Who is being unreasonable about Christmas?

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DH’s parents are coming to us Christmas Day. DH wants me to stay home with DS 7 and DD 5 and not do anything or see anyone until after his parents have been. I think he’s being unreasonable to expect us to do this. I understand his concerns but the I don’t think that one event should trump the rest of the holidays. We’re in tier 2. Who is being unreasonable?

Are they particularly vulnerable?

What sort of things would it stop you doing?

What would you like to do? Aren’t there things you can do that would be safe anyway? Then everyone’s happy.

I’d think you’re a bit late to start in effect isolating anyway.

I'm not sure what your problem is. Are you wanting to go somewhere else on Christmas Day?

We've isolated for 2 weeks so we can see DHs parents at Christmas. There's nothing worth doing enough that I'd risk killing his parents.

What else were you going to do?

Who would you be seeing and where?

What time are they coming? If it's late on could it be moved to earlier so you have time to do stuff afterwards?

Bit late now really given that it's the 22nd and presumably you've been out and about up til now?

We've isolated for my folks but were able to do it for a couple of weeks

Hard to know without knowing what you had planned to do?
Surely you can still do walks etc and be outside but just not mix with people

It does depend on what you were planning to do, but I doubt he's being unreasonable.

We are doing what your DH is asking, as are other families we know. Surely it’s just expected to do what you can to keep older relatives as safe as possible?

We planned 7 days of nothing but a supermarket trip to see in laws. But now we can’t go as they’re too far. He isn’t being unreasonable. It’s 2 days.

It was also recommended in one of the press conferences

Is he doing the same or does he expect to go out and about with only you and DC at home ?

I would be saying that I still need to give us some fresh air so we will be going for a walk everyday and I will try and choose somewhere quiet to walk.

It’s stated in the guidance you should isolate from 20th December. Personally I would do it, wouldn’t want to live with the thought of passing covid onto my mum snd dad

Is he planning to stay at home too ?

Like others I'm not sure what you would otherwise be doing? Local park? Walk around the houses to see the Christmas lights? Or are we talking playdates round friends houses? Parties and lots of inside entertainment things?

Do you actually not really want them to visit?

Or resent being told what to to do when it's only in-laws?

What is there to do at the moment, with so many restrictions, that's so necessary?

What is he doing in the meantime? Is he staying home too? Has his parents been isolating also? If not, what's the point?

What would your plans be otherwise? I wouldn't do it because I have activities booked. But if I didn't have activities booked and the plan was to isolate as a family, I would don't think its unreasonable.

So they’re in their early 80’s but fairly fit. They have been out and about shopping etc. DH is much more concerned for them than they are themselves. I work in a very public job and both the children were at school Friday so we’ve all been around lots of people. The main two things that we’ve argued over are a walk with my Dsis and her family. This is due to one of her DD’s having to isolate due to a positive case. She was going to be staying home. The second was a last minute booking to a socially distanced panto tomorrow.

He will be at work

So you've invited elderly relatives for Christmas Day, you've organised a walk with another relative and you've arranged a panto too? A bit ambitious given the current climate?
Think you need to rethink.

Ime he is being unreasonable to question your judgement...
Presumably he trusts you with your /his dc?