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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You CAN stay overnight with support bubble

127 replies

Nochangeplease · 20/12/2020 20:06

This is driving me bonkers. I have read so many threads on it tonight. Yes I know I’m now creating another one but it seems everyone is quick to pile in telling people they mustn’t do things and quoting mid information. I know it’s irrational, but it’s really angering me for some reason.
If you are in a support bubble with someone, you can stay overnight with them no matter what tier you are in. You are one household essentially.
People really seem to want lonely people to stay lonely.
“You cannot leave your home or the place where you are living for holidays or stays overnight away from your main home unless you have a reasonable excuse for doing so. This means that holidays in the UK and abroad are not allowed. This includes staying in a second home or caravan, if that is not your primary residence, or staying with anyone you do not live with (other than those with whom you have formed a support bubble)”
The wording of the guidance before was confusing but the rules remain the same. You can stay overnight!

OP posts:
Coffeeandcocopops · 21/12/2020 08:18

Smallbus1
Oh really! This is such good news. We have 8m twins and support bubble are my parents. We are in T4 and have cancelled them coming for xmas day, but sounds like they can come and stay over?!
I think you need to check that out more carefully. Support bubbles were for single people (with it without children) not for couples as you have each other.

The 'under 1 thing' I'm not sure of the rules around that

And you need to check your facts before telling someone they are wrong and then admitting you are not sure of the new rules!!!!

CrispySeaweedIsReallyCabbage · 21/12/2020 08:20

Oh good digging by dachshund there. Looks as if that poster's DS can come after all!

Tier4christmas · 21/12/2020 08:35

@Coffeeandcocopops I think @Lemons1571 is right, the guidance does seem to say that you can only mix for childcare reasons.

We have a childcare bubble with MIL so I’m keen to make sure we’re doing things correctly (I hadn’t realised she couldn’t also provide childcare to SIL!)

“A childcare bubble is where one household links with one other household to provide informal childcare to anyone under 14. All adults in both households must agree to this arrangement. ‘Informal’ childcare means it is unpaid and unregistered.

Members of either household can provide childcare in a home or public place. This includes overnight care.

You can only have one childcare bubble with one other household. This means no household should be part of more than one childcare bubble.

You can only use a childcare bubble for childcare. You cannot use a childcare bubble to mix with another household for other reasons.”

SnowDoggy · 21/12/2020 08:55

This is a really good and helpful thread, thank you.

The guidance someone posted above about travelling/staying overnight between 24-26th to enable you to visit your Christmas bubble on the 25th. I can't work out what it means by 'private rented accommodation.' We were due to visit MIL/FIL for Christmas a few hours drive away. Does this mean we can stay overnight on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day with them?

Lemons1571 · 21/12/2020 09:00

@Coffeeandcocopops you don’t have to social distance from your childcare people if your children are under 1 year of age.

You do have to social distance if there are eg. 2 grandparents who live together, separately from 2 parents and children 1+, that all live in the same house.

I suspect many are bending that rule. Lots of people I know are a couple with toddlers saying oh yeah my parents are coming over for lunch as they’re my childcare bubble. Nooooo! You don’t mix with your childcare bubble. It’s purely so you can work.

Otherwise you’re adding another several million households mixing with no social distancing. And the whole point is to avoid mixing!

Zippy1510 · 21/12/2020 09:15

@SnowDoggy I think it’s implying some kind of holiday rental but not one with multiple guests from other households such as a hotel or B and B. It’s (unsurprisingly) very confusing and illogical though as firstly if your entire Christmas bubble can reside in a holiday let together from the 24-26th then what would the difference be to residing inside one persons actual house. Also what if someone rents their home- that’s private rented accommodation- so what difference does renting versing home ownership have on transmission. It’s utterly bizarre.

SnowDoggy · 21/12/2020 09:18

[quote Zippy1510]@SnowDoggy I think it’s implying some kind of holiday rental but not one with multiple guests from other households such as a hotel or B and B. It’s (unsurprisingly) very confusing and illogical though as firstly if your entire Christmas bubble can reside in a holiday let together from the 24-26th then what would the difference be to residing inside one persons actual house. Also what if someone rents their home- that’s private rented accommodation- so what difference does renting versing home ownership have on transmission. It’s utterly bizarre.[/quote]
Thanks, I read it the same way as you. It absolutely wouldn't make any difference so it's just bizarre!

Dollywilde · 21/12/2020 09:36

@Lemons1571 @Tier4christmas the ‘baby under the age of 1’ thing isn’t a childcare bubble, it’s a support bubble acknowledging that new mums are at huge risk of loneliness during the pandemic and need support themselves. I have a 4 month old and currently struggling with PND while my husband works really long hours. Being able to legitimately bubble with my retired parents so that I’m not alone with a screaming baby on no sleep for 50 hours a week is the only thing that’s saved me in some of my bleaker moments if I’m honest.

This is completely separate to the childcare bubble available to parents of children of all ages.

Tier4christmas · 21/12/2020 09:47

@Dollywilde I understand that. @Lemons1571 was specifically referring to older children in a childcare bubble, not to children under 1. There are different rules around that as you say.

I’m glad that you’re able to bubble with your parents, I hope their support is helping you. I suffered from PND and it was a very difficult time.

KumquatSalad · 21/12/2020 10:44

If you’ve got any children under 1, then there is no social distancing requirement within your support bubble for anyone. You’re effectively one household.

GlamGiraffe · 21/12/2020 10:48

We are actually insure if we are aloowed to have a support bubble. In reality our life would completely disintegrste without it. Were in tier 4. I have a significant disability and for huge inflatable eriods of yimexam incapable me f functioning or being oeft alne.i lve eillwith my husband and 3 year old. Son just back from uni with tons to do. My husband is fighting to keep his budiness alve almst every hour af the day and half the night. We have a carer who looks after me and my daughter. Theres no way my husband could single handedly manage. Carer currently live alone but doesnt always. Hard yo know what that means. My life becomes in danger without her here so what are we supposed to do?

00100001 · 21/12/2020 11:50

@GlamGiraffe

We are actually insure if we are aloowed to have a support bubble. In reality our life would completely disintegrste without it. Were in tier 4. I have a significant disability and for huge inflatable eriods of yimexam incapable me f functioning or being oeft alne.i lve eillwith my husband and 3 year old. Son just back from uni with tons to do. My husband is fighting to keep his budiness alve almst every hour af the day and half the night. We have a carer who looks after me and my daughter. Theres no way my husband could single handedly manage. Carer currently live alone but doesnt always. Hard yo know what that means. My life becomes in danger without her here so what are we supposed to do?
Use your carer.
CrispySeaweedIsReallyCabbage · 21/12/2020 11:53

There is definitely provision for people with disabilities being able to use their carers! It's on the list I think for support bubbles; if you are the only adult in the house who does not need round the clock care, you can bubble with someone else. Even aside from the the support bubble, surely carers must be able to care for people! It would be utterly barbaric otherwise.

Lemons1571 · 21/12/2020 12:45

@GlamGiraffe I think that’s completely different, and comes more under the guidance for caring for / support for vulnerable people.

ThatLibraryMiss · 21/12/2020 17:03

@PurpleDandelions

Do you sensible people know whether it is ok for a tier 2 household to drive through a tier 4 area as part of a longer journey to another tier 2 area? (Assuming all tier 2 guidelines are followed at the destination.)

The only relevant guidance I can find online only refers to travelling through tier 3 (which is ok). I'm hoping that this is just because the tier 2 section hasn't been updated since tier 4 came into being.

@PurpleDandelions, I haven't seen anyone address your question. I believe it's ok. You are allowed to travel to visit your support bubble, and that's what you'll be doing. It's not like the virus is going leap from a local car, across a carriageway of the motorway and in through your closed car window to infect you. Fill the car with petrol before you go and if you have to stop make it fast and clean hands afterwards. Have a safe trip!
DrCoconut · 21/12/2020 19:33

And still lone parents of disabled adult children can't form a support bubble but people with a partner and a perfectly healthy baby can? The whole thing is illogical.

Tierrasfuente · 21/12/2020 19:37

People really seem to want lonely people to stay lonely.

I agree OP. It's sad.

Amanduh · 21/12/2020 19:47

Lone parents of disabled adult children can form a support bubble @DrCoconut if your disabled adult child needs care (from you or anyone else.) it was added with the ‘parent(s) of children under one’ on the 2nd Dec. If you are the only adult in your house that does not require care due to a disability you can form a support bubble.

Vates · 21/12/2020 19:52

I am in a support bubble with my Sister and am staying over the 24th. I need my smoochies with her dogs as they will be sleeping with methat night!

Coffeeandcocopops · 21/12/2020 20:17

@Tierrasfuente

People really seem to want lonely people to stay lonely.

I agree OP. It's sad.

I agree. It’s because they are in couples and forget what it is like to be on one’s own. Selfish.
Suzi888 · 21/12/2020 20:26

Absolutely correct! Glad someone started a thread.
“People really seem to want lonely people to stay lonely.” Yes they do and very smug with it too!

SarcasmQueen · 21/12/2020 20:37

@DrCoconut

And still lone parents of disabled adult children can't form a support bubble but people with a partner and a perfectly healthy baby can? The whole thing is illogical.
Actually @DrCoconut you can, it comes under the second bullet point of the who can form a support bubble section here-

www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household#who-can-make-a-support-bubble

It reads as follows;
You can form a support bubble with a household of any size if you are the only adult in your household who does not need continuous care as a result of a disability.

Hope that helps

Taylrse · 21/12/2020 20:50

I have a support bubble with my mum who lives alone and doesn't have anyone else.
I plan to stay over 23rd-27th. Both tier 3 areas but 2 hours apart.

I was reading the government website last night and although it was somewhat illogical and confusing, I don't believe I'm breaking any rules.

DrCoconut · 21/12/2020 21:08

My DS is not severely disabled enough to require continuous care though. But I am functionally the only adult in my home as DS is about 15 developmentally. I've been through it with my MP as I couldn't find anything relevant to my specific circumstances online. I have two other children and DS2 (under 18) is also autistic.

1Morewineplease · 21/12/2020 21:15

Under Tier 4 you're not allowed to mix. You can only have one bubble . You aren't allowed to stay overnight.

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