My neighbours never stop shagging

[fuckingfuckyfuck]

Dear God, it's me, Fuckingfuckyfuck. Please bless the patrons upstairs with some new bed hinges and the occasional erectile dysfunction because this has been a horrendous wake up call.

Seriously though, for the past several weeks there have been multiple times a day where my entire flat bounces with the bed upstairs rattling and shaking. Lasts about 3 minutes every time and always managed to catch me when I'm a) falling asleep, b) waking up or c) working.
AIBU to post some pictures of genital warts through the letterbox in hopes of scaring them off??

(I'm kidding but really this has brought a new meaning to Christmas being the time of "giving" )

It's really bad to have inconsiderate neighbors, whether the reason is noise due to dogs, playing loud music, loud fighting or shagging. Some people just really don't give a care.

Many years ago I stayed for a two months in an "Extended Stay America" when on a training course. It looked nice, had a pool, etc. but the walls were paper thin. You could hear everything from app at either side, but strangely nothing from app below (I was on top floor).

From one side I could hear my work colleague having phone sex several times a week with here DH back in England (she was not loud at all, but the walls so thin). I never mentioned it her. On the other side there was a newly married Asian couple that has just moved to the US , they were at it most nights of the week and every morning. Myself and my colleague got to now the Asian couple, and we'd go to dinner with them, hang at the pool, etc.

As a result, when I masturbated I always did it in the middle of living room area equal distance from each wall and was terrified to use my vibrator :)

I should also add, that I bought a really good set of Sony over-ear headphones from the local Best Buy store there. Great for blocking out sound, even when not listing to music on them. I'd put them when I started hearing sex sounds from either side ( because I noticed that I'd sometimes masturbate when the couple next door started at it , and it felt really wrong/strange when I got to know them)

Lucky them is all I can say

I once thought this of my upstairs neighbour, but I was a bit confused as she was otherwise quiet and I hadn’t seen a boyfriend. Months later she moved out and I moved into her flat. I get out the iron and ironing board and start on my ironing pile.... a familiar squeak squeak squeakety squeak starts up.

This thread is banging.

Blast some applause on your phone or TV once they’re done

Oh no! How annoying.

A friend suffers tenants {Students} above her who shag all day and all night long.
So much so she wonders if they are doing porn vids?

She felt like snapping ''Haven't you lectures to go to?''
Shaggety shag, on and on.

Put on Donna Summer, loudly.

@HoofHeartedSanta

Our neighbours have an arthritic trampoline with one or two squeaky springs, irritation lasts longer than three minutes. There is also shouting, screaming and a thrilling technical dismount section.

Have I led a sheltered life or does anyone else want to know more about the technical dismount section?

I feel your pain whilst working from home I’ve noticed my next door neighbours daughter seems to use her mums house as a shagging den. I feel like shouting “ just bloody hurry up” . I try and avoid bumping into them now as id have the urge to just laugh at them. They just don’t look like serial shaggers. 🤣😂

My friend was woken up, yet again, by the neighbours shagging. She put her dressing gown on and stormed next door. The guy stumbled downstairs and opened the door. Very nicely she told him that they could hear everything, next door, and could they be a bit quieter! He looked suitably embarrassed but it put a complete stop to the noise.

My younger DSis is staying with us for a few months, and she is great in general. However, after a few late night incidents when BF visits at weekend I was more than a bit annoyed, and pointed out that I could hear herself and BF having sex. It was not especially loud but rhythmic IYSWIM. Anyway, she was embarrassed, shocked, etc. Never heard those rhythmic, squeaking sounds again, ... but ...

It is almost worse now because I noticed a particular sound that she makes at some point (I guess when she cums). It's the only noise! She obviously doesn't realize it, and I don't want to mention it.

Sounds like their having lots of fun, to be honest, I’d be jealous 😆

@fuckingfuckyfuck

It's definitely shagging, unless it's some chronic aggressive masturbation. I can't think of anything else that would make a bed creak like that for 3 minutes several times a day? *@MaelyssQ*

See my ironing board post, above. 😁

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

Well, it’s nice to have a hobby.

That made me guffaw

This phone sex business.
Never could get into it.
I’d rather have a three minute shag than all that phone faffing.

Three minutes? What a hero.

We had this issue in the summer, our neighbout had their windows open so we could hear “ oh Steve, oh Steve, oh Steve” as could other people who had windows facing the courtyard open. I play rugby with Steve, I waited until an opportune and fairly public moment at training to loudly moan “oh Steeeeeve”.

Play very unsexy music very loudly. i.e.:

There's noone quite like Grandma
Teletubbies theme tune
That Crazy Frog song
Anything by the Vengaboys
Cotton Eyed Joe

Either that, or start spiking the water supply with bromide.

@andawaywego

Play very unsexy music very loudly. i.e.:

There's noone quite like Grandma
Teletubbies theme tune
That Crazy Frog song
Anything by the Vengaboys
Cotton Eyed Joe

Either that, or start spiking the water supply with bromide.

Or Short dick man by 20 fingers.

Amazon has offer on WD40 at the moment for £5 from one seller.

If I had to analogise the sexual relationship occurring upstairs, it would be like being mid-shower and seeing a spider crawling on the wall and so repeatedly BANG BANG BANGing it with a bottle of conditioner as it scuttles away.

Isn't all sex just like that?

I'll avoid the tantric sex book, but might pop an Ikea one through the letterbox.

An Ikea sex book? The mind boggles. Insert Tab A into Slot B, and don't forget to check the meatballs on the way out...

3 mins a time, multiple time a day ...

Like a Japanese meal: small portions, but oh, so many courses.

We've just got new neighbours and they seem to alternate fighting and shagging on a very regular basis.

All evening shouting and screaming at the kids or one another and then very late at night (usually wakes me up) rhythmic bed squealing, yes, yes, yes, grunting etc. I would say he doesn't exceed the 3 min mark either.

Previous neighbours had a toddler who cried a lot. I thought that was bad but this is worse. Lock down has definitely dampened my enthusiasm for terraced housing.

Send her some sudocream for her red-raw vajay-jay