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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU that Love Actually makes me want to poke my eyes out? Light hearted.

249 replies

Mapletreelane · 18/12/2020 18:13

Don't get me wrong, I love a good Christmas flick. But I'm seeing a lot of love on social media for Love Actually. Am I the only one who finds it cringey; it stereotypes Britain as posh and middle class, and Hugh Grant's dancing PM is just....horrendously embarrassing, not funny? It has a wealth of our greatest acting talent who manage to sound unnatural and unfunny. Give me Elf any day (And I am not a Will Ferrell fan). I'm seeing so much love for it and I just cannot see the attraction!

YABU- Get a life. Love Actually is one of the greatest Xmas films ever

YANBU - it is a cringefest akin to nails scraping on a blackboard (for those of you old enough to know what a blackboard is)

OP posts:
MarieIVanArkleStinks · 20/12/2020 11:59

Ah we are back onto Four Weddings! Truly dreadful film. The stereotyping: is there one tired, two-dimensional cardboard cutout of a particular 'representative' it doesn't contain? The classism. The token character with a disability. The token gay dudes (how did we guess it would be a member of THAT particular couple whose funeral we would be attending?) The awful, xenophobic, classist attitude to Americans (and Scots). The shrill women with cattiness tuned to a fine art. The women terrified of impending spinsterhood or lack of sex, or having their unrequited affections rebuffed and taking it very badly! The dated, sexist jokes.

Ugh. 🤮

snowisfallingallaroundus · 20/12/2020 12:08

@VicMackey

It’s awful You are discerning I’d rather sniff anthrax than watch it YANBU

Oooh can you zoom that for Christmas viewing? Xmas Wink

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 20/12/2020 12:19

It is so male-centric - almost all the key characters are males pulling (or just perving on) younger women, except a couple of key female characters who are long-suffering victims who don’t get what they want.

Agreed. But that's Working Title's stock-in-trade. I don't want to bring down a key player in the UK's already diminutive film industry, but really. They don't exactly leave much choice!

When you look at some of the films turned out by Australia, Germany, Scandinavia, France, Russia etc., it's embarrassing. We're much better at TV. And at least the latest fantastic new BBC Pullman adaptations redeem us slightly!

Maigue · 20/12/2020 12:19

@IcedPurple

the lead character played by Andie McDowell, struck me as an utter classless person... just awful....

Andie McDowell is beautiful but she cannot act.

Maybe a better actress could have made something out of that insipid character, but I couldn't see why Hugh Grant was so crazy about her. And were we meant to ignore the fact that she was repeatedly cheating on her Scottish fiance?

Another Richard Curtis issue. He can’t write attractive and interesting female love objects. Not only do we not understand why Hugh Grant is so enthralled by Andie McDowell’s Carrie, we’re baffled when Simon Callow tells him they had a ‘divine’ American on their table for one of the wedding breakfasts (not to mention wondering why the supposedly glamorous international socialite Carrie would invite a whole bunch of total strangers to her wedding, or why a woman we’re supposed to like is marrying a man the film presents as unambiguously smug, rude, and sexist.)

Half the viewers think he should marry Fiona, anyway.

And Julia Roberts’ character in Notting Hill is even worse. She invites Hugh Grant back to her hotel room, only for him to discover her movie star boyfriend there, then six months later shows up at his house upset, shags him,then aggressively blames him for his flatmate tipping off the press about her presence. We’re still supposed to find her lovely.

VicMackey · 20/12/2020 13:19

@snowisfallingallaroundus

Haha - gross exaggeration on my part obviously, I’d rather defrost the freezer or clean the oven though 😅

HerselfIndoors · 20/12/2020 13:59

Yes Carrie in four weddings is just baffling as a love interest, and it's not just because she can't act. Her having a fiance, marrying him and conveniently inviting our hero and all his mates doesn't go along at all with the character she's supposed to be when we meet her. They are such grindingly obvious "plot" devices and RC could have just sat down with a pencil and paper for 10 minutes to make her story and character actually fit with the rest of the cast's, but didn't bother.

In FW, Fiona and Sarah (Laura Linney's character) had the potential to be 3D, fascinating characters brought to the fore to actually explore some interesting women and their dilemmas. But no they are just tragic because fate stopped them getting a man.

I think someone should actually remake Love Actually and 4 weddings with a full sex-reversed cast and characters, it would be so interesting.

Not Notting Hill, that's beyond bothering with. I'd watch the other 2 again for the few great performances but I hate everything about Notting Hill.

HerselfIndoors · 20/12/2020 14:00

Sorry I meant Sarah in Love Actually

SantasAnus · 20/12/2020 14:06

I hate Love Actually.

I only watched it for the first time last year. It is horrible, cringey, not sweet or romantic, it is absolute rubbish. I can't believe people rave about it.

Thewithesarehere · 20/12/2020 14:42

@Nowaynothappening

Don’t think it’s dated well at all. The Keira Knightley storyline is so creepy. Realistically any woman would have told their husband about his creepy sleazy mate straight away.

Always end up feeling sorry for Emma Thompson’s character too. Loved Alan Rickman but he’s a dickhead in that film.

When I watched this movie, I wondered how awful it must have felt to trust your best friend with recording the most memorable event of your life and then find out he fucked it up this way. How must it feel to have no decent record of your own wedding.
Maigue · 20/12/2020 14:51

Can I point out, though, to those who claim LA is ‘dated’, that representing.women as one-dimensional chirpy Cockney birds, slutty secretaries/Americans, stoic housewives, or incomprehensible housemaids with nice bodies, or newly-married women who think it’s flattering when their husband’s best friend shows up to do a one-man unrequited love show (with props) at their house — these things were not ok in 2003, either!

SinkGirl · 20/12/2020 14:52

It just doesn’t enter my radar when considering Christmas films. Bloody awful.

BlueThistles · 20/12/2020 14:59

@IcedPurple

the lead character played by Andie McDowell, struck me as an utter classless person... just awful....

Andie McDowell is beautiful but she cannot act.

Maybe a better actress could have made something out of that insipid character, but I couldn't see why Hugh Grant was so crazy about her. And were we meant to ignore the fact that she was repeatedly cheating on her Scottish fiance?

oh I totally agree... she was horrid to that lovely finance.. over and over.. I struggled with concept of Hugh Grants attraction too... found it so bland... as she was so very unlikable... Xmas Grin
BlueThistles · 20/12/2020 15:02

@HerselfIndoors

Yes Carrie in four weddings is just baffling as a love interest, and it's not just because she can't act. Her having a fiance, marrying him and conveniently inviting our hero and all his mates doesn't go along at all with the character she's supposed to be when we meet her. They are such grindingly obvious "plot" devices and RC could have just sat down with a pencil and paper for 10 minutes to make her story and character actually fit with the rest of the cast's, but didn't bother.

In FW, Fiona and Sarah (Laura Linney's character) had the potential to be 3D, fascinating characters brought to the fore to actually explore some interesting women and their dilemmas. But no they are just tragic because fate stopped them getting a man.

I think someone should actually remake Love Actually and 4 weddings with a full sex-reversed cast and characters, it would be so interesting.

Not Notting Hill, that's beyond bothering with. I'd watch the other 2 again for the few great performances but I hate everything about Notting Hill.

Yip... to all of this... Xmas Smile
Maigue · 20/12/2020 15:02

The ‘pompous landowning politician Dad’ fiancé is carefully constructed to be so thoroughly awful that no one actually worries about him, though — but it does leave you wondering what Carrie, whom we’re supposed to find ‘adorable’, thinks she’s doing marrying the twit in the first place.

HopeTheHeraldAngelsSing · 20/12/2020 15:56

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

Clawdy · 20/12/2020 16:09

The withesarehere that video is not the official wedding video, the official one was spoilt, and then KK remembered she had seen his friend filming. Nobody else was meant to see the video, but KK called unexpectedly and asked to see it, as they now didn't have a video. He was mortified.

BaconAndAvocado · 20/12/2020 16:11

YANBU
The only good thread in LA is the Emma Thompsn one. It always breaks my heart when she open the present.

carltongirl · 20/12/2020 16:12

Rewatched with teens and had to.turn it off. Shame as some stories are great, but the porn couple and the guy who goes.on holiday to find women, were just so crass and embarrassing. Yet Emma T is great and the mental illness sibling story is beautiful. We have given it up and returned to Nativity.

Isitrainingihadntnoticed · 20/12/2020 16:23

This chaps Kiera knightly impression in Love Actually is spot on! Xx

vm.tiktok.com/ZSnkHYeH/

ChestnutStuffing · 20/12/2020 16:26

@whatToDoHerre

Most of the stories in Love Actually are not heart warming at all, they're actually quite sad or problematic.
I would agree that many of them are sad, but I'm not sure why they shouldn't be. I don't generally like romantic comedies, I think one of the things that is more appealing about LA is that it isn't all happy.

I don't know that I believe in "problematic" films, at least unless the problem is actually just that it's untruthful.

Are there a number of older men with younger women without the opposite also being true - yeah. Is that a problem - well, maybe, but not really one the filmmaker devised IMO, it's pretty much my observation that the former outnumber the latter by a good bit. Does the Alan Rickman character make a big stupid selfish hurtful mistake, even though we rather like him otherwise? Does his wife try and carry on anyway? Is that a problem? A problem for them, yes, but again, not an unusual one.

IcedPurple · 20/12/2020 16:28

[quote Isitrainingihadntnoticed]This chaps Kiera knightly impression in Love Actually is spot on! Xx

vm.tiktok.com/ZSnkHYeH/[/quote]
Very good!

He's even got The Chin Thing down pat!

Brefugee · 20/12/2020 16:44

I love it. It has one or two cringe bits but i think a lot of the criticism is a stretch and projecting their own ideas/relationships.

The boss/subordinate ones:
Alan Rickman's character/Mia - she drives that. She comes on to him a LOT and he, weak man who is maybe in a bit of a rut in his marriage falls for it. She doesn't even have to "put out" and she gets a 250 quid gold necklace?

Colin Firth/Aurelia - she is his cleaner, they both clearly like each other and can't communicate. They both, when their professional relationship ends, learn the other's language in the hope they'll meet again. It is actually quite sweet.

Prime minister/Martine McC - He is the prime minister, he notices RIGHT AWAY that he fancies her. He talks to her because he can't help himself and then when she behaves inappropriately (under pressure that is totally understandable) with the President of the US has her moved away to somewhere else. She then contacts him - and he doesn't even get his policeman to dig out her address, he goes door to door in the hope of finding her. The age difference is quite big, she's a grown up woman who isn't afraid to ask her ex-boss to be her boyfriend.
I swear pretty much in the way she does sometimes, she's a pottymouth. What of it? She seems to swear when she's a bit flustered - maybe she fancied him at first sight too, and then he turns up at her house and she gets flustered and swears again. (or maybe that's just how she talks since i think the coat thing is just as they open the door?)

Alan Rickman/Emma Thompson - their love is suffering under his work and her picking up all the slack at home (or so it looks). Does she stay for the children? for her reputation? for ease of just carrying on? because she loves him? who knows, but i think it is a very accurate portrait of a marriage and that scene with her in the bedroom is stunning in its simplicity and effectiveness.

Sex pest Colin - he goes to America to get laid, gets picked up in a bar by 3 attractive women who take him home to have sex with them and another woman. He is inappropriate to all the British women he talks to - who all block him, turn away and don't engage. I don't actually see the problem, haven't we all encountered people like that?

Andrew Lincoln/Kiera Knightley - he is being creepy, and he is telling his best mate's wife that he loves her. Although he does seem to work through it and she does seem to understand how he feels. It is weird but, again, there are people who experience exactly that. He doesn't pester her for sex, or talk to her all the time (that we see) and seems genuinely conflicted that he loves his best mate's wife. And walks away in the end with "enough". I can't get worked up about that given how it ends.

Liam Neeson - well, he is just such a tragic character, but really: what does he do for a living? (come to that, what does Alan Rickman's firm do?)

Laura Linney - sacrifices her own happiness to look out for her brother. That is sad and i wish she had someone in her life to look out for her and say "you can be happy too"

Stand-in actors - how can anyone see anything in this story line but the faint ridiculousness of their situation, simulating sex - not even as the actors - and talking about the awful traffic on the B29 or whatever it was. And him asking her out for a drink, and then that bit on her doorstep. How is that offending anyone or miyoginistic?

i may have been thinking about this a bit too much. But sure, everyone wants to moan about a mainstream feel-good movie because they're far too cool for it.

kursaalflyer · 20/12/2020 16:44

Out of the three of them I like Notting Hill the best apart from the schmaltzy ending because Elvis Costello's version of She is so brilliant. And Spike and Honey are great characters, Hope they went on to get married!

IcedPurple · 20/12/2020 16:53

Prime minister/Martine McC - He is the prime minister, he notices RIGHT AWAY that he fancies her. He talks to her because he can't help himself and then when she behaves inappropriately (under pressure that is totally understandable) with the President of the US has her moved away to somewhere else.

Anyone ruthless enough to become PM isn't going to waste time worrying about the feelings of a humble tea lady, no matter how much you fancy her. Much less turn up at her house at night with his full security detail. And yes, I know, it's only a film, but the other story-lines at least attempted to be semi-realistic. This one was just ridiculous.

Colin Firth/Aurelia - she is his cleaner, they both clearly like each other and can't communicate. They both, when their professional relationship ends, learn the other's language in the hope they'll meet again. It is actually quite sweet.

I don't think that's sweet. As well as being yet another of the storylines focussing on older men getting it on with much younger, much lower status women, how can you 'clearly like' someone when you've never had a single conversation? Fancy them, sure. But 'like' them? How?

Sex pest Colin - he goes to America to get laid, gets picked up in a bar by 3 attractive women who take him home to have sex with them and another woman. He is inappropriate to all the British women he talks to - who all block him, turn away and don't engage. I don't actually see the problem, haven't we all encountered people like that?

But hot American women are so dumb and so entranced by his banal accent that they'll drop their knickers in synch for him?

Brefugee · 20/12/2020 17:00

Anyone else think that Andrew Lincoln was secretly in love with his friend not KK?

It is made explicitly clear that he isn't because the Laura Linney character asks him. And then we see the video bit and he admits that he loves Kiera Knightley's character.

I don't know why everyone gets all incensed at "but of CORUSE it's the woman looking after her sick brother" and "of COURSE it's the male boss stupping his secretary" - if they had gone the other way round everyone would be saying "meh - it's women who are the carers" etc etc.

It's just a silly film with a few silly portrayals of lust but some other rather good portrayals of the different types of love.