To think covid has made some people lose empathy?

[LydiaMcadamand]

I see plenty of threads in which an individual is looking for support.
And this could include wanting to see their partner, wanting to see family on christmas etc.
And these always include comments from other people who instantly state about the 'rulez'.

Why have some people lost so much empathy that they get angry at the fact somebody wants to see their partner and stay the night? Why do some people get angry at the fact people actually want to see family over christmas?

Why have we become a society that normalises telling people they can't visit their parents, grandparents etc.
Is this not choice of each family what their boundaries are?

I find it sad that people are belittled and shouted at for wanting to have celebrations with their family at christmas.

God forbid a parent wants 4 of their adult children around with their partners for christmas dinner.

What a sad time we live in.

Not applicable in all cases but j think there is a subculture of people who were naturally bitter or without many social engagements before covid.

Precovid, they just had to silently range against the world and feel left out.

Covid and lockdown was great for them because suddenly everyone was in the same situation.

Now as things return to a restricted sense of normality, they use covid as a pretext to lash out at people who have more options than them.

Let people decide and risk assess!

^ this is the problem! How many of these people who have risk assessed and decided for themselves will then go to the supermarket, a doctors appointment, a hair appointment, to school.
Your decision will impact others. Your choice to break the rules will impact all those you come into contact with.
If you go and spend the night with your partner then go and teach a class for the next week then you are making your choice theirs.

Why don't people understand this!

It's absolutely ridiculous people feel the right to have a go at somebody for seeing family.

What right do you have to be angry at someone for wanting to see family and friends?

And yes missing family does give you a right to see them.

OP, you talk of rights quite a lot. No mention of responsibilities. You cannot have rights without responsibilities.

People shouldn't be angry at people wanting to see family...

As other posters explained, this is not why people are angry.

People are angry because others are making choices that facilitate the spread of the virus -- and claiming that it's a personal choice does not change the fact that every one of those "personal choices" increases community spread.

@squiddybear so you naturally judge that everybody must be thick and stupid to not risk assess themselves?
Of course there will be a percentage of people who will go too far and have wild parties etc. but that will always be the case.
But i'm sure the average person can risk assess the situation themselves.

This isn't what I thought it was. This isn't about empathy. This is about trying to keep as many people as possible safe and alive until we can get rid of this thing!

I was about to say I have never met such selfish and ignorant people in my life before the first lockdown never mind that we had key workers, elderly and sick people in our community.

and i think a lot of the country would like it if you didn't police what others were doing, thank you very much.

Yes that’s lovely, feel free to be cross with me.

Now can you please, please just think about how ‘what others are doing’ might affect the rest of us?

I know some people will need to see loved ones over Christmas, I don’t judge them for that. But if you could at least please try to understand the benefit of sticking to the guidance to minimise the spread of the virus, rather than getting huffy about ‘rulez’, it would go a long way to feeling like people weren’t shouting at you.

Is this not choice of each family what their boundaries are?

In a word, no, because we live as part of a wider society, and one family's choices are likely to have a direct impact on other people.

I don't feel anything other than empathy and compassion for people who are struggling with this awful situation. However, I have no sympathy at all for those who recklessly decide to put others at rush because they are finding things hard.

@Calmandmeasured1 yes i'm sure someone who has lost their job and income is currently thinking "at least i'm responsible staying home".

@AlexaShutUp well luckily we live in a country where most people have the right to make choices for themselves.

And it's not reckless to see family.

@LydiaMcadamand you still don't get it. Your risk assessment will impact others.
For example my family asked me to go for a meal with them. I refused as I work in an education environment. Then by the next week 2/4 had tested positive. Now I could risk assess and think well there would only have been 2 households, we were in a covid secure environment so risk was realistically low. However this has shown you don't know that for certain.
If I had gone to that meal and then taught your child how would you have felt? Would you have been happy when your child was sent home to isolate for 14 days?

And yes missing family does give you a right to see them.

It really doesn't

Fear, consciously or unconsciously drives a lot of people. I think regardless of what's going on if we all acknowledged that it might not be the way I/you do it everyone is doing the best they can given their personal circumstance. It doesn't help to judge others because they're behaving in a way someone else disagrees with. None of us knows what a person is dealing with behind the scenes, people can do and say strange things but I still think we are all doing our best.

I don't think most people are unsympathetic to how difficult the situation is for people not being able to see family etc but we're all in the same boat. I'm slightly fatigued with hearing about how shit it all is and people arguing over who has priority or is most hard done by. I know, I'm living through it too and just trying to focus on the positives and the future.

I can't control what other people do and I don't get angry about it but I don't accept that so many people have such special circumstances they are exempt from following the rules. When other people do as they please it affects everyone and that is selfish, if that wasn't the case I'd have no opinion on it. I mind my own business but it is frustrating to see infection rates rising again in so many parts of the country.

You signal your contempt for measures to control the spread of the virus when you call them rules.

@Al1langdownthecleghole well i feel really sad for you that you hold that opinion. Have a good day.

And it's not reckless to see family.

In the current situation, it often is reckless.

And we only have the right to make our own choices in so far as the law allows us to do so. Nobody has the "right" to ignore the current restrictions just because they feel like it.

Because people are scared.

yes i'm sure someone who has lost their job and income is currently thinking "at least i'm responsible staying home".

That would be me. I have lost my job and it's shit, but I still have a sense of social responsibility.

I think this was happening before COVID.
Society is becoming terrifyingly polarised. There is only right and wrong. Those who are "wrong" about COVID, Brexit, trans rights, who they vote for are worthless scum. They're subhuman and undeserving of empathy or to be listened to.
I know it's natural animal behaviour (in group / out group) but it really frightens me.

I agree op. It has brought out the worst in a lot of people.

The phrase "it's because of people like you that we're in this mess" is bandied around by privileged people who live with their partners and families and can isolate without losing any income with no empathy for others who are facing very difficult choices.

We are in this mess because viruses spread from person to person and humans are social animals.

And I'm saying this as someone who lost someone to covid.

Because we’re in a situation where the choices each individual makes affect other people.

Because many people have followed the rules throughout, sacrificing their own time with family and friends. And don’t want that to be extended because grown adults can’t possibly cope with having one Christmas with just their household and not seeing 15 members of extended family. I’m not talking about people who would be alone, but people with partners and children throwing their toys out of the pram at not getting to see other adults who will also not be alone.

I have found the whole thing a real test of the idea of intelligence being defined as the ability to hold two separate ideas in your head and acknowledge both to be true.

1. If we let the virus run the hospitals will be overrun and civil unrest would almost certainly follow, along with dangers of infrastructure collapsing.The overrun hospitals are not because its a particularly deadly virus for most but because of the effect it has on the elderly and our massive ageing population in the west.
2. It is terrible that people can't see their families and that it isn't natural for humans to isolate.it is awful that the economy is suffering and that people are losing jobs and hope.

Some people struggle to hold these two things in their head at once and seek to find black and white answers to a very grey situation. There are no easy, win-win answers, each option is deeply unpleasant and destructive and will cause misery,it is a matter of nature and degree. I think that's why there is a rise in disbelief in the virus as some people simply cannot comprehend the above and so choose to believe it doesn't exist.

You seriously need to ask why? Why?
66,052 people dead, that's why.

AIBU has always been thus. And many ppl are hypocrities, preaching on her and doing the opposite in RL.

I love my family and I desperately want to see them. But I couldn’t live with myself if they became ill after seeing us. I don’t want my children to live with that either. It isn’t ideal and it will be very different to what we are used to but we will make the best of it, all of us, and still have a wonderful day.

And to be honest, I am looking forward to spending Christmas with just us because although I adore my wider family, I also love my husband and children and feel lucky that I have them when others aren’t as fortunate.

A perfect example. What do you think posting that achieves other than a chance for you to be sanctimonious? Well done you for not just following the rules, as am I, but feeling lovely about it. You definitely win the award for being a better person than me because I feel sad and low about it whereas you're Polly fucking Anna. Congratulations.