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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pregnancy Announcement

101 replies

Barmyfarmy · 18/12/2020 14:13

I've just found out I'm pregnant again! This will be my fifth child- quite unexpected but a very happy surprise.

I've never done big announcements with babies before but as I'm 11, nearly 12 weeks gone I'm ready to let people know. Thinking of announcing it on Christmas day, we have a group video call thing set up with my parents, Dh's parents and lots of family so it's an ideal time to tell them.

Any ideas as to how? I was thinking holding up a babygrow or something but DS4 is 10 months old so it might be a bit confusing. No bump yet either.

My issue is my SIL told me yesterday that she's going to be announcing her moving in with her boyfriend on Christmas during the call and I don't want to step on toes or ruin their news. I know she'll be thrilled for us but this is her first bit of big news as all her siblings are married and have babies.

YABU= Announce on Christmas day, SIL won't mind
YANBU=Announce seperately, SIL will mind

OP posts:
oiwotaluvlyday · 18/12/2020 15:34

If you already have 4 children family are unlikely to be surprised/interested/ excited, more likely to think "Oh she's pregnant AGAIN" so I'd forget the big announcement completely (speaking from experience}. SIL will definitely mind.

Maireas · 18/12/2020 15:34

Oh, and good luck with having babies so close together! It's tough, but they'll be companions.

Chloemol · 18/12/2020 15:40

I like Foxys idea

NotPrude · 18/12/2020 15:41

Even though simply moving in together isn't exactly big news, I think it's really considerate of you to appreciate this is big for your SIL and to let her have the limelight on Christmas Day.

ErickBroch · 18/12/2020 15:41

I mean IDK why you would announce moving in with someone, personally, but she has already told you her plan so it would steal her 'moment'. If you like her I would just let her get on with it and then do your own announcement another day. NYE perhaps?

SpaceOp · 18/12/2020 15:44

Don't steal SIL's thunder (although moving in announcement is odd).

Also, don't announce on Christmas because am I the only one who thinks that you might not get universally positive feedback and that's just going to ruin Christmas? I'v seen enough threads on here from people with more than 3 children that the news is not always greeted enthusiastically!

DreamyDreamer333 · 18/12/2020 15:47

Moving in with a boyfriend isn't in the same league as a pregnancy. I can't believe she's announcing it. Is she a bit of a princess?

MaelyssQ · 18/12/2020 15:48

I would put an 'I'm going to be a big brother!' top on your youngest child and see if anyone notices.

Pregnancy Announcement
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 18/12/2020 15:48

I wouldn’t do it Christmas Day either, let everyone just enjoy the day.

As others have said, people may not react the way you want them too.

AudTheDeepAndCrispAndEven · 18/12/2020 15:49

I sent my Mum a calendar for Christmas with family photos for each month. On the month I was due I put a photo of the pee stick captioned 'baby no three due this month'! Went down a storm!

HappyChristmasTreeRex · 18/12/2020 15:50

I don't think either of you should announce on Christmas day. Just let Christmas be Christmas, then you can both announce your news on Boxing Day. Congratulations either way.

ivfbeenbusy · 18/12/2020 15:50

It's your 5th not your 1st so I'd let SIL have her moment first - it's obviously important to her even if it's not that exciting

RollneckJumper · 18/12/2020 15:53

Another vote for letting your SIL have Christmas Day, and announcing your news over New Years instead.

DelphineWalsh · 18/12/2020 15:53

I'm not sure moving in with boyfriend is announcement worthy but if she's already told you ahead of time that she wants to do her big reveal on the Christmas day call then it would be a little mean to steal her thunder. Wait till New Years and then you can explain the not drinking to celebrate thing.

Calmandmeasured1 · 18/12/2020 15:54

Are either of these things worthy of an announcement? Can't you just phone yours and your partner's parents and let them know you are pregnant and then text others? (I'd understand if you'd been struggling to conceive but not your 5th child. Just tell them, don"t announce it).

I can't get my head around your SIL needing to make an announcement about moving in with her bf but, hey ho, if that's so important to her, let her have her moment.

sadie9 · 18/12/2020 15:55

I'd wait until you are the full 12 weeks.
People may not react in the big crowd like you want. The subject might move off you pretty quick, just because there will be so many people on the call.
The grandparents might appreciate being told on their own so they can enjoy the moment with you.
You might get more enjoyment out of it by telling people in smaller batches so to speak.

HitthatroadJack · 18/12/2020 15:55

Doesn't matter if SIL will mind or not, just let her have her moment. She sounds nice, it won't make a difference to wait a week or so. New Year is a good idea.

Sunshineandflipflops · 18/12/2020 15:57

@oiwotaluvlyday

If you already have 4 children family are unlikely to be surprised/interested/ excited, more likely to think "Oh she's pregnant AGAIN" so I'd forget the big announcement completely (speaking from experience}. SIL will definitely mind.
I have to say, I agree with this.

I don't think I'd find either announcement that exciting to be honest.

Not that it's not lovely news for you (congratulations) but I stop getting that surprised or excited about other people after pregnancy number 2!

Isitbedtimeyet4 · 18/12/2020 15:59

SIL might not mind but I’d still let her have it anyway if this is her first big news, and then organise another call maybe on New Years and announce yours?

Congrats OP and it’s really lovely of you to consider SILs news, all the best with you announcement and pregnancy!

UniversalAunt · 18/12/2020 16:03

Think Meghan at Eugenie’s wedding... so just don’t on Christmas Day.
Your news can wait until the New Year & be a lovely start to 2021.

Sally872 · 18/12/2020 16:09

I wouldn't announce anything at the same time as anyone else. SIL may not mind but it still changes the conversation from her big news onto your bigger news.

InTheDrunkTank · 18/12/2020 16:10

I'd do it for new years or in a separate call. I think it's hard on sil being younger every announcement she makes will have been made loads of times before so nice to let her have this one all for her. Then when you do announce there'll be more excitement for you too.

SeasonFinale · 18/12/2020 16:12

You may get a different reaction than you expect to announcing a 5th pregnancy when you already have a 10 month old. I agree that a message at NYE may be more sensible.

ChocolateSantaisthebestkind · 18/12/2020 16:13

For baby # 5 let SIL have the big moment. Also, I don't like big announcements due infertility experience. I am very lucky to have 2 kids now, thanks to IVF and my heart would not have stood a pregnant announcement on Christmas day, which is a day where the focus is on children for a lot of people in the dark days. I wish you a healthy and happy pregnancy!

JillofTrades · 18/12/2020 16:14

You say you've never done "big announcements" before for the previous four pregnancies, so the fact you have decided you must do it this time just stinks of stealing her thunder.

Agree and its definitely going to look like this.