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Original poster

You CAN stay overnight with support bubble

127 replies

Nochangeplease · 20/12/2020 20:06

This is driving me bonkers. I have read so many threads on it tonight. Yes I know I’m now creating another one but it seems everyone is quick to pile in telling people they mustn’t do things and quoting mid information. I know it’s irrational, but it’s really angering me for some reason.
If you are in a support bubble with someone, you can stay overnight with them no matter what tier you are in. You are one household essentially.
People really seem to want lonely people to stay lonely.
“You cannot leave your home or the place where you are living for holidays or stays overnight away from your main home unless you have a reasonable excuse for doing so. This means that holidays in the UK and abroad are not allowed. This includes staying in a second home or caravan, if that is not your primary residence, or staying with anyone you do not live with (other than those with whom you have formed a support bubble)”
The wording of the guidance before was confusing but the rules remain the same. You can stay overnight!

OP posts:
mnahmnah · 20/12/2020 22:58

@ThatLibraryMiss

Thanks. That’s reassuring. There’s a large degree of common sense too. I haven’t set foot in a supermarket since March. Or a pub, restaurant, cinema etc. I literally go to work and for country walks. When we visit mum we just walk the dog and go nowhere.

Lemons1571 · 20/12/2020 22:59

Childcare bubbles are not for adults mixing and socialising though. The parents should not be present when the other adults are providing childcare, and social distancing still applies to the adults. So you can’t have a 6 and 7 yo, and also have your parents in your house socialising with you, and claim that’s a childcare bubble.

mnahmnah · 20/12/2020 23:00

@Lemons1571

Support bubbles are different to childcare bubbles. My mum is in her 70s and alone. Sees nobody. We are her support bubble, rather than her being our childcare bubble

ThatLibraryMiss · 20/12/2020 23:01

@Clymene

Frankly I think it's stretching credibility to have a 'support bubble' you only see every 3 months because you live miles away.

No, it's not legally wrong. But this is about not spreading the virus, not finding a way round the rules.

Meh, do what you feel comfortable doing.

Why? The person I most want to be physically close to lives 180 miles away from me. I haven't been in anyone else's house since March, or been touched by anyone else, or been in anyone else's support bubble. I'm not finding a way round the rules. I'm visiting my support bubble. We will not be living the high life; we will be staying indoors except for walking the dogs. Because we care about each other we will be careful not to put each other at risk. Lucky you if your family live locally; mine doesn't.
WeavingWandering · 20/12/2020 23:05

@Clymene- depends on how you use that ‘support’ - I’ve lived o/s for most of my life so am reasonably used to being away from family and friends , so I just got on with it. Didn’t seem worth the risk of having people into my home unnecessarily.

However, I knew if I ever find myself in a dire emergency... that sometimes you just need your mum! Unfortunately, that is the situation I’ve found myself in, and I’m glad of my decision.

And while I’m hoping the pandemic is resolved and my partner can come home by my due date, im a FTM and picking a random person as my birth partner really didn’t sit well with me so I chose my mum. I knew that meant I wouldn’t have a ‘regular’ support person, but she would be there when it counted .

But different strokes for different folks! :)

CrispySeaweedIsReallyCabbage · 20/12/2020 23:06

@Clymene

Frankly I think it's stretching credibility to have a 'support bubble' you only see every 3 months because you live miles away.

No, it's not legally wrong. But this is about not spreading the virus, not finding a way round the rules.

Meh, do what you feel comfortable doing.

I think though, for some people, this is support.

That said, I'm not bubbling with my relative who lives hours away. There is no way I'm having overnight guests at the moment, for not 100% altruistic reasons; no, I don't want to spread it, but nor do I want to catch it. But, if it was my adult DC or something and they had nobody else, I obviously would.

It strikes me, that you really have to want to bubble with someone. It's quite a big commitment, as dawned on me on another thread today.

PurpleDandelions · 20/12/2020 23:07

Do you sensible people know whether it is ok for a tier 2 household to drive through a tier 4 area as part of a longer journey to another tier 2 area? (Assuming all tier 2 guidelines are followed at the destination.)

The only relevant guidance I can find online only refers to travelling through tier 3 (which is ok). I'm hoping that this is just because the tier 2 section hasn't been updated since tier 4 came into being.

KumquatSalad · 20/12/2020 23:07

My ex’s support bubble is his parents, who live 6-7 hours drive away. He takes DS there whenever he has his for a week or more. If that’s how he chooses to use his support bubble, I see no problem with it. It’s completely within the rules.

DH and I are entitled to a support bubble because we have a baby. But we aren’t using it. Our families live miles away. And neither of us is going to volunteer to shackle ourselves to either of our parents.

Coffeeandcocopops · 20/12/2020 23:13

@Lemons1571

Childcare bubbles are not for adults mixing and socialising though. The parents should not be present when the other adults are providing childcare, and social distancing still applies to the adults. So you can’t have a 6 and 7 yo, and also have your parents in your house socialising with you, and claim that’s a childcare bubble.
That’s not true. Childcare bubbles can mix.
Haenow · 20/12/2020 23:15

The guidance has definitely been updated. It was ambiguous. I’m really pleased people can continue with their support bubbles.

Signaturesoftheworkers · 20/12/2020 23:15

Frankly I think it's stretching credibility to have a 'support bubble' you only see every 3 months because you live miles away.

No, it's not legally wrong. But this is about not spreading the virus, not finding a way round the rules.

If the person you are supporting is faced with being on their own over Christmas for the first time ever and struggling with that why does it matter if they are 4 miles or 400 miles away? That's my position. Job means being constantly tested so negative and will not have been anywhere for a week before bring collected, is leaving them alone really acceptable if they don't need to be? I'm honestly not trying to get around the rules, I 100% wish it was absolutely clear either way and then I wouldn't have spent the last 24 hours in complete turmoil trying to work out if it's ok to get them or not.

WeatherwaxOn · 20/12/2020 23:17

Unfortunately the way it's worded on the official channels makes it very confusing but if you're in a support bubble then you're effectively one household.
I have a friend coming to us, but just them and not family now as was originally intended.

However, I have two other friends, both vulnerable, whom I would (in normal circumstances) have offered to spend Christmas with us rather then be alone. One is single, with learning disabled siblings in full time care, and no other living family in this country. The other is also single, with a range of health conditions, recently lost a parent and the other parent is too frail to visit them (and they have several pets that they cannot leave unattended, nor take to parents' house).
It's both heartbreaking and frustrating to have to choose but friend who is coming to us literally has nobody else. Friend with no living family in this country is a regular churchgoer and is 'in' with their local religious community so I am fairly sure that they will get some form of support. Not so sure about other friend though. Sad

goodwinter · 20/12/2020 23:22

@Clymene

Frankly I think it's stretching credibility to have a 'support bubble' you only see every 3 months because you live miles away.

No, it's not legally wrong. But this is about not spreading the virus, not finding a way round the rules.

Meh, do what you feel comfortable doing.

The thing is, you have no idea of people's circumstances. Speaking for myself only, my mum has serious mental health issues (cPTSD), my middle brother has behavioural issues and my youngest brother (10yo) is a young carer for my mum. We live hours away from each other but we've "bubbled" because them staying with us means they all get some time away from the toxic home environment and my 10yo brother can be a kid again for a while. Someone else on this thread mentioned their mother living alone after their father passed away. There are so many other situations like this. None of us are trying to go "around" the rules, it's perfectly within the rules, and frankly attitudes like yours are really unnecessary.
sillysaussage · 20/12/2020 23:25

Thanks op. My dad is traveling 100 plus miles to spent Christmas with us, we've been his support bubble since they were allowed. I'm his only family member so what's he supposed to do sit in his house lonely and miserable because we're deemed too far away by people on the internet. It's very worrying hearing a family member so down and depressed on the phone because they're so lonely and fed up.

AncoraAmarena · 20/12/2020 23:27

@Clymene

Frankly I think it's stretching credibility to have a 'support bubble' you only see every 3 months because you live miles away.

No, it's not legally wrong. But this is about not spreading the virus, not finding a way round the rules.

Meh, do what you feel comfortable doing.

Support bubbles are not just about providing practical or physical support. But supporting and being those who could be emotionally or mentally vulnerable or lonely.

So, not 'stretching credibility' at all. So yes, if it gives comfort to someone who would otherwise be spending time on their own then people should bloody well feel 'comfortable' doing it. It is entirely legal.

StrawberrySquash · 21/12/2020 00:13

Frankly I think it's stretching credibility to have a 'support bubble' you only see every 3 months because you live miles away.
I disagree. It's actually better in covid terms because you are seeing each other less often, hence there are fewer opportunities for the virus to jump between people.

MercyBooth · 21/12/2020 01:53

Im in a support bubble because im the only adult carer who cares for a disabled person (DH) Adam Wagner is a lawyer on Twitter and hes great at picking it apart and explaining it.

MercyBooth · 21/12/2020 01:57

People seem to get some sort of joy out of telling people they’re not allowed to do things, which is cruel enough when they’re actually right but just infuriating when they’re wrong.
I don’t think we should be judging anybody for their decisions right now without fully knowing their reasons

YY @Nochangeplease

Might be an idea to tell know alls that the last thing the NHS needs right now are carers throwing in the towel. They save the NHS a lot in NON Covid times. Its not a good idea to piss us off now. I suspect this is why guidance was changed to allow it.

MercyBooth · 21/12/2020 01:58

@00100001 Read my post above and be careful what you wish for.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 21/12/2020 02:13

@Smallbus1

Oh really! This is such good news. We have 8m twins and support bubble are my parents. We are in T4 and have cancelled them coming for xmas day, but sounds like they can come and stay over?!
I think you need to check that out more carefully. Support bubbles were for single people (with it without children) not for couples as you have each other.

The 'under 1 thing' I'm not sure of the rules around that.

Dachshundlady · 21/12/2020 02:25

Callipygian
I believe you are still allowed to retain your support bubble as a single adult when a child returns from university. The government guidance on student movement covers this: “ University students are allowed to change their household temporarily once after 2 December to return home for Christmas. After that point they should comply with the social contact limits above as if their family home is their household. This will not affect any support bubble arrangements their family home is part of. ”

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 21/12/2020 02:27

@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants the rules changed a couple of weeks ago. Couples with a baby under 1 also qualify for a support bubble.

Callipygion · 21/12/2020 06:22

Dachshundlady thanks for that info.

SarcasmQueen · 21/12/2020 06:48

@witchesBritchesPumpkinPants as I previously said if your child is under 1 you CAN have a support bubble, if you're in England, regardless of if you're a couple or not. This change was introduced at the end of the second lockdown on the 2nd of December.

www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household#who-can-make-a-support-bubble

Please see the 3rd bullet point of the who can make a support bubble section. You should check information before telling someone they're doing the wrong thing or that it isn't allowed. Some people really need the support and if you put them off it could seriously affect their mental health. If you don't know look it up before posting.

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