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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He didn’t even offer me a cuppa.

111 replies

Coffeeeeandcake · 15/12/2020 20:16

My boyfriend got home early from work today. Spent the day on the sofa playing on his iPad whilst I was WFH in the same room. He did not, even once offer me a cuppa. Am I being unreasonable to be cross.

YABU get your own cuppa.

YANBU to be cross and I should stop making him a cuppa every single morning before work.

OP posts:
Whatisapension · 15/12/2020 20:27

Maybe he’s just having an off day?

CoronaIsWatching · 15/12/2020 20:28

Making a cup of tea is the easiest simplest task in the world and tastes like dishwater most of the time anyway. I don't know why people get so precious about it

snookercue · 15/12/2020 20:28

But he also didn’t make himself one to be fair.

Oh for goodness sake. You are being ridiculous.

MrsPworkingmummy · 15/12/2020 20:29

Yanbu in my opinion. My husband would, undoubtedly, make me a cuppa and lunch etc. I'd do the same for him too x

CanofCant · 15/12/2020 20:29

Do you get up almost an hour early solely to make him a cup of tea? Don't do the dishes on your lunch either if you will resent it.

Dishwashersaurous · 15/12/2020 20:31

I’m really impressed that you manage to wfh with someone else in the room

Norwester · 15/12/2020 20:31

If this is a one-off, you need to chill.

Stop doing housework like a martyr. If you want him to get off the sofa and pull his weight, then tell him. And how does it take you 40 mins to make an extra cup of tea?

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/12/2020 20:32

I’m not getting up 40 minutes earlier than I need to get up to make him a cuppa ever again though. That ship has sailed

40 minutes!? Are you growing the tea leaves and milking the cow yourself?

tenterden · 15/12/2020 20:32

I just don't get this at all.

If I were in that situation I would just be all theatrical "Must.Have.Tea" and holding my throat, gasping, in Dh general direction. If he ignored that I would be miffed.

But you just sat there? Confused

MrDarcyismines · 15/12/2020 20:36

He didn't make himself one though.

Why do you need to get up 40mins early to make him a cuppa? It takes all of 2mins. You're probably up making yourself breakfast and Tea anyway?

PawPawNoodle · 15/12/2020 20:37

@Coffeeeeandcake ahh definitely don't bother with that. He's had a good run. Don't say it was because of todays lack of tea-bitching because that'd be a bit petty.

@livefornaps I think his lack of 'get up and go' is more to do with his inability to read OPs mind that she'd quite like a brew really. I hope Mr. Livefornaps isn't shrivelling up at the fact you're currently stuck to your device right now!

UnseenDoreen · 15/12/2020 20:37

You two do not seem to be able to communicate at all. I'd hate to be dating either of you.

EggNogPegg · 15/12/2020 20:39

Here's a grip. You seem to have lost yours.

He didn’t even offer me a cuppa.
category12 · 15/12/2020 20:39

Why on earth do you get up early especially to make him a cup of tea? How bizarre.

UnseenDoreen · 15/12/2020 20:42

@category12

Why on earth do you get up early especially to make him a cup of tea? How bizarre.
Must be quite the cup of tea if it takes 40 minutes to make! Fresh milk maybe, from a local cow.
NoddyWithAVoddy · 15/12/2020 20:43

I wouldn't even think to ask someone if they wanted a drink if I wasn't making one for myself, unless it's a visitor.
You're being v.v.u op.

livefornaps · 15/12/2020 20:43

@PolPotNoodle Grin

Original poster
Coffeeeeandcake · 15/12/2020 20:44

Sorry, to clarify.. he leaves 40 minutes before I would need to get up. But I get up to make him a cuppa Grin

OP posts:
Candyfloss99 · 15/12/2020 20:48

YABU getting up 40 minutes early just to make him a cup of tea!!! How does he let you do this? Surely any reasonable person would think that's madness.

category12 · 15/12/2020 20:48

But why?

The person who gets up earliest makes the one who's still in bed a cup of tea. That's the rule.

You've got it all wrong.

WotWouldCJDo · 15/12/2020 20:48

If you start looking for problems, you will find them.

tenterden · 15/12/2020 20:48

@Coffeeeeandcake

Sorry, to clarify.. he leaves 40 minutes before I would need to get up. But I get up to make him a cuppa Grin
Why? Again your posts smack of martyrdom....
Norwester · 15/12/2020 20:49

Getting up 40 minutes early to get his cuppa ready is very sweet, one of those cute things you do for each other at the very beginning. Assuming he is putting himself out for you in the same way. Cuz if he's not, you're setting yourself as his doormat.

You can stop with the morning tea now and continue as you mean to go on.

MrDarcyismines · 15/12/2020 20:50

You don't need to be doing that Op.

As for the washing up on your break, he should have done that. If you were in the office you would not have been able to.

ifonly4 · 15/12/2020 20:50

I'm normally home from work around 3pm. DH now works from home all day and a couple of times a week will come out of his new study around that time saying he's putting the kettle on, would I like a drink? I feel like your lazy other half now as I'll sit there and drink it while he goes back to work. Hang on though, who washed the clothes first thing, cut the shrubs back the other day, did the food shopping on way home and will cook tea - yes, that's me, so I don't feel guilty.