To spend Christmas with in laws ? Are we selfish if we do ?

[questiontime100]

We are a family of three. DH, DD (1 ) and I.

We see my in-laws and their adult children who live at home and work from home occasionally. So they're kind of in our support bubble. MIL has been in hospital due to an operation but got out yesterday.

Would you spend Christmas with them and stay at their house ?

@Cam2020

Which bit of the support bubble regulations do you think you come under OP? It's not clear from your posts

She posted the link and included her child's age in a previous post. Look it up yourself...

I did but if you RTFT you will know we have moved on from that. OP said her child was already 1 when it turns out they are not

If you’re seeing them anyway I’m not sure what the additional risk would be seeing them at xmas.
We have taken exactly the same approach with our MIL who has formed a childcare bubble with us.

I'm not seeing anyone other than my own household over Christmas and I know many who are making the choice. I am however, as a teacher, dreading the return to work after others have gone for it with their mixing.

When someone posts that their PIL/Ps 65+ are still mixing, or other obese relatives they are told to myob. But that's the at risk group and who are filling the hospitals.

Post about wanting to see relatives who aren't in the risky groups and you get the opposite replies.

OP, there isn't a difference in your usual mixing to what you want to do, the ideal would be that your MIL either takes a test or could wait 10 days after getting out of hospital, but make your own judgement. We'd have to exclude my 64 year old Sister to fully stick to the rules. She is already seeing a psychiatrist and is having increasing falls, so we aren't going to. We've all had Covid and it was only me (on the shielding list) who needed antibiotics.

@Chemenger, the support bubbles are also for emotional and social support. There's no reason why women of child bearing age should stay isolated.

I think you're very much flexing the support bubble idea to be honest OP. Support means just that- ie for childcare reasons etc. You seem to be using it to provide you with a chance to visit them.

It’s doesn’t mean that actually. It’s different to a childcare bubble where the adults are not allowed to socialise together.
You may disagree with the rules, but OP isn’t actually breaking them, or even bending them.

I didn’t realise 10 year olds were allowed to register on MN.

Your MIL is post surgery.
Recently been in hospital.
Possibly now Covid+
Dick move to go for Christmas but you’re going to do it anyway.

You sound like an immature brat.

Love a good flounce

@thetoughhaveleft, do people going to pubs, nail bars, cinemas, hairdressers, gyms not normally concern you?

A lot of gyms aren't Covid safe, people aren't driving any safer to protect the hospitals, people are having house parties. There's a man who lives by my local closed Labour Club, who has been charging just above Tesco prices for people to drink in his. These are heavy drinkers 50+ with health issues. So no, I wouldn't exclude one not-at-particular-risk family member when I see what's going on around me. We aren't just here to benefit the economy.

@Retiremental

I didn’t realise 10 year olds were allowed to register on MN.

Your MIL is post surgery.
Recently been in hospital.
Possibly now Covid+
Dick move to go for Christmas but you’re going to do it anyway.

You sound like an immature brat.

And you sound very rude!

In answer to your question - No

The reason it does not fall within the rules is because neither of the households has someone living alone. That is the purpose of the rules - to stop people living alone becoming depressed.

Of course, why wouldn't you?!

OMG I can't believe how judgemental people are about us forming a support bubble.

I think

• the stress of Christmas
• the opportunity to be a bona fide busybody
• the protection of being behind a screen

Has brought out the irresistible opportunity for some MNers (about 95% of whom seem to be on this thread) to be absolute wankers of the highest order.

3 households can mix on Christmas Day -unless some TV isn't changed while I was asleep?! - you're mixing 2 households and not breaking the rules. So not sure why some many judgy pricks are spending their Saturday morning whining at you. Haven't they got a Christmas to go and martyr themselves over or something?!

@Ponoka7 yes, they all do and are probably all contributing factors to the repeated closures of school bubbles and infection amongst staff and students. The more careful people are, the more likely it is for schools to stay open. We can't, sadly, have both- despite the views of some on MN.

@Yuppie20

Think people are being pretty dickish on here. Your not breaking the rules so just use your own common sense. Xmas is relaxed for them dates anyway so it's hard to believe that all the judgmental people posting aren't going to see other family too over the holidays.

They really are!!

I had the read the OP several times to check OP hadn't actually said she was meeting 54 people for a ceilidh in the village hall or something.

You'd all love me. I'm mixing with 3 other households for Christmas Day (one is in a support bubble though, the others are additional), my DC are with ExH and he's mixing with 3 households and then I'm picking my niece up on Boxing Day for a sleepover. I'm not sitting in a corner crying at the thought of restrictions being in place next year because of me. Doesn't anyone see that's what the government want - us all blaming each other rather than the utter colossal cock-up they have made here?

If you think "we will be here next year" because OP OBEYED THE RULES then you are a word that I can't actually say because MN will ban me. But use your imagination.

I can’t understand generally why having a baby under one means people need to form a bubble, barring single parents.

@Womencanlift I did but if you RTFT you will know we have moved on from that. OP said her child was already 1 when it turns out they are not

no she didn't. Sounds like she won the cusp on 1 and seeing as people get made fun of here for naming their child's age in months she said 1, like anybody would've.

Anyway stop scrutinising the OP's posts for slip ups it's pathetic

I agree that @Retiremental is exceptionally useful (and wrong)

@Serendipity26

I can’t understand generally why having a baby under one means people need to form a bubble, barring single parents.

Because new mothers are exceptionally vulnerable in a normal year, even more so during a global pandemic that means they're isolated. I'm actually pleased that postnatal women are being recognised and considered for once

OP, posters can be dicks. But really, it's a dickish move to make a "test post" to what, decide whether MN is worthy of your time and attention? I think it will survive without you.

If you were genuinely asking for opinions, then I think you would be fine to have Christmas together. It is within the rules. You are mixing with them anyway so no additional risk.

I don't think that having dinner together with the providers of your childcare bubble is within the spirit of having a childcare bubble in normal times though.

Also it's fine to ask MN a general question like this - otherwise we wouldn't have half the threads we do. Sometimes someone else confirming that you should or shouldn't do something is very reassuring.

That hasn't happened here however. Droves of posters seem to have taken a moment stressing out about their brandy butter to come and pick the OP apart, make her feel bad and tell her she's breaking restrictions when she isn't

@Skipsurvey

the op is being a dick tbh

Are you the one looking for an argument by any chance?

Posters on here are being totally ridiculous and judgmental. You can choose to follow your own, stricter version of the rules if you like, but don't blame OP for wanting to do what she's allowed to do.

As for everyone jumping down her throat because she said her DD was 1 in the OP, for all you know her DD could have had a birthday in the past week. Furthermore, those of you who piled on her for breaking the rules about forming a support bubble and then realised you were wrong are just reverting to 'well you shouldn't have a support bubble anyway' because you don't want to back down. It's pathetic.

@catpoooffender it really is, poor OP.

No one will thank these martyrs for hiking themselves and their families inside their houses screaming whenever post plops into the mat.

I bet half of them are hypocrites anyway

@questiontime100

Let me caveat this by saying they'll be offended if we DONT go. Hahah MIL health is fine. Operation was a day thing. No overnight stay.

I definitely wouldn’t go. It might have been a overnight thing, but she’ll still be recovering from it and the drugs. Can’t they come to you and you host it.

Some people are being very rude op, I think you are within the rules and if you've been seeing them and they are out to work anyway you are unlikely to be posing extra risk to them.