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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to ban child from my bedroom

62 replies

Harryfrog12 · 21/12/2020 16:29

My one sanctuary is destroyed everyday by den building, tens of teddies, just general crap. Shes only 4 but would i be unreasonable to lock her out. Sick of tidying up every room 3 times a day. Do people ban kids from their bedrooms. Is this a thing

OP posts:
Beautifulbonnie · 21/12/2020 17:13

I’ve never banned my kids front my bedroom. Because as a child I wasn’t ever allowed in my mum and step fathers room and it was horrid. Because I felt I couldn’t go in at night if I needed her

So I couldn’t do that to my child. However my kids don’t bring stuff into my bedroom. They never have really. Not even when they were young

Is it a space thing? Does her bedroom have enough space for a den? Does she feel safer in your room? Hence the den? Does she sleep in there?

MedusasBadHairDay · 21/12/2020 17:14

I was never allowed unsupervised in my parents bedroom, but (since lockdown) mine have been allowed in ours while I'm wfh if they want to watch TV, or if they want to read quietly. I'm not putting a TV in their room, and as they have to share a room I felt bad about them not being able to have space from each other.

They are absolutely not allowed to take toys in or build dens or run around the room though (lost an ornament that way the other week)

tootesuite · 21/12/2020 17:16

My mum's just put all the locks with keys on all her bedroom doors. She wishes she did it when we were still kids. We're all 6 of us 30+ now.

CherryPavlova · 21/12/2020 17:21

Ours always asked for permission to go in unless we were in there.

Sobeyondthehills · 21/12/2020 17:24

I let DS in there if he wants to watch a DVD and we are watching something else on the main TV, but no toys

winterbabythistime · 21/12/2020 17:34

My ds (4) doesn't go into my room without asking and knows not to make a mess in there. Yanbu. It won't hurt kids to know that some things are only for their parents .

MessAllOver · 21/12/2020 17:38

We allow books in ours and do bedtime stories in there but absolutely no toys.

WorraLiberty · 21/12/2020 17:44

Ours were never allowed in our room without one of us being in there

Having said that, I don't remember them ever asking really because there was nothing in there for them anyway.

Barton10 · 21/12/2020 17:45

Mine knew they weren’t allowed in to play but could come in when I was there

LindaEllen · 21/12/2020 17:48

I think it's useful to have an adults only room to be honest.

"Sweetheart, don't go into Mummy's bedroom unless she's there too, okay?"

She might need reminding every so often.

Or you could get a lock on the door, just a simple bolt lock at the top where it's too high for her to reach :).

randomchap · 21/12/2020 17:55

Mine aren't allowed in my room, unless they've had a nightmare/need a nighttime cuddle.

It's good to have a toy-free sanctuary

HitthatroadJack · 21/12/2020 17:59

My kids are banned from my study full stop, and are banned from using my bedroom (and guest room if we expect visitors, back in the olden days when that was a thing) as a playroom.

I am sure they'll manage to survive that trauma Grin

HitthatroadJack · 21/12/2020 18:01

I’ve never banned my kids front my bedroom. Because as a child I wasn’t ever allowed in my mum and step fathers room and it was horrid. Because I felt I couldn’t go in at night if I needed her

That's sad, but understandable with a step dad.

Kids can perfectly understand the difference between not allowed to come and play, but allowed to go to mum at night when they need, so I wouldn't worry about it.

ThatBitch · 21/12/2020 18:02

My dc are allowed in my room to talk to me, watch the telly in bed if they've asked or to read together as they can both get on the bed. They are not allowed to bring toys in there to play or make a mess. They both have their own rooms and a playroom. I definitely don't think you are being unreasonable.

fandigo · 21/12/2020 18:02

My kids do this and it drives me mad. I remove a ton of their crap from my bedroom several times a day. They have a bedroom each and a playroom and i have a 'good' room where we all watch telly. Nowhere is off limits and it's ridiculous. I need to be stricter.

Palavah · 21/12/2020 18:03

i wasn’t allowed to play in my parents’ bedroom growing up. None of my cousins or friends were allowed to play in theirs either. It was just totally standard that it was not a space for the kids

This. I don't think we'd ever have gone in unaccompanied.

Almostslimjim · 21/12/2020 18:04

I've banned mine from playing in our room, too much personal stuff, breakable stuff and too many Christmas gifts stashed away!

They can get dressed in my room and be in it whilst I'm there, but no playing in there or being in there alone.

Aprilx · 21/12/2020 18:05

I don’t have children and it is a long time since I was a child, but we rarely stepped foot in parents bedroom, definitely would not have played in there. We would go in if asked to get something (rare), to ask them something if they were in there or on special days like Mother’s of Father’s Day when we would go in in the morning with cards and presents.

womaninatightspot · 21/12/2020 18:05

For some reason my 5yo twins like to make dens in my (walk in) wardrobe so fustrating to constantly find half thier stuff has been dragged through. I've banned them. They have a bedroom, a playroom and a sitting room to play in.

Tumbleweed101 · 21/12/2020 18:06

Mine have always been banned from going in there when I'm not and just to play. They can come in to talk to me if i'm in there, if they need me in the night etc. It's the one place you can keep all your private and nice things away from being trashed otherwise nowhere is safe!

TrialOfStyle · 21/12/2020 18:09

I don’t think you need to ban, but make it a ‘play free zone’. DS comes into my bedroom nearly every morning and we chatter and cuddle. We will occasionally take a book in but even then, books are to go back to his room if he wants a new one.

baublesforme · 21/12/2020 18:09

I have 4 kids and they are not allowed to play in my bedroom. They have bedrooms, and downstairs. So no I don't think it's unreasonable to stop her playing in there.

MamaDane · 21/12/2020 18:09

I thought from the title you meant for sleeping and figured there should be exceptions for nightmares, being sick and just because. But seeing that it's just her crap you don't want lying around 😂 ban away, OP.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 21/12/2020 18:12

Mine never played in my room they had their own.

Kumquatsquash · 21/12/2020 18:14

I had no idea we were allowed to do this! I'm off to B&Q first thing tomorrow to buy a small bolt to lock mine out in the daytime. Ds4 still wanders in at night which I don't mind but having to pick up legos, dominoes, teddies and a millions cars just to get into bed every night is driving me insane. As well as my pillows and blankets being tossed on the floor, books rearranged, houseplants menaced...