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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He didn’t even offer me a cuppa.

111 replies

Coffeeeeandcake · 15/12/2020 20:16

My boyfriend got home early from work today. Spent the day on the sofa playing on his iPad whilst I was WFH in the same room. He did not, even once offer me a cuppa. Am I being unreasonable to be cross.

YABU get your own cuppa.

YANBU to be cross and I should stop making him a cuppa every single morning before work.

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 15/12/2020 20:53

You’ve got it all wrong, sorry.

The first person up makes the tea.
For the rest of the day you only make someone else a cup of tea when you make yourself one.

PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe · 15/12/2020 20:56

[quote PolPotNoodle]@livefornaps I don't think he's offering to shag you as it goes. What an odd comment.

OP I don't see why he should offer you one unless he was making himself a hot drink. Coming home early from work doesn't make you the tea bitch.[/quote]
😂

billy1966 · 15/12/2020 20:58

You get up 40 minutes earlier in the morning to make him coffee😳.

RB68 · 15/12/2020 21:00

Just tell him any sex is proportionate to how much looking after you he does in the day - you will end up with a three course lunch and 100 oclocksies and 3oclocksies ROFL oh and tea on the hour every hour

TillyTopper · 15/12/2020 21:01

You seem to be storing up so much resentment! Either ask him to do something or have a chat with him.

Toilenstripes · 15/12/2020 21:02

I did a revolutionary thing today. I Asked my DH to make me a hot chocolate. And he was happy to oblige.

efes · 15/12/2020 21:03

@Coffeeeeandcake

Sorry, to clarify.. he leaves 40 minutes before I would need to get up. But I get up to make him a cuppa Grin
More fool you!
onlythepianoplayer · 15/12/2020 21:03

yabvu to keep saying "cuppa"

amisupposedtoeat · 15/12/2020 21:06

Getting up early to make his tea, doing dishes while he slobs around. He doesn't need to do anything, he has his woman to perform.

Yabvu to call it a cuppa

donquixotedelamancha · 15/12/2020 21:06

Use your words and ask him.

You must be new here. I think you mean she should leave the bastard.

We don't communicate needs to our loved ones, we are incandescent with rage. This is the way.

ohwhatamiserableyear · 15/12/2020 21:10

You give up precious sleep to make him tea in the mornings! WTF? Can he not operate a kettle?

yetanothernamitynamechange · 15/12/2020 21:14

Net time, you look at your keyboard in confusion and ask "partner dear, what letter comes after S in the alphabet?" DP: "T" You "oh yes please, thanks so much." Problem solved.

Crustmasiscoming · 15/12/2020 21:14

If he didn't make himself one then why on earth would he have made you one? He can't magically know that you want a cup of tea. Stop being a martyr and just ask him to make you one.

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/12/2020 21:19

I don't think it's necessarily martyrish to get up early to make someone else a cuppa - it can be a nice way to share challenges where one person is doing something that's not that nice and the other helps make it pleasanter.

And yes that sort of support should be a two way street.

But did he know you were sitting in your office wishing he would bring you a cup of tea? because I don't think it's nearly as obvious a situation.

Luckyrabbitfoot · 15/12/2020 21:23

@onlythepianoplayer

yabvu to keep saying "cuppa"
Ha I feel the same. It’s still preferable to BREW though. Bleurgh.
WhySoSensitive · 15/12/2020 21:25

I came to say YABU and I literally couldn’t get worked up about this if I tried

And then...

You said he didn’t even make himself one. So even MORE, YABU.

Make it yourself if you’re so bothered or go crazy and ask him to make you one.

viques · 15/12/2020 21:26

Ex Lancashire girl here. That isn’t a hot pot, it’s a pie. A hot pot has sliced potatoes on top.

viques · 15/12/2020 21:27

@viques

Ex Lancashire girl here. That isn’t a hot pot, it’s a pie. A hot pot has sliced potatoes on top.
Sorry, this should be on the master chef thread! Multi tasking.......
Luckyrabbitfoot · 15/12/2020 21:28

@livefornaps

Is he also crap in bed? He sounds like a particularly undynamic sloth. I wouldn't want to shag him anyway.
Haha WHAT? How can you say that because he didn’t make her a tea...and didn’t make one for himself either.

MN is absolutely bonkers sometimes.

Original poster
Coffeeeeandcake · 15/12/2020 21:31

All comments duly noted.

Sorry about using ‘cuppa’ for all those who have been traumatised by it Blush

Finally, he isn’t at all selfish or terrible in bed. He’s quite amazing Grin

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 15/12/2020 21:31

I think he could of offered you a cuppa ,

IMNOTSHOUTING · 15/12/2020 21:32

@Coffeeeeandcake

Sorry, to clarify.. he leaves 40 minutes before I would need to get up. But I get up to make him a cuppa Grin
Surely you actually get up because you don't mind being up earlier and enjoy chatting to him before work? If you actually get out of bed 40 minutes earlier than you'd like to perform a 2 minute task he could easily do himself you're barmy!
Butchyrestingface · 15/12/2020 21:32

I'd be more irritated by him playing on his iPad whilst I was working in the same room. 🤷‍♀️

CatholicKidston · 15/12/2020 21:35

Next time try bellowing 'I'm so thirsty if only someone would make me a cup of tea'

Jenstar123 · 15/12/2020 21:36

Hopefully your DP wasn’t being thoughtless on purpose....sometimes they just need a nudge in the right direction. You should have said something like “Ooh great since your home early you can do the washing up today” and while he was in the kitchen he would have probably put the kettle on and you would have got your cuppa, win win! Wink If however he NEVER makes you a drink or pulls his weight around the house then that is an issue.