Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

DH thinks I’m ruining Christmas.

92 replies

PunkAssMoFo · 19/12/2020 16:41

Original plan was Christmas Day at home as I am working in the evening. We were intending on visiting my parents on Boxing Day & ils on 27th. I was a bit worried about this and the risk of exposing my parents, but obviously desperate to see them.

Given Boris’ announcement that’s off. DH has proposed we visit my parents in the morning (2hrs away), his family in the afternoon (2hrs from my parents) & then home (1hour) for me to go to work. I have said no. It’s too much travelling on Christmas Day. I will be too tired to work. Given the increased spread of the virus, it is putting everyone at greater risk.

AIBU?

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/12/2020 10:44

Glad he’s let it go. He’s being ridiculous. He’s a father and a husband, his priority should be his young DC having a fun peaceful Christmas at home and his wife’s well-being as you have to work that night. He needs to grow a spine and tell his parents no.

Baconking · 20/12/2020 10:52

You aren't allowed to visit 2 families.

Tier 1, 2 & 3 can mix with one other family only

caringcarer · 20/12/2020 10:54

He must be mad, who except him would want to spend all day travelling around in a car. Kids will want to play with their new toys. He is not thinking straight. When in this busy traveling schedule would you eat Xmas dinner? I would tell him he can go but you are staying put.

Mumski45 · 20/12/2020 10:59

@Baconking I think the rule allowing 3 households still applies in tier 1 2 and 3

StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads · 20/12/2020 11:00

Even if there wasn't a pandemic on and you didn't have to work, that still sounds like a really shit Christmas to me. Who wants to spend hours and hours travelling between people's houses?

If his family is so insistent on you all spending Christmas together then they can always come and pop in to see you, can't they? Obviously they don't think it's too far to drive or they wouldn't expect you to do it.

Baconking · 20/12/2020 11:08

[quote Mumski45]@Baconking I think the rule allowing 3 households still applies in tier 1 2 and 3[/quote]
Oh yes, you're right.

I thought they changed the number of families as well as the number of days.

yeOldeTrout · 20/12/2020 11:26

2 adults & 5 hours of driving doesn't seem too much to me.

Given all other considerations, sounds like you have a green light to see the less cautious ILs and skip seeing your own parents this yr, OP.

Cleverpolly3 · 20/12/2020 11:31

@yeOldeTrout

2 adults & 5 hours of driving doesn't seem too much to me.

Given all other considerations, sounds like you have a green light to see the less cautious ILs and skip seeing your own parents this yr, OP.

There is no way I would chose to drive or be in a car for at least five hours on Christmas Day And then go to work!

Washimal · 20/12/2020 11:32

The fact that your DH would rather let his children spend 5 hours in the car on Christmas day, not to mention asking you to spend Christmas day visiting two sets of relatives who live hours apart before doing a night shift rather than stand up to his parents says a lot IMO. I'm glad he now seems to have backed down but in your shoes I'd be really annoyed with him for being so spineless.

MrsBobDylan · 20/12/2020 11:33

Is your husband generally very immature op? Does he understand that grown ups with children of their own don't have to see Mummy and Daddy at Christmas?

dayslikethese1 · 20/12/2020 11:34

I don't understand all these parents who put massive pressure on their DC to go to theirs for Christmas every year. It's just a day and it's not like either set are alone on the day. See them another time when covid risk is less and you don't have a night shift and have more time. Surely the thing that's important is the time spent together not the specific day it occurs? I admit my opinion is biased by the fact that I've never really understood the hysteria over Christmas.

WhatDoHedgehogsSay · 20/12/2020 11:36

Spending Christmas in the car is a shit Christmas.

Pumpkintopf · 20/12/2020 11:47

As a pp had pointed out you cannot do this anyway now - it is two households only on Christmas Day.

willowmelangell · 20/12/2020 12:15

Glad he has piped down. It was too much time in car, in out, coats on off on off. Hope you have a lovely day even with working.

GreekOddess · 20/12/2020 12:20

I also don't understand grown up people that can't go one Christmas without seeing their parents. Why would your dh want his children to spend the day travelling between relatives. I'm so thankful for our chilled Christmas Day that we have every year Covid or no Covid

Yeahnahmum · 20/12/2020 12:44

I would not go to either tbh. That way everyone is a winner/loser and noone/everyone feels left out.

I would feel sad for my dh if he couldn't see his family but i could see mine...

2pinkginsplease · 20/12/2020 12:49

I wouldn’t be doing That amount of travelling on Christmas Day, stay home and spend it with your children before you need to go to work.

He is being unreasonable expecting you to do that!

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread