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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if there are people on here who've never cooked a Christmas dinner before?

257 replies

FortunesFave · 22/12/2020 08:57

And how old are you? I was really surprised when someone I know on FB posted that they were so sad not to be travelling to their parents with their family this year and that she's never cooked a Christmas dinner in her life.

She's 50!

Her parents are in their late 70s and early 80s!

Do these people not feel guilty or weird about going home like this every year?

I mean...going home is lovely...but surely you could muck in with the cooking if your parents are that elderly?

OP posts:
Aahotep · 22/12/2020 11:04

43 and never even cooked a roast.
Sunday and Christmas day are my day off cooking and DH does it.
No interest in trying though I'm sure I could if I had to.

Junkmail · 22/12/2020 11:05

I’m 31 and I’ve never done it and never will. I don’t even like traditional Christmas food and neither does my husband. We don’t typically spend Christmas Day with family. Usually we see them on Boxing Day so we dodge the meal every year which is fine by me.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/12/2020 11:06

@Hairobsessed123

Wow I can’t believe all of you that have never done a roast have u got children ? I cooked my first roast dinner aged 19 ! 44 now and my kids love a good roast on a Sunday specially all throu lockdown when I had them all at home !!
No, I haven't got children. Even if I did, is roasted food compulsory? I presume you didn't have children old enough to appreciate it either when you were 19 so did you just cook it because you liked it or did your parents want you to help out?
namechangetheworld · 22/12/2020 11:09

I'm 35, and having to cook it myself for the first time this year. My DM is so controlling in the kitchen that I went to Uni not even knowing how to boil an egg. She definitely wouldn't have allowed anybody to help with Christmas dinner.

gabsdot45 · 22/12/2020 11:10

My husband is 48 and he can't cook anything let alone a Christmas dinner.
It's not that unusual.

movingonup20 · 22/12/2020 11:12

I'm finding this hilarious! I cooked my first Christmas dinner aged 11 when dm came down with flu Christmas Eve (late evening) and my father didn't cancel the guests coming (12 in total at the table). Admittedly I had cooked a roast prior but I was overwhelmed and all he offered to do was peel spuds. Thanks dad for the baptism of fireHmm.

It's really not difficult, just work out the cooking timings of each element (and don't do too many) then if needed write it down. Remember to get the meat out the oven 30-45 mins before eating time when working out the times (freeing oven for pigs in blankets, veggie options and Yorkshire puds etc. My challenge is I've moved in with my dp and we only have a normal single oven and I had a range cooker before, luckily only 3 people to eat and no veggies

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 22/12/2020 11:14

It's really not difficult

No its not

But it would be a mistake to think that people aren’t cooking a roast because they find it too difficult

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 22/12/2020 11:15

I should say most people 😀

Iwasonceabrownie · 22/12/2020 11:15

I'm also amazed at the amount of people that have never cooked a Christmas dinner or even a roast. I've been cooking them since I was 21 when I got married, over 50 years ago.

Redglitter · 22/12/2020 11:18

don't you all want to try? To see what yours is like

Nope have absolutely no interest in trying or seeing how it turns out.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 22/12/2020 11:20

When my children were younger i told a friend that we didnt do roast dinner (we did when they got older...it was like jack spratt and his wife in our house when they were little and faced with a roast)

Honestly...she pretty much thought it was tantamount to child abuse, she was horrified

FortunesFave · 22/12/2020 11:21

Mind you...I'm saying all this and being slightly judgy when in fact, I haven't cooked one since we moved to Australia 5 years ago...I did every year in England but here, it's just too hot...people eat fish and shellfish and pavolva and cherries etc....salads and all that. Summer food is Christmas food here.

But I do big roasts in winter and always made Christmas turkey etc in England.

I'm going to get the cherries tomorrow...and the other fruits and cheeses etc.

I'm excited now!

OP posts:
Wingingitmumia · 22/12/2020 11:24

I’m 39, my mum insists on cooking every year and doesn’t want any help. Cooking my own for the first time this year. She’s upset that we won’t be going, but I’m actually really looking forward to it.

NotOfThisWorld · 22/12/2020 11:25

I now do Christmas dinner every year but I don't think it's crazy not to. Family comes to us now (in normal years anyway) just because we live most centrally but MiL would actually much prefer it if she got to host. She loves hosting and cooking Christmas dinner so if we came to her no way would I be able to get anywhere near the kitchen if I tried, I'd probably just buy the alcohol and do the washing up.

wendz86 · 22/12/2020 11:25

I'm 34. I've hosted and helped cook but never done the whole thing alone before.

BoredofBoris · 22/12/2020 11:26

I’m a good cook. I enjoy it and see it as my creative outlet. DH is a good cook too and we are a very harmonious team in the kitchen.

My mother hates cooking. She’s very creative but likes to paint and draw and she sees cooking as drudgery and a tool of oppression of the patriarchy. My father has never ever helped her cook and loathes the washing up.

Despite this it took me five years to wrest control of Christmas dinner from my parents. It’s not always about selfish children not wanting to help!

FastFood · 22/12/2020 11:27

Thing is, quite often, when you don't have children, you just don't host Christmas dinner.
Your job is to travel wherever Christmas dinner is.

So here I am, 41, never cooked a xmas roast and I don't see that changing.

Tierrasfuente · 22/12/2020 11:27

I am in my forties. I have cooked christmas dinner a couple of times when I had to host DH's family. It wasn't as big a deal as I imagined.

When I go to my mum's she doesn't want help in the kitchen other than carting plates through. I don't feel guilty at all because she enjoys having us all over, as I will when I am in my seventies.

JustAnotherUserinParadise · 22/12/2020 11:28

I'm 30 and haven't!
For a big family Christmas at my parents I usually do something like peel veg, then my dad and I tidy up and clean the whole kitchen afterwards.
We both seem to have the talent of being in the way wherever we are, so usually get kicked out of the kitchen early on!

HilaryBriss · 22/12/2020 11:29

Nope, I'm 52 and have always gone to my parents until my dad passed away and since then have been out for Christmas lunch every year.

Tell a lie, I did it once when we didn't book the pub early enough, I forgot the pigs in blankets and stuffing! I've obviously got to do it this year to but it is all pre-prepared veg that just needs bunging in the oven.

I don't cook roasts either (don't like them) and have never cooked a joint of beef/pork/lamb in my life and quite honestly wouldn't know where to start.

Thimbleberries · 22/12/2020 11:32

Me. early 50s ,single. Never even do a roast dinner for myself. Have tried a couple of times, but have to look up what to do and how each time as it's so long in between, so I don't have a method/recipe that is ingrained. Visit my parents or sister most years as they have big houses, children, etc. I will help with whatever prep is required or requested, but it's usually the baking side of things, or the clearing up.

AlexaShutUp · 22/12/2020 11:32

I'm also amazed at the amount of people that have never cooked a Christmas dinner or even a roast. I've been cooking them since I was 21 when I got married, over 50 years ago.

But why is it so difficult to understand that not everyone eats that type of food. I mean, I'll have the veggie bits of a roast dinner at my mum and dads house, but a roast dinner would never be my meal of choice, so why on earth would I attempt to cook one?

Maybe it's different if you eat meat. I went veggie at 14 so wouldn't have a clue what to do with a piece of flesh or a dead bird. It just isn't in my repertoire.

AlrightTreacle · 22/12/2020 11:39

I cooked my first full Christmas dinner for 8 people last year, at 31. I've helped with prepping veg before etc; my brother usually is a control freak in the kitchen at Christmas and insists on doing most of it himself, and then complains about it Hmm. So last year I put my foot down and insisted on doing the cooking, and it was so much better, no sulky man child being passive aggressive and ruining the atmosphere. I cook a fair few roasts in the autumn/winter, so it was fine, just did a few more sides really.

GirlCalledJames · 22/12/2020 11:40

I'm sure that there are tons of men who have never cooked a Christmas dinner before, and most people wouldn't bat an eyelid at that, so why the raised eyebrows when it's a woman?

Exactly right. My grandad nearly reached 100 without cooking one. Bet you wouldn’t have asked him why not, though.
I have cooked several, though with duck as I don’t like turkey.
I’m sure most people on here will have cooked poultry and vegetables at some time in their lives, so they can probably imagine what their Christmas dinner might taste like.
My parents would be happy to still cook. They are vital and active and as they’re retired have much more time than I do to plan and buy, so I hardly think I’d be taking advantage if I did go and visit.

TheGoogleMum · 22/12/2020 11:41

Technically I havent (I'm in my 30s). We've spent Christmas day in our own home (as in not one of our parents) twice and those times my husband made it. To be honest he's a better cook! This year I think he'll be making it again, I'll offer to help but watching DD will probably be the most useful thing I could do really

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