Aibu to ban child from my bedroom

[Harryfrog12]

My one sanctuary is destroyed everyday by den building, tens of teddies, just general crap. Shes only 4 but would i be unreasonable to lock her out. Sick of tidying up every room 3 times a day. Do people ban kids from their bedrooms. Is this a thing

I grew up in a house built in the 1930s which meant the door handles were over 4 feet from the floor. If my parents didn’t want me going in a room they just shut the door because I couldn’t reach the handles. Do you like Art Deco styling?

My bedroom is mine. No toys.

we have a babygate on our bedroom - felt less full on than locking the door.
She can go in there with me, and we often do to cuddle and nap and play. But she knows its off limits when theres no adult with her - too many precious items accidentally broken and pieces of jewellery spirited away (whilst I'm cooking dinner / doing laundry) to let her carry on having full access.
Think that's totally fine to have a firm boundary over personal space, as long as the child has their own space/room to play in where you can keep an eye on them.

I was never allowed in my parents bedroom or bed, and would never have dreamt of playing with toys in there. I don’t think it’s affected my life so I think you should set boundaries, definitely no toys but I’m sure a cuddle in bed would be acceptable.

Mine are allowed in our room when one of us is there (ie to come and see us) but not when we are not. Also if they have brought loads of toys with them or are making loads of noise they get banished.

Would that work?

My son is allowed in my bedroom, he sleeps in there most nights. But it is not an area for play, its an area to sleep or find me.

My dcs have always been. Allowed in my bedroom.
They’ve never played there and certainly no den building etc..

Also at 4yo they were told to tidy up themselves (with a bit of help).

Glad im not alone in this. We only have a two up two down so i think she just sees every room as a free for all. I do have a superking bed which i think is half the attraction. I do play with her in there tbf in any room where in so maybe i have brought it on myself. Come christmas theres gona be some new ground rules for sure.

My kids are allowed in mine to use my xbox to play on, however, if they're not playing, they have to leave and go back to their own rooms.

There was a point they were using my bed to chill out in and i go annoyed when they were getting upset by me turfing them out to get changed for a shower, or wanting it to myself in a morning when i wasn't in a rush to get up...etc.

As a child, unless mom was in there, her room was out of bounds, i still treat it with the same respect, and my kids aren't allowed in there either.

Everyone deserves some space that is theirs, and child free without permission to join you.

My twins have free rein with my room; it's just somewhere I sleep. I don't have a partner, so they are welcome in. When they start having friends over, said friends won't be in there, as I think that's a bit weird, but until then...😎

Boundaries. You are the adult.

We were never allowed in our parents bedrooms as kids at all. I tell mine they cant go in alone, has to be with me or DH, and never to play.