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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if there are people on here who've never cooked a Christmas dinner before?

257 replies

FortunesFave · 22/12/2020 08:57

And how old are you? I was really surprised when someone I know on FB posted that they were so sad not to be travelling to their parents with their family this year and that she's never cooked a Christmas dinner in her life.

She's 50!

Her parents are in their late 70s and early 80s!

Do these people not feel guilty or weird about going home like this every year?

I mean...going home is lovely...but surely you could muck in with the cooking if your parents are that elderly?

OP posts:
dottiedodah · 22/12/2020 10:33

Wow! quite envious here TBH! Been sharing with DM since my 30s (every other year sort of thing) She is no longer with us sadly .However I have been cooking it for the last 10 years on my own .(DH peels veggies and washes up).My DD friend is a chef so has cooked for the last few years !

OrigamiOwl · 22/12/2020 10:36

@Bettyboop82

Yep! 38 here! DM and MIL fight over who’s turn it is to cook it every year. I’d actually love to cook one and host but they are booth weirdly set in their ways
I'm very similar... I'm 35 and would like to host, but PIL won't drive on Christmas day. Both sets of mums want to cook Christmas their way and strongly refute any offers of help. It's not worth the row.
caperplips · 22/12/2020 10:36

I too am surprised by the amount of people who have never cooked a Christmas dinner! I've been cooking it for 20 years now with just 1 or 2 exceptions where we have been 1 year in my parents & 1 year in my siblings. All other years we've hosted & I've cooked it all. This year its just us & I'm still cooking the full dinner just in smaller quantities!

StickTheKettleOnAlice · 22/12/2020 10:37

Well I've been cooking Christmas dinner since I was 19; both parents still alive. DM felt she had done it enough and hated it when she did do it. I'm now in my 30's and have a family of my own and I'm sure will me cooking it for years to come too. I don't spent a good few years having my divorced parents over too who used to alternate years and om occasion both of them came Shock. So jealous of all those parents who love to cook for their adult children!

StickTheKettleOnAlice · 22/12/2020 10:38

be*

Strawberrypancakes · 22/12/2020 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lazylinguist · 22/12/2020 10:41

I think it's quite odd that some people seem to assume that all parents of adult children are wearily making Christmas dinner every year, wishing their 'lazy' offspring would finally take over. Lots probably love doing it.

Jeremyironseverything · 22/12/2020 10:43

I was about 35 when I did one, then didn't do another one till about 45.

ChristmasJumpers · 22/12/2020 10:44

29 and never have. I have "helped out" in the kitchen of course and have even cooked parts of the dinner and taken it round with me to my mum but never cooked a full Christmas dinner by myself

HarryLimeFoxtrot · 22/12/2020 10:45

Wow I can’t believe all of you that have never done a roast have u got children ?

Yes. But I’ve also got DH. Cooking is one of his chores. I’ve been vegetarian for almost 30 years - why would I ever have done a roast? It’s not a skill I’m ever likely to need.

StrawberrySquash · 22/12/2020 10:46

I'm 40. No kids. Always gone home to parents' until this year - much larger house than my flat. I'm a decent cook and do plenty to help with the meal, but I've never been the one in charge because...family politics.

Wtfdidwedo · 22/12/2020 10:47

I don't cook, my mother is 60 and also doesn't, and certainly not a roast dinner! She's only just managed to make pasta. My nan always cooks Christmas dinner for our family. My husband does all the usual cooking in my house but we don't really eat roasts, and on the rare occasion we do it's pretty much chicken, potatoes and carrots as noone likes any other veg in this house!

RaininSummer · 22/12/2020 10:48

I didn't get to do Christmas until I was around 55 apart from one year when my parents were moving so came to me. This wasn't because I didn't want to or didn't invite them though. My mum wouldn't let it go until she got to around 77 and now she won't come out of the house on Christmas day! It is however, just a large roast dinner with dessert do nothing to angst about.

Mistigri · 22/12/2020 10:48

I'm 56. I've never cooked a full Christmas dinner and won't be doing so this year. I buy posh ready prepared food and bung it in the oven. I work long hours, I have a week off and I don't intend to spend my time off in a hot kitchen.

With a bit of luck I will never have to cook a turkey in my life.

mummy2oli · 22/12/2020 10:51

36 and never. I’m hosting for first year this year, but the condition of my parents coming was they still cook it. So Christmas dinner is at mine but I’m just in charge of buying it, and the dishes
It’s my parents favourite day of the year and they love doing it, I’m happy to not take that away from them.

minipie · 22/12/2020 10:51

We are 40 and never hosted Christmas as the grandparents enjoy doing it, plus until recently we’ve had tiny and exhausting DC and/or building work going on.

Done plenty of roasts though so I’m sure we can manage.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/12/2020 10:52

I'm 43 and have never cooked Christmas dinner. My parents are late 60s and early 70s and to date have been happy to do it themselves.
I won't see them this year and I do think my DF might not be up to it next year so we'll see if DM wants to do it.
I'll be on my own on Christmas day this year and will eat whatever I feel like just like any other day.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/12/2020 10:54

@lazylinguist

I think it's quite odd that some people seem to assume that all parents of adult children are wearily making Christmas dinner every year, wishing their 'lazy' offspring would finally take over. Lots probably love doing it.
Yes, I think most 'early old age' parents love having the family together and cooking for everyone. My gm definitely did until she reached the age where she couldn't any more and then would have wished she could.

Nobody is forced to do it are they!

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 22/12/2020 10:57

Cooked my first 'full' Christmas lunch at 21 when I was living with my boyfriend (now DH) in a tiny cottage with a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. Neither of us had any meaningful amount of time off to go and visit family. I've done it every year, bar two, since then. I'm now 42.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/12/2020 10:57

".don't you all want to try? "

No. I don't like cooking and if I wanted to cook more, I wouldn't start with a roast. I suppose I like Christmas dinner because it's traditional, but it wouldn't otherwise be my favourite food.

TheSoapyFrog · 22/12/2020 10:57

I cooked my first one last year at the age of 37. My mum, much likes me, does not like other people "interfering" in the kitchen. We do the clean up afterwards though.

AlexaShutUp · 22/12/2020 10:58

I'm late forties and have never cooked a traditional Christmas dinner before, mainly because I am vegetarian and we don't really do roast dinners. However, I have made vegetarian alternatives when visiting my parents' house.

I don't think my older sister (50) has ever cooked a Christmas dinner. My dad insists on cooking the meat version when we are all at my parents' house and her dh cooks it when they're at home.

I'm sure that there are tons of men who have never cooked a Christmas dinner before, and most people wouldn't bat an eyelid at that, so why the raised eyebrows when it's a woman?

Heyahun · 22/12/2020 10:58

I’ve never done it - I’m 32! Likely never will tbh 😂 usually at my parents - this year not going home obviously - husband is doing the cooking and we are not doing a traditional Christmas dinner - zero interest in it!

My mum is 62 and pretty sure she has never cooked the Christmas dinner either - my dad does it

squeekums · 22/12/2020 11:00

don't you all want to try? To see what yours is like
Nope
I hate cooking
Don't wanna host a big dinner of any kind.
I buy a roast chook already cooked when I want roast or DP does a great one.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 22/12/2020 11:03

My dad will be round at Christmas

He will be bringing lamb which he will have already cooked...I don’t think he trusts us