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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to continue my tradition of a Christmas Eve Box?

81 replies

Isitbedtimeyet01 · 15/12/2020 00:20

I know Christmas Eve Box's are a contentious issue on mumsnet but I'm hoping for unbiased opinions anyway.

When I was growing we always got new pjs for Christmas and had a film night before bed. When I had my dd 15 years ago I copied this except I put it in a box. This was before I found mumsnet and realised Christmas Eve Boxs were a thing.

Every year since she was 2 she has had the following:
New pjs
Dressing gown
Slippers
A Christmas dvd
Bath bomb or body wash
Something to drink ie hot chocolate
Something to eat ie a pack of sweets.

All stuff I would buy anyway but In a box and it was a vital part of Christmas eve to help wind her down before bed. When she was younger and was asked what she got for Christmas she would recite the contents of the box. She still she loves this tradition and in recent years has used her own pocket money to make me a Christmas eve box.

DH and I have been together for 8 years and living together for 6 and he doesn't get it and wants us to stop as "its a waste of money". Dd has autism and has said she would rather have no presents chrismas day and keep the Christmas eve box.

AIBU to ignore DH and continue the tradition?

OP posts:

Wallabyone · 15/12/2020 00:24

I would ignore him and carry on x

Raver84 · 15/12/2020 00:26

What on earth does it have to do with him? If its something she enjoys and you were going to buy it all anyway why stop I don't understand...

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 15/12/2020 00:27

Absolutely carry on, its a cute tradition between you and dd. Dirs he get included in the boxes now your dd is doing you one-year? Maybe he's feeling left out, could you get him some new pjs too?

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 15/12/2020 00:28

Excuse the typos (new phone)
Dirs - does
One-year-one too

myhobbyisouting · 15/12/2020 00:33

You already know the answer to this

Original poster

Isitbedtimeyet01 · 15/12/2020 00:38

He has always been anti them, at first I did wonder if it was because he didn't have one so started one for him a couple of years ago but he still grumps about it every year because "he doesn't understand it".

The same conversation has just repeated tonight as DD asked to use my amazon account to order my box stuff.

I don't know if its the autism but its the only night I can guarantee my dd will spend the evening in the livingroom with us without an argument and as far as I am concerned I would continue this until she was 90 for the lovely evening we get (maybe a.slight exaggeration )

OP posts:

afromom · 15/12/2020 00:39

Keep going, DS is 16 and still getting one this year. No DVD anymore as we have Netflix/prime, but pjs, Pringles, chocolate orange and slipper socks remain.
DP always jokes that he will still be having one when he's 35!

Leaannb · 15/12/2020 00:53

Tell Scrooge to get bent. I'm 50 and still look forward to my Christmas Eve box. Fuzzy pj's, hot chocolate with colored marshmallows, a Christmas ornament and a new book.

Gardeniaofdelights · 15/12/2020 01:44

Of course it’s fine but does a 15yo really need a new dressing gown and slippers every year?! What happens to the old ones? They must still have plenty of wear in them?

Boymumzy · 15/12/2020 01:48

He is being unreasonable asking you and your daughter to change a tradition that you started together long before he was even on the scene. YANBU

Ozgirl75 · 15/12/2020 03:25

It’s not something we would do because

They are boys and would not consider pyjamas to be any way exciting
They don’t wear a dressing gown or slippers (Australia)
We stream films
Equally not excited by body wash
Hot chocolate is a normal drink not a treat

But if you’re happy with it and can afford it, why not. It’s hardly hundreds of pounds is it?

FangsForTheMemory · 15/12/2020 03:28

What’s wasteful about it, apart from the sweets and the bath bomb?

Andi2020 · 15/12/2020 03:34

I do it.
Pjs xmas day outfit for midnight mass.
Small toy or book.
It's just giving stuff they need.

dontgobaconmyheart · 15/12/2020 03:39

The two aren't mutually exclusive ; It can be a waste of money and also be something she likes and wants and so is worth forking out for if you are happy to do so. I think there is a strong argument for xmas eve boxes being a terrible waste, ultimately it is just buying a load of things people already have at home which are serviceable in the name of it being christmas eve.

Nobody actually needs new pyjamas, slippers, dressing gown, new hot chocolate, a new dvd etc every christmas eve, they just don't. The spending culture at christmas and of having new things for every occasion overall is pretty toxic.

With that being said I do think your DH is being a little mean here, unless there is more to it ( financial issues, say) then I would carry on as normal with the tradition but certainly I'd seek to edit it down a bit, or ask DD if she would enjoy also putting together a christmas box for a child in need going forward as a matter of balance. A bit late this year but there are plenty of charitable amazon wishlists open, we have just 'donated' items via this method to the local womens/childrens residential refuge, and the local animal rescue. Enjoy your Christmas Eve OP, hopefully you and your DD will still be enjoying whatever traditions continue for some years to come.

FortunesFave · 15/12/2020 03:54

What a petty arsehole.

I hope you didn't bring up stopping it with your DD?

Elvesaremagic · 15/12/2020 04:32

I do find the whole idea embarrassingly trashy and new PJs every year are not needed but if it makes your daughter happy in a way that nothing else will then do it.

maddiemookins16mum · 15/12/2020 05:15

I’m 56. Back ‘in the day’ 🤣🤣, we had a bath on Christmas Eve (even Gawd forbid if it was not a Sunday). We then had new pyjamas to open, cracked opened the mahoosive box of Quality Street (the size of a small car and lasted until mid January) and my Mother (bless her soul) made us a Snowball.
Christmas Eve was always special - it also helped curb our excitement.
To this day, we all open a Christmas Eve present after dinner - it’s just ‘our tradition’. DP has an adult colouring book (of various cats licking their nether regions) and DD has a new paperback Chick Lit type book (she loves these at present). It’s harmless and hurting nobody. I’ll probably get some of those Lindt balls which I’ll scoff all night.

maddiemookins16mum · 15/12/2020 05:18

Just to add (not that I have to), the pyjamas we got were ‘normal’, we probably only had another spare pair in those days. Plus the presents we give are part of the overall presents, not extra iyswim.

BlackCatShadow · 15/12/2020 05:26

I can sort of see his point if you have a dozen barely used dressing gowns and slippers in the cupboard.

We always bake cookies on Christas Eve for Santa. It's defintely not something Ex used to do as a kid, but he never commented on it.

I wonder why it is bothering your DH so much. Is there more to this?

FortunesFave · 15/12/2020 05:39

Elves I find people saying other people's habits are 'trashy' embarrassing.

So there we have it.

TheQueensGambit · 15/12/2020 05:43

Of course you should continue!

I had no idea Christmas Eve Boxes even existed before I read about them on MN, and I still don't know what is even in them. If it's PJs and slippers etc which you'd be buying anyway, I don't get why anyone reasonable would object to them. Different if it's full of useless crap, but pyjamas and slippers, hot chocolate etc are completely inoffensive.

BethlehemIsInTier1 · 15/12/2020 05:53

If it's a waste of money he won't mind missing out on a present this year then so you can continue your family tradition with your DD. I bloody hate miserable men.

Stompythedinosaur · 15/12/2020 07:38

He sounds miserable. The fact that it makes you and your dd happy means it is worth it.

IdblowJonSnow · 15/12/2020 07:56

He doesn't need to get the point of it. It's not for him. What an arsehole. So he actually gets grumpy over this in front of your DD?

The miserable shitty grinch! Tell him to mind his own.

Flvq · 15/12/2020 07:59

If she’s an adult she doesn’t need a new dressing gown and slippers every year.
I’d compromise and just do pjs and the rest of the box.

I can kind of see his point. But I see yours and your dds too so I’d compromise

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