I need a good come back for second hand hating in laws

[IPeedInThePool]

I got some bits for the kids from the charity shop this week just to wear Christmas Day they also had a sock basket 10 for £1 mainly baby socks so just picked some up everything goes in the wash first now in laws are making fun of me for buying second hand and my poor kids mental health they are 3 and 5 for god sake!

You don't need a comeback.

They have weird hang-ups, and that's their problem. Some people are very weird about second hand, my inlaws are the same. For them it's about proving that you can afford to buy new.

I don't feel I have anything to prove to anyone, quite happy to buy second hand, it's far more environmentally friendly too.

, followed by:

'I guess I'm just less shallow than you'.

'You must have had such a difficult childhood- status symbols are like an obsession for you'.

'Yeah, I'm trying to help DH overcome his upbringing and be less materialistic'.

'It doesn't bother me when you are unpleasant around me because I know it's not your fault; but please remember not to say things like that around you grand children'

'Ha, ha; you are so petit bourgeois but I like you anyway'

“Oh, so you’ve got a problem with second-hand goods have you? Well it’s a good job your husband never had that problem, isn’t it, Sylvia? Because from what I hear, you weren’t exactly in showroom new condition yourself when you got married!!”

Feel free to adapt if her name isn’t Sylvia.

@StillCoughingandLaughing

“Oh, so you’ve got a problem with second-hand goods have you? Well it’s a good job your husband never had that problem, isn’t it, Sylvia? Because from what I hear, you weren’t exactly in showroom new condition yourself when you got married!!”

Feel free to adapt if her name isn’t Sylvia.

Yeah that's just downright rude.

Moral high ground here OP - just refuse to engage them on it.

I am afraid I would just have a big blow up shout at them

1. They are extremely rude, it’s up to you as parents where you get the kids clothes from
2. You are being environmentally friendly otherwise we would have clothes mountains everywhere
3. You are supporting a charity
4. The only people who may affect the kids mental health us them with their antiquated attitude

Then I would be telling them to leave, and not come back until they apologise and mean it

"Well considering the generations before them have completely cocked the planet up with their snide views about re-using, I'm teaching them ow the importance of looking after the planet and not sending perfectly good clothing to landfill"

Pretty much this. I can't bloody stand the idea that it's somehow virtuous to be wantonly wasteful.

Yes because big blow up shouting is exactly how adults respond to conflict. Not at all a pathetic thing to do.

Yeah that's just downright rude.

Oh dear. I had hoped it would come through in the tone of my post, but just for the avoidance of doubt - I was not being entirely serious.

Once again for the cheap seats - I am not suggesting the OP should call her mother-in-law’s sexual morals into question in response to a snide comment about second-hand socks. I fear the long-term repercussions could outweigh the short-term satisfaction.

I understand this frustration, some of the older members of my family turn their noses up because I get things off eBay. It's environmentally sound and I've had some absolute bargains!! Stuff that new I wouldn't be able to justify (the joules dress I got for my daughter for £2.99 is still my favourite!!) They also bug me by buying Mountains and mountains of stuff for her at Christmas too! I'm not one of those conscious consumerist types actively but it doesn't sit right with me, I always try and pass it down rather than just throw it....they raise eyebrows at that too!

Wow. good for you for reusing! A short sharp piss off should work.

I work in reuse, my DS and DD have had loads of second hand clothes and buggies/baby stuff. I'm so chuffed to have found it cheap and once I use it or they outgrow it, I pass it on again. Just like my mum and her friends passed things around when we were kids! Its common sense!
I actually boast about my bargains-I buy my PiL their christmas presents from my work and they love them!

the best christmas present I bought was a book of old pictures of the town my mum grew up in. It was 50p and she cried when I gave it to her. Because with presents it really is the thought that counts. Not how much it cost.
Its no ones business where you buy your kids things from, but if they can not stop being rude, then stop engaging with them.
I find there is a stigma almost snobbery around second hand stuff. I'm proud to reuse, I don't care what anyone thinks! this year has been so hard on everyone, we've noticed a increase in reuse/passing on.

Are charity shops accepting and selling donations again? I thought it had stopped because of Covid.

But in answer to your question, I usually play on what a bargain it was and how I'm trying to be more environmentally conscious, and don't make a big deal out of it and I'm hoping they'll get bored soon 🤞

@TheCrowsHaveEyes

Are charity shops accepting and selling donations again? I thought it had stopped because of Covid.

We've never stopped. But most places are asking you to make an appointment to drop things off as we have all sorts of (crazy) rules about stuff having to be quarantined for 72 hours before being touched.

Say this "To not care for the planet is no different than defecating in the bath tub one is soaking in!"

Yes, the ones round here are taking donations but they quarantine them for 72 hours (I think that’s how long) before they put them out for sale.

@IPeedInThePool maybe go with something along the lines of, “I suppose it’s hard for older folks to understand environmental responsibility, but don’t worry we never judge”... then smile sweetly.

Or “fuck off you stuck up wanker”. Either works

@IPeedInThePool

I showed the mil the cute little dress I got, the bag was a banardos and there was socks in the bag she seen.

Just stop doing that then?

I hate the throw away society and fast fashion I'm doing my bit to help reduce carbon footprint little bit at a time in the hope my children have a better place to live.

Comebacks don’t work on in-laws, you all have to live with each other so I would just stop mentioning where you’re shopping. Some people won’t countenance second hand clothes for their dc, others prefer it but if you know you don’t agree then just don’t poke.

I know people in their 40's who remember being teased as kids because they were large families and everything was second down and hand me down, so maybe it is coming from that view point from the IL's.

However, things are very different today, with Charity Shops thriving on the high street. We love them and I have saved an absolute fortune over the years on buying clothes, books and toys for my daugher, especially the books as she is an avid reader.

I would just reply, well actually it's none of your concern is it, and my children are fine thank you.

*second hand

Sorry you dont approve but it makes me happy finding a bargain! I love that you do this OP I do too...it just makes sense! Sod em the ignorant fools!

Never tell them anything! Don't show them stuff you've bought and if they compliment it, just say 'thanks' rather than start talking about the cost.

I have the opposite with my MIL. Total inverse snobbery about me buying anything new for the kids. I love charity shop bargains, but it's nice to splurge now and again. So I stopped telling her anything.

Thanks @RaspberryCoulis and @Walkingthedog46 Our's had stopped at the beginning but if they're now accepting and quarantining donations, I have lots of bags to drop off.

Tell them you’d like the world to still be a nice place when your babies are in the position of having grandchildren and you don’t want to contribute to waste for the sake of snobbery.