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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to ban child from my bedroom

62 replies

Harryfrog12 · 21/12/2020 16:29

My one sanctuary is destroyed everyday by den building, tens of teddies, just general crap. Shes only 4 but would i be unreasonable to lock her out. Sick of tidying up every room 3 times a day. Do people ban kids from their bedrooms. Is this a thing

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 21/12/2020 16:30

Does she have her own room? If so, ban away (nicely).

RolandSchitt · 21/12/2020 16:31

Yanbu. I'm sure she has plenty of room to play elsewhere, there's no need for her to play in your bedroom too.

FippertyGibbett · 21/12/2020 16:33

It sounds like she enjoys playing somewhere else, just a change from her own room.

Original poster
Harryfrog12 · 21/12/2020 16:33

Yes own bedroom and living room to play in. Im definately too soft and let her run riot. Always worse in the holidays even though its day 1 Xmas Grin

OP posts:
SilenceOfThePrams · 21/12/2020 16:34

Personally I wouldn’t ban my child from my bedroom altogether, but I would absolutely ban making a mess/playing in there. And make it a place she only goes to snuggle up with you. Works here anyway - my room is for cuddles and sleep and that’s it.

lazylinguist · 21/12/2020 16:35

I never banned my dc from our bedroom, but I didn't need to tbh. Since there were no toys in there and playing never happened in there, I don't think it held any attraction for them! Do you play with her in there? If so, then you might have invited this!

BaubleBabbles · 21/12/2020 16:36

I'd ban them from going in there to play. I'd let them come in with me if told they could, but I wouldn't let them come in and out whenever, certainly not to play in there.

MissConductUS · 21/12/2020 16:40

I didn't mean ban as in "never enter again", but just not using it as a play area. This is a good opportunity to teach her about knocking and getting permission to enter.

BaronessBomburst · 21/12/2020 16:42

She's four. She can tidy up herself!

GazOnABender · 21/12/2020 16:42

I went through this with mine. They are not allowed in there unless I'm in there because they are little magpies!

VetiverAndLavender · 21/12/2020 16:42

I think that's very common. If they have their own space to play, they don't need to play in your bedroom, as well. Or at least not on a daily basis.

JustCallMeGriffin · 21/12/2020 16:49

Our bedroom is a no go zone unless:

  1. We ask them to get something
  2. We're in there already and they come in for company/watch a film together

There's no need for children to have free run of an adult bedroom.

TheFootIsDown · 21/12/2020 16:50

I would never allow DD to leave her toys in my room. She has her own room and all her toys in the living room! Absolutely NBU!

TaraR2020 · 21/12/2020 16:52

Would never have dreamed of playing in my parents - or any adult's room - without explicit permission so I think ban away

user1493413286 · 21/12/2020 16:53

My DD does and I spend time moving toys back and forth a lot; it started when she was younger as I wanted to keep an eye on her while I got ready and had continued. She doesn’t play in there if I’m not in there though

Diddlysquatty · 21/12/2020 16:55

Mine do this. Mess up one then when that’s too messy, move onto the next. Drives me mad

Planty13 · 21/12/2020 16:56

My kids are always welcome in my room for a chat. But definitely no unsupervised playing (or digging around!) in there. YANBU

MrsWooster · 21/12/2020 16:57

Ours is Out Of Bounds for them and friends but they’re still welcome for cuddles in the morning or if DP or I are in there.

maddiemookins16mum · 21/12/2020 16:59

My DD could come in our room whenever BUT it was not to be used as a playroom 😊. Books and a few teddies fine, the whole ‘let’s play hotels and tea parties’(her favourite) nope. Also lego was banned due to an unfortunate stepping incident with a characters head.

MissDollyMix · 21/12/2020 17:01

My dc are welcome in my bedroom whenever they want but the ground rules are that they’re not to treat it like a playroom and absolutely not to come in with their friends for play dates (back in the day when other people were allowed into our homes!)

Bluntness100 · 21/12/2020 17:02

Surely whomever is looking after her jist gently leads her out so she doesn’t start to play in there? No ban is required, just whomever is caring for her, gently takes her out and puts her toys in the right room?

Aquamarine1029 · 21/12/2020 17:04

I never banned my kids from my bedroom, but they were not allowed to bring heaps of toys into it. That would have made me insane. They were more than welcome to have toys anywhere else, but my bedroom was a no toy zone.

Ohdoleavemealone · 21/12/2020 17:07

I have banned the kids this month or esle they may stumble accross their presents!

RavingAnnie · 21/12/2020 17:09

She's old enough now to tidy up (supervised). You shouldn't be tidying up for her - with her at this age.

KumquatSalad · 21/12/2020 17:10

None of my children have ever been allowed to play in my bedroom. The DSC aren’t allowed to either. None of them are allowed in unless invited. And they never really are - DS gets ‘allowed’ in so he can hoover while I’m making him do the rest of the house (hardly a treat 😆).

I wasn’t allowed to play in my parents’ bedroom growing up. None of my cousins or friends were allowed to play in theirs either. It was just totally standard that it was not a space for the kids.