting to covid test the older ones today.