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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

You CAN stay overnight with support bubble

127 replies

Nochangeplease · 20/12/2020 20:06

This is driving me bonkers. I have read so many threads on it tonight. Yes I know I’m now creating another one but it seems everyone is quick to pile in telling people they mustn’t do things and quoting mid information. I know it’s irrational, but it’s really angering me for some reason.
If you are in a support bubble with someone, you can stay overnight with them no matter what tier you are in. You are one household essentially.
People really seem to want lonely people to stay lonely.
“You cannot leave your home or the place where you are living for holidays or stays overnight away from your main home unless you have a reasonable excuse for doing so. This means that holidays in the UK and abroad are not allowed. This includes staying in a second home or caravan, if that is not your primary residence, or staying with anyone you do not live with (other than those with whom you have formed a support bubble)”
The wording of the guidance before was confusing but the rules remain the same. You can stay overnight!

OP posts:
fairydustandpixies · 21/12/2020 21:17

I've isolated for two weeks in preparation for leaving tier 1 to tier 2 but driving through a tier 4 area. I'm now not going and will spend Christmas entirely alone. I've offered myself for volunteering but it seems that isn't even possible either.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 21/12/2020 21:41

@1Morewineplease

Under Tier 4 you're not allowed to mix. You can only have one bubble . You aren't allowed to stay overnight.
You ARE allowed to stay overnight with your support bubble! So sick of people saying its not allowed.
00100001 · 21/12/2020 22:53

@1Morewineplease

Under Tier 4 you're not allowed to mix. You can only have one bubble . You aren't allowed to stay overnight.
... what nonsense are you talking??
Nochangeplease · 21/12/2020 23:03

@1Morewineplease
I just can’t...Hmm

OP posts:
booboo24 · 21/12/2020 23:27

It's driving me insane too! YOU CAN LEAVE AND ENTER A TIER 4 AREA TO VISIT YOUR SUPPORT BUBBLE, AND YOU CAN STAY OVERNIGHT BECAUSE YOU'RE OPERATING AS 1 HOUSEHOLD!!!!

MercyBooth · 22/12/2020 00:03

Ahem

Please try to remember that many elderly disabled people will have told the care workers that usually come to their homes that they wernt needed because they were expecting to be with family.
So family will have to do the care even if they dont usually. Another thing not factored in by Boris and Chums

Christmassequins · 22/12/2020 00:15

Here's a scenario that I assume the answer is no to. DC lives in a tier 4 area. We are in tier 3. DC shares a flat. The flatmate went home last week so DC is now alone. Because someone else shares the flat, she can't have a support bubble can she? So she'll have to be alone at Christmas. That is right isn't it? So bloody frustrating, as we've all had covid anyway.

Coffeeandcocopops · 22/12/2020 09:01

@Christmassequins

Here's a scenario that I assume the answer is no to. DC lives in a tier 4 area. We are in tier 3. DC shares a flat. The flatmate went home last week so DC is now alone. Because someone else shares the flat, she can't have a support bubble can she? So she'll have to be alone at Christmas. That is right isn't it? So bloody frustrating, as we've all had covid anyway.
The answer is no. But what about your Ds mental health? Will she be ok on her own? I know I wouldn’t be. There are exceptions. The police are not going to fine you in this situation. It’s no different to students in university halls who have come home for Christmas.
TheRoyalOak · 22/12/2020 09:55

Agree with what coco just said. This is a scenario where mental health and wellbeing needs to be balanced against potential risk of the virus. If I had another DC living with me who was high risk or if the dc I tier 4 didn't really mind being alone, then maybe I wouldn't have them over. But if they were going to be lonely and depressed and I was low risk then I'd have them over. To limit spread maybe avoid overnight stay if possible.

CouldBeOuting · 22/12/2020 10:45

Even support bubbles are supposed to socially distance though.

Personally I think bubbling should be avoided unless actually necessary. Here is an example of unnecessary risks -

Tier 4, household A has a couple and two adult children living at home. Household B has a married couple (one of which is a child of household A) with two children (one under 1year) and 2step children who visit (legally) on a regular basis (none of the children have any additional needs). Household C the parent of the wife in Household A and his partner.

They are ALL getting together on Christmas Day (and have been constantly since March). They are claiming that as The Grandad in household C is elderly he needs to support bubble with his daughter (despite having a partner and being in good health), they Household B “needs” to bubble with A because they have a child under 1 year despite all being fit and healthy and grandparents have been seeing the children regularly.

There will be 8 adults, 2 children (plus the stepchildren for some of the day) crammed into a small house PLUS one of the adult children is having her boyfriend of 3 months come to stay on Christmas evening “for the sake of her mental health”.

None of these people NEED support bubbles, they just don’t give a stuff about the risks and the school age children will be off to school in January just in time to have incubated the virus and pass it on to their teachers. Teachers who, if like my school, have been warned to stay as isolated as possible so that we can stay fully staffed and not have to close any classes.

Nochangeplease · 22/12/2020 11:21

@CouldBeOuting That is wrong. Support bubbles are not supposed to socially distance at all. They are treated as ONE household, hence being allowed to stay overnight and interact as normal.

OP posts:
Nochangeplease · 22/12/2020 11:24

I’m a single parent. My Mum and Dad are my support bubble. We’re in tier 4. We don’t need to stay overnight as live close enough, but could if we wanted to and don’t need to social distance at all. Kids go to their house, they come to mine ect. We didn’t in the beginning but over time came to accept the risk and get on with things.

OP posts:
00100001 · 22/12/2020 11:26

@CouldBeOuting. Nope. Wrong.

Members of support bubbles font need to SD.

Why would they?

How could you support your elderly mother who needs help to stand up/get dressed etc without going near them?

ThatLibraryMiss · 22/12/2020 11:55

@CouldBeOuting
Even support bubbles are supposed to socially distance though.

Where did you get that from? This is the official government guidance, from here:
Once you’re in a support bubble, you can think of yourself as being in one ‘household’. It means you can have close contact with the other household in your bubble as if they were members of your own household. This means you do not need to maintain social distance with people in your support bubble.

Your example is extreme and I'd say they're pushing the limits of what's acceptable and stepping beyond it with the adult's boyfriend coming to stay, but it's cherrypicked. For every one of those there'll be hundreds of people who'd otherwise be alone for months - bubbling for them isn't strictly necessary when they could survive without company but good food isn't strictly necessary when you can survive on beans on toast. I don't see you complaining about people buying turkey and pigs in blankets. Or maybe you have done; I haven't done an AS.

SarcasmQueen · 22/12/2020 11:58

@couldbeouting just because you think they don't need to be in a bubble doesn't mean they don't think they need the support.

I am in a bubble with my parents as I have an 8 month old. Yes me, my partner and the little one are all perfectly healthy so you would say I dont need to bubble. I would disagree, I need that support to save me from being home with a baby by myself since March while her dad is at work.

Its really irrelevant if you think they need to bubble or not, if they think they need it then they can. Judging them is unhelpful to everyone.

They don't need to social distance either, bubbles become one household.

Embracelife · 22/12/2020 12:03

If it s necessary it s "allowed" e.g kne lone afult joining family
But be sensible
Gatheting 8 in small house is not sensible
m.youtube.com/watch?v=IREN9O3eVkI&feature=emb_logo

CouldBeOuting · 22/12/2020 12:34

[quote Nochangeplease]@CouldBeOuting That is wrong. Support bubbles are not supposed to socially distance at all. They are treated as ONE household, hence being allowed to stay overnight and interact as normal.[/quote]
Sorry, you’re right. I was looking at the guidance issued by our local council which says that even bubbles should “try to maintain social distancing where possible”. Clearly not “official”.

LemonSherbetFancies · 29/12/2020 13:08

That's madness.
DP and I are certainly not social distancing.

I also don't understand why the lady who posted upthread could not go to her daughters flat. If the flatmate had moved out temporarily then why can't the daughter have her parents there for a support bubble?

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 29/12/2020 13:12

Knew this throughout as my partners been staying over. Hope my neighbours haven't thought I've been breaking the rules all this time 😂

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 29/12/2020 13:14

I'm in tier 4 and you most definitely can.

wizzywig · 29/12/2020 13:15

What boils my piss is that I have disabled kids older than toddlers, I need support

Reallystressedout · 29/12/2020 13:21

@wizzywig are you on your own with them? then you are allowed a support bubble with other family members/extended family.

00100001 · 29/12/2020 13:30

@wizzywig you're allowed support

wizzywig · 29/12/2020 18:58

@Reallystressedout, @00100001 sorry, I missed out that I do have an adult in the house, but he is intentionally useless

00100001 · 29/12/2020 19:26

You’re still allowed a support bubble.

If you need help and support, and have someone willing and able to bubble with you, then do it.

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