To ask how if I'll ever get over my miscarriage

[YoungScrappyHungry]

I'm completely broken. Had surgical management on Wednesday. No heart beat since 9 weeks, thought I was 12.
It's made worse because DH has four children who I usually adore but I can't be around at the moment, their mum has refused to swap weekends (we have them 40%) so I've come to a family members house, bleeding, crying and alone.

Please tell me this gets better. I don't know if I can do this.

That is what I've read @youngscrappyhungry - 50% at least, and yes, sadly they are mostly abnormalities that are either completely lethal, or are ones which the majority of babies don't survive - like Patau's syndrome for example (trisomy 13) where a few babies are born with the condition but most babies that had it would have already died in the womb.
If you want to know more, I would recommend Lesley Regan's book on recurrent miscarriage - she goes through all the reasons and in the overwhelming majority of cases it's nothing that anyone could have helped. I hope that is some sort of comfort to you.

Ah it is very hard. Having said that though it is possible to recover and you don't have to mourn forever. I've had 4 miscarriages, I don't remember much about the first 3 - due dates and so on. The 4th was a bit further on when he died (almost 10 weeks) and I needed an erpc and we had genetic testing done - he had a chromosomal condition called triploidy and never would have survived. I have an envelope tucked away with my scan pictures in (had an early one for reassurance after the previous mc) and the leaflets about pregnancy loss they gave me. I was a member of a miscarriage support group which helped for a while but I had to leave after a while - there were people who couldn't get over their miscarriages and I didn't want to drown in grief with them. I didn't want to TTC for a long time but almost 2 years later I am pregnant again. You'll know when the time is right to move on, for now just take care