I need a good come back for second hand hating in laws

[IPeedInThePool]

I got some bits for the kids from the charity shop this week just to wear Christmas Day they also had a sock basket 10 for £1 mainly baby socks so just picked some up everything goes in the wash first now in laws are making fun of me for buying second hand and my poor kids mental health they are 3 and 5 for god sake!

Buying from charity shops= 4x winning:

I save money.
Charity earns money for a good cause
Earth is saved from trash.
Donors feel good about themselves for giving to charity.

I buy most of DDs clothes second hand on eBay. It takes a bit of hunting/strategic bidding to get nice, good condition clothes but buying new seems a waste to me when she’s in them for only a few months. I do spend a fortune on properly fitted new shoes though and I’ll buy new if I want something specific and nothing on eBay fits the bill. She’s alway in co-ordinated outfits, I wouldn’t dream of putting her in something with holes or stains on it. I don’t see a problem.

We are not poor, both have decent jobs, a nice house, go on lovely holidays etc but why waste money!? We are expecting a baby next year and if it turns out to be a boy I’ll be selling DDs clothes and using the money to buy his clothes on eBay. It’s better for the environment too.

I would explain that by recycling, reusing or reducing you are ensuring there is a future world. Or I’d just say none of your business!

You could say.. '...but 350,000 tonnes of unused clothing goes into landfill every year in the UK alone and overall 84% of all clothing ends up in incinerators or landfill. I'm buying second-hand for their future... or do you not want the planet to be nice for them when they grow up?'

I also have friends with this attitude and it really pains me how short-sighted and selfish it is. A colleague at work said the other day 'no I don't wear dead people's clothes' referring to charity shops. I replied by saying that probably 90% of my clothes are secondhand because I give a shi*t about the planet!

Your in law's need to grow up. What exactly is wrong with second hand?! Sign of immaturity I think.

I know lots of women who have a clear out, and dump their clothes at charity shops, but say that they would never buy,or wear anything from a charity shop..

I buy a lot of stuff from the charity shop and eBay. The only people who know are DH and my Mum.

I never let on to anyone else as people are very divided on secondhand. An old boss used to think I did most of my shopping at John Lewis which really used to tickle me as he was very materialistic/judgemental.

I think 99% of my childrens wardrobes (and mine for that matter) are from charity shops and most are better quality and laat longer than the brand new clothes their cousins have because its cheaper than buying them new. As others have said they don't wear clothes long enough to wear them out so you can find some brilliant bargains in charity shops. Don't worry about what your in laws think, and if they do keep ok just tell them that everyone has their own opinions, and some of them are best kept to ourselves. I must say though that although I love charity shop find, my FIL somehow manages to find the most stained, tatty, ugly item in the shop that is falling apart and buy them for my children so I can see why someone might have a dim view of charity shops if they don't shop in them.

suppose it’s hard for older folks to understand environmental responsibility, but don’t worry we never judge”...

Older folks? You mean the people age 50+ who grew up with reusable everything, handed down furniture, paper bags, recycled pop bottles, corner shopping, fixable goods? Those older people?

Or do you mean 'older' folks in their 30s/40s who have grown up in a disposable world with increasing amounts of waste and resources?

I rarely bought new when my children were small. eBay had fab bundles/items and charity shops or car boots were fabulous for bargains.

Unlike my nieces and nephews who turned down all my used baby stuff, household stuff and wouldn't be seen dead in a charity shop 🙄 thankfully their own children are now more planet conscious than their parents.

OP it's not worth arguing over. Either don't show them or smile and nod and let them buy new stuff if they like.

Be nice. Say something like:

“Eh, times have changed. Everyone is doing it. Even the wealthy, scoring points for being “environmentally friendly”. You should come along sometime. You’d be amazed!

I buy nearly everything from charity shops - clothes, shoes, books, paintings, furniture. When my children were small, pretty much all their clothing was second hand, either hand me downs, or car boot sales, charity shops, summer fairs etc.

They were always well dressed and looked smart. They have all grown up with a healthy attitude to money and have inherited my absolute joy in getting something lovely for a bargain price - two matching sofas for a tenner, for example.

People that sneer at pre-owned stuff need to stop and think.

We earn well and live near a high street.

If I can't find a handbag to match an outfit, I'll often go in , get something, use it for an evening and give it straight back. It's like having a fully stocked wardrobe up the road.

Ignore them. Let them waste their money. Just tell them to make sure they donate to the local charity shop.

Eh stop showing them, it’s not difficult?

I said to my ex Mother in law once that I loved her tupperware from 1975. I was so impressed as it was in pristine condition and admired the way she only had what she needed and bought good quality things that she kept forever. When I went on about how old it was and vintage, she thought I was having a dig at her (I don't think she ever realised that unlike her I don't speak 'bitch' and just mean what I say). She replied and said, "Well I don't WASTE money" with clear emphasis on the words 'I' and 'Waste' which I believe was a dig at me. Perhaps you could try something similar to what she said. You can't get in trouble because you aren't insulting them, you're just pointing out your virtue which might also be their weakness.

In the past I’ve known some well off families, think ‘old county family’ money. Clothes were always passed round the country to family children.
I was surprised when I was asked if I could go to the post office to send off some old, well worn wellingtons. The postage must have cost nearly as much as a new pair!
I was always happy to be passed clothes and equipment for my children.
Ignore you MIL!

Why do people always victim blame other women ? It's her fault for showing them ? She probably has her relatives staying with her and didn't think to run around hiding her op shop bag. We only really think to hide the bags and the receipts when we've been doing the opposite and shopping up big

Tell them that you will be returning their Christmas present then as it came from the charity shop? 🤣 or actually gift them a old jigsaw puzzle with a piece missing.

I love charity shops, both my DD’s were dressed in 2nd hand clothes and I often buy myself clothes from my local charity shops.

donquixotedelamatncha chuckled out loud

People can't comment if you don't tell them.

I've never understood why people overshare and then complain about the reactions they receive.

beebumble2 I know it's not the point but utterly fascinated by the British. Why would they have spent money to post old wellingtons ?

@GlummyMcGlummerson

"Well considering the generations before them have completely cocked the planet up with their snide views about re-using, I'm teaching them ow the importance of looking after the planet and not sending perfectly good clothing to landfill"

OFGS. More ageist 'everything is the fault of the Boomers' shite.

Every Boomer I know has bought extensively secondhand. Only way to get over the recessions, unemployement and redundancies of 1980s, 1990s and 2008+. You know, the ones we lived, worked and brought up families through.

Remind her that 2nd children often wear and use things that the 1st child had.
That you only buy if the item still looks like new, and if 2nd hand is £1 and new is £10, that give you a lot of choice for little money.
Of course if she wants to provide £100 for the NEW dresses you won't say no.

@IPeedInThePool

I showed the mil the cute little dress I got, the bag was a banardos and there was socks in the bag she seen.

I feel bad for you, showing her a cute dress and having your happiness be squelched like that.

They're idiots.

@toconclude

Seriously some ignorant comments about prior generations.

My grandmother recycled. Never wasted a thing. Dried the clothes on a line when possible. Had a large garden and canned food. My Mom’s generation made our clothes, never borrowed money, knew how to stretch a dime. Never went out to eat. Bought the best they could afford and kept it forever. Did their own nails.

Now everything is more, more, more.

Someone I work with is a total bitch.
Whenever she says anything mean to me I always respond with a bright and breezy, "oh, you are so funny!" with a big smile and then change the subject. Just take the wind out of her sails.

If she proceeds, be ready to say, "How did you want me to feel when you said that?" or "What outcome did you want from that comment?"
Push it back on them to explain their behaviour.

You can always end with " I choose to know feel upset by anything you say so feel free to carry on as it has no impact on me whatsoever"