A friend said I am chubby

[Newmummmm]

I have nc for this.

So, just been out for a walk with my friend and she's one of those friends that tells it how it is. She's very open and honest about things and it's one of my favourite traits about her. We were having a good old chat about life etc and then I told her how I was on a diet as I'm trying to lose about 7 pounds. We spoke about it for a bit and then I asked her "Be honest, do you think I'm fat?" and she replied "No, your definitely not fat, just a little chubby". I want to point out, I'm not offended in anyway, I wouldn't of asked her otherwise because I knew she'd be honest and I also know I need to lose weight, hence me on a diet. But, is she trying to be a little polite by saying that? Is chubby just a nicer way of putting it?

I really wouldn't appreciate a friend asking me if she was fat.

You have a mirror, you have scales, you have eyes. Why make your friend feel awkward?

You wouldn't be going on a diet if you didn't think you were overweight, so what's wrong with your 'open and honest' friend saying 'chubby' ? What would you have preferred her to say ?

Think it was a bit unfair of you to ask this question (you know you want to lose weight what was the point t in question?)

I would have lied, but I would have felt awkward. You appreciate your friends honesty and you asked a really unfair question. I can't see how she could have answered any better, honest and polite.

Don't ask questions that you don’t want to hear the answers to

YABU

You knew she was a “say it like it is” person, you said you want to lose weight, you asked her a question and then got upset when she answered truthfully.

Don’t ask the question unless you’re prepared to accept the answer

Some fatties have toned bodies that are rock hard and solid. Some skinnies have loose skin or low muscle tone

This is true about skinnies but I don't see how it can possibly be true of fat people. Yes you can be fat and strong or flexible, but fat people, by definition, have a lot of excess fat on their bodies which means that they don't have rock hard bodies. Any toned or hard muscle is surely under layers of fat?

But, is she trying to be a little polite by saying that? Is chubby just a nicer way of putting it?

If she's so open and honest, why are you asking Mumsnet instead of her? We're not psychic here 🤷‍♀️

@immortalstone

Some fatties have toned bodies that are rock hard and solid. Some skinnies have loose skin or low muscle tone

This is true about skinnies but I don't see how it can possibly be true of fat people. Yes you can be fat and strong or flexible, but fat people, by definition, have a lot of excess fat on their bodies which means that they don't have rock hard bodies. Any toned or hard muscle is surely under layers of fat?

There's YouTuber called Trisha Paytas that is fat but solid, just as the PP was describing. Her BMI would probably be in the obese territory but she looks to be weirdly firm, not jiggly like you'd expect.

Fatty? Skinny? Really?

‘Tells it like it is’ equals rude imo.

You like her honesty but not on this?

She sounds awful. In my experience the tell it like it mob are lacking in tact, empathy an manners. Got no time for that shit.

Anyway I'm sure she would tell you if you were fat.

Chubby = overweight = bit fat

It's not exactly a flattering description, but it's not horrid either.

You like her honesty, remember?

@immortalstone

Some fatties have toned bodies that are rock hard and solid. Some skinnies have loose skin or low muscle tone

This is true about skinnies but I don't see how it can possibly be true of fat people. Yes you can be fat and strong or flexible, but fat people, by definition, have a lot of excess fat on their bodies which means that they don't have rock hard bodies. Any toned or hard muscle is surely under layers of fat?

If it is mostly visceral fat they might be. Visceral fat is internal, around your organs and below your muscles and abdominal wall etc. This type of fat can give a hard firm barrel like abdomen and generally doesn’t jiggle.

The wobbly bits are subcutaneous fat. obviously many obese people have both types.

You walked her into that comment knowing that she would be honest with you. There's no way you would have been happy with whatever she answered with.

@Havenly

I despise people who think "telling it like it is" is a positive attribute. To me, they lack emotional intelligence. They probably think being "sassy" is a compliment.

Yes! Better friends tell it like it isn't. Lying is way better than the truth.

I don't understand how you can dislike people telling it like it is, and then say you despise them. Lacking in tact and yet despising those who lack in tact. I imagine you've surrounded yourself with people who don't tell you what they really think of you though, so you probably think you're great

OP, I would think that your friend equates chubby with 'a little bit of harmless extra weight', and fat with 'obese, unpleasant to look at, unhealthy', and was at pains to make sure that although she tells it like it is, she doesn't think there's anything unpleasant about the way you look or treat yourself.

You asked her a question and she answered it honestly. Chubby just means a little bit fat. Dont worry you'll soon lose it.

@HeartShapedBox

If your friend is always honest, then I'd take it as you're a wee bit chubby. She would just outright say yes, you were fat if that was the case, surely?

I don't know. I'm 'always honest' - people say I'm blunt and tactless, but even I wouldn't say 'fat' because it's so drummed into us that it's a nasty thing to say. Just look at what happens on here if someone gives an honest answer of 'yes, you're fat'. So it may well be that her friend meant fat, but said chubby to soften the blow.

Everyone saying OP shouldn’t be upset read what she wrote - she’s not saying she’s offended, she’s wondering if it is likely her friend has tried to soften it by saying chubby.

OP - if you only need to lose 7lbs you’re fine. Chubby sounds quite a harsh description for 7 lbs over ideal weight - Is your friend quite strict about her own weight?

while it is normally rude (and extremely boring) to babble about appearance, in this case you asked for an opinion and you got one.

thank goodness for people like your mate who give straight answers. Too many women hint and hedge, and it is so stupid.

Well you did ask!

"Chubby = overweight. Fat = obese would be my interpretation."

Interesting. To me fat = overweight and chubby = a little bit fat, so a little bit overweight.

"Errr have you got an example of a "fattie" with a "toned rock hard body"?

Cause I'm not buying it"

I'm laughing at this, but maybe the poster means those weight lifters who are overweight by BMI because they're so muscle and not real 'fatties'.

After reading more comments I am more confused.
"Be honest, do you think I'm fat?"

Is the OP saying the word chubby is a nice way of saying fat and she should have just said Yes to the question?
Or is the OP saying chubby is a horrible way saying fat and she should have said a bit over weight or No to the question?

"Chubby sounds quite a harsh description for 7 lbs over ideal weight "

Not really. Chubby means a bit fat or a bit overweight so is a good description for 7 lbs over ideal weight. However, OP has not said that she's 7lbs over the healthy weight range, she might just want to lose 7 lbs as that's her preference. She could be within the healthy range, but think she'd look better if she lost 7lbs or she may be even more overweight and wants to lose 7lbs.