To want my baby to STOP TOUCHING ME

[FTEngineerM]

Argh!! This sounds awful but I can’t help it.

All day everyday it’s scratching, poking, sticky little fingers squeezing my boobs. Playing with my nips as he’s feeding. Pulling my hair. Screaming me.

DC is 6m and tonight I can’t bear him touching me, I feel like a shit mother for even feeling like this.

When my baby pulls my hair it makes me angry sometimes and I have to remind myself he isn’t trying to hurt me. Hope you’re ok

Even the best mums I know have been honest and admitted this. The main thing is to acknowledge it and get a break whatever way you can.

I feel you! There was a rule in our house that no one was allowed to touch mummy's face as they just seemed to ALWAYS be touching my face! Poking it or pulling it or squeezing it. I swear I was afraid to move 🤣 I still love them and they get loads of love and cuddles but just get off my bloody face 😳

Not read all the responses but my little girl was like this, the pinching; the scratching the pulling nearly drove me INSANE. She’d do it when feeding and then for as long as it would take for her to fall asleep which would sometimes be up to an hour. I nearly lost my mind.

It eventually calmed down a bit as she got older and then I weaned her at 21 months and it reduced a lot more. She’s nearly 2 now and interestingly she will still touch the skin on my chest and neck if she’s cuddling me and trying to go to sleep but she doesn’t do it to my DH.

This is totally normal. I have a very touchy 6yo and a breastfeeding toddler and I just want everyone to fuck off multiple times a day.
Just for 5 minutes to not want to touch me, hug me, stare at me, watch me go for a shit ffs
I does get better. Eldest is at school and then I only have one watching me shit.

Don't get me started on the husband. At least he doesn't watch me poo.
He's not grabby at all but even he wants attention when I finally get a moment to myself. I honestly feel enraged when everyone wants something all at the same time.

I hope it gets better for you soon OP.

I remember the all touched out feeling. Didn't get it with Ds1 but Ds2 needed to be continually stroking my arm and I have a strong, visceral reaction to having my arms touched.

I remember being head butted in the nose by my energetic first baby at 8 months.

He was always bouncing and wiggling.

He didn't break my nose but it was so painful.
I sobbed my heart out, feeling very sorry for myself.
I had a fine purple bruise too.
Husband did the whole night as I really needed some physical space from everyone!
Totally normal.

@OoohTheStatsDontLie that sounds awful, I can gladly say it hasn’t reached the point I’m having nightmares about strangers groping me, that sounds truly hideous hope that’s over now.

@DimidDavilby it’s usually when he’s feeding but I put it down to him being very close proximity to me so where as if we’re playing or what ever he can grab me but it’s not so focused. I will look into that, I really hope there’s a way to improve it.

Thanks everyone, I’m glad to hear it gets better.. at some point.

You're not a shit mother just feeling touched out. Don't think we're designed to tolerate being touched 24/7! I felt like this so many times so please don't feel like you're the only one x

Also I found it helpful to give my little boy a cuddly monkey to fiddle with instead of me. Jellycat do a monkey with long arms and legs which did the trick. he now at 16 months can't sleep without him but it was worth it!

I skim read to check and people have already said what I was going to say: magnesium deficiency can be a cause; your imminent period (hormones) can also be a cause. Nursing aversion.

Oh god no you are completely normal and not shit at all!! Feeling "touched out" is awful. It's so much worse when you're tired

My baby is the same age OP. Sometimes it's like he's trying to eat me or claw his way back in the womb, he really doesn't leave me alone.
He allllways wants me. If I give him to DH I have to leave the room because he'll just stare at me and want me back.
I do find it cute but my god it's exhausting!

Yep; been there, ran away. Quite literally; with my second I would hand her over to DH once she was asleep and walked out the house for some blissful alone-time.

It will get better (well, it goes from carrying them everywhere to running after them)and in the meantime I recommend a fiddle necklace. You can get some lovely ones from Etsy that are designed specifically for babies to play with, safely.

Nah totally normal. When DH got home from work I used to take a small wine and go sit in the fires escape stairwell... DH thought I was nuts. But I just NEEDED 20 minutes with no one trying to touch me or “talk” to me Even now (4 yrs) DD is very cuddle & i occasionally am have to demand EVERYONE STOPS TOUCHING MUMMY for 5 minutes!

Not at all. Its why I began weaning onto a bottle. I just couldnt take it anymore. I drop bf to morning and evening - babies were sleepy and less faffy

Totally normal, well for me, sometimes you’re just flaming well sick of getting smacked in the face/headbutted, no matter if it’s the most wonderful thing in the world doing the smacking!

So so so normal. Sometimes you just hit the breaking point and go "UGH GET OFF ME I NEED MY BODY BACK" and that is when dad needs to tag in. I found it was worse when I was tired.

This is a practically universal experience for mums of small DC. MIL has told me of when hers were young and FIL would come home from work wanting a cuddle and kiss and she would be all "ugh no go away". She still remembers the feeling clearly and DH is 40

Ps. I once lost it when BFing DC1 in the middle of the night and he shoved his fingers in my mouth AGAIN and I bit them. Not my finest moment, but I just. Could. Not. Take it. Any more.

I still get DS2 climbing into my lap when I'm on the toilet and DS1 (who is 6 FFS) sidling up to me to wrap himself around me like an octopus, but I can usually manage the feeling now as it's less constant!

Being touched out. I used to hide in the loo just so no one was touching me for 10 minutes once she got home.

Mine as 3 and 6 and still like to be touching me at every chance. If I sit on the couch both sit pressed against me or in my lap.
It makes DH laugh everytime as they don’t do it to him.
It’s like a human puppy pile.

But at least now they are big enough to be told to give me space once I need it.

Animal eat their babies just so they stop bloody touching or talking to them (plus a free feed)

If baby is squeezing/pinching/ pulling your hair, it’s ok to gently stop them, by taking their hand away and pulling a toy etc in their hand instead if necessary (you probably do this anyway, but it amazes me the amount of my friends who think that if they don’t just put up with it then they are a bad mum).

I don't have much advice, others have given good suggestions, but just wanted to say that this is totally normal and you are not a shit mother. Loads of mums feel this way. I used to sometimes bite down on something while I was breastfeeding because my daughter was causing me so much pain. And yes, absolutely stop them! Move their hand away, protect any scabs you have with your own hand etc. You don't need to sit there and be a scratching post or a stress ball.

I had to that feeling too- at first it was mild annoyance, but it soon built to feeling like I was being molested every time my baby breastfed - a pure anxiety, panic and disgust. I stopped breastfeeding shortly after.

Strangely, I didn’t get that feeling with my second. In hindsight I think my husband was a lot more hands on with my second so he wasn’t completely attached to me 24/7 like my first was.

I got in the shower once for much needed space and my DH tried to get in with me! WTH?! Arrrgh I was livid!

The nip pulling while feeding used to really give me the ick too! I ended up using a muslin to cover my other breast and gave my baby a small cuddly toy to hold.

It does get better I promise!