Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it too late for DH to go for a career change to try and earn more? He thinks so

146 replies

NC1012 · 14/12/2020 10:21

DH is early 40s and been working in the public sector for over 15 years. He has enjoyed his job over the years and worked his way up to senior management which is £55k. However he has been saying there is no real opportunities left to go higher, as the jobs are fewer plus the extra responsibility doesn’t reflect the pay.

Several years ago he said a career change might be the way to go to try and get near a 6 figure salary but has been too scared to give it a go. His friends in the private sector have done really well so he occasionally feels he played it too safe when he was younger. Also he fears a risk in career move now may not get him a higher salary plus job security could be a lot less than he has now. He is a likeable person and works hard and is dedicated.

He recently decided it is too late for a career change with a view to get a much higher salary and now it’s as good as it gets. He said he shouldn’t have sat comfortable in his 20s and early 30s.

We have dc1 5 and dc2 2, I am a SAHM so we have zero child care costs and live in a small 3 bed home. We have never been extravagant with money and have enough to live with a few treats now and then, and tbh it would be nice not to always second think about certain purchases.
Also we have been thinking of moving house to get more space but will mean a bigger mortgage for another 25 years.

Is he right and it’s too late for a career change to try and earn more?
Is the risk too great now especially with this year’s pandemic and who knows what the economy will look like next year?
Am I being unreasonable to agree with him?

Some days I think the risk is too great as he is the sole earner at the moment. But sometimes I think he is worth more but not sure he has the confidence to make a substantial career change.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 14/12/2020 10:28

Would it need to be a complete career change? Or would moving from the public sector to private sector but doing something similar help unlock his earning potential? What does he do now and what would he like to do?

I decided to try a career change in my late 40s, I am now 50 and it hasn’t worked out. Nobody wants a 50 year old trainee. In my case I was looking to move into a lower paid field from previously highly paid finance role.

Divebar · 14/12/2020 10:29

I think he could maybe do with discussing it with a career coach and seeing what his transferable skills are. I know someone who moved from a public sector job into a completely unrelated field in a insurance company and has really flown throw several promotions. ( she was very under-utilised in her old public sector role though ). Can any of his private sector friends suggest a role for him or offer an introduction in some way? Having a personal recommendation does go a long way to getting your foot in the door.

Dishwashersaurous · 14/12/2020 10:31

Also, don’t forget pension- adds about £10k onto his salary for equivalent in private sector. And should be more flexible in terms of hours etc

thesandwich · 14/12/2020 10:31

Is he active on LinkedIn? If he is, recruiters may approach him. Networking is key.

Igmum · 14/12/2020 10:33

How old is he? Mid 30s? Of course not but really don't do it just for the money. That's a recipe for disaster. What jobs is he interested in? Good at? Is his experience valued in the labour market? I had to totally retrain from scratch in my 30s. It was great and worked out very well. But it was to a job I knew I would love. At my current level it is also very well paid but it wasn't for many years. Good luck op

SandysMam · 14/12/2020 10:33

I wouldn’t leave the public sector at the moment, a secure job at the minute is worth it’s weight in gold. Could you get a part time job, a few evenings a week or a Saturday? Boost your pot a bit?

Misandrylovescompany · 14/12/2020 10:33

Presumably your household finances will improve in the next couple of years as your kids start school and you go back to work? Perhaps that will free up some scope for him to look at changing jobs while being more flexible in terms of salary?

HopeAndDriftWood · 14/12/2020 10:34

I’ve always been a believer that it’s never too late, but I’d be very cautious right now if I was him... the unemployment rate for the next five years is woeful, and he’d be leaving what is a higher than average salary and a secure job...

Would you be willing to go back to work to offset the loss of job security? Then he’s only got to work out how likely he is to achieve more than £55k in his circumstances - if he has transferable skills, if those jobs are out there right now and if he’d realistically need to drop down and work his way up somewhere new or if he’d be likely to be able to walk into one. His friends may be able to advise if they are in a similar field?

It sounds a lot like he feels he could have done better and that he’s underachieved, and statistically he hasn’t - £55k isn’t a bad salary by any stretch! I’d be careful that you’re not not accidentally reinforcing that view in him by believing he’s worth more. It’s really easy to fall into being defined by your job and your salary, but he is doing well there.

I don’t think I’d do it, personally.

MegaClutterSlut · 14/12/2020 10:34

I don't think its too late for a career change but I would be hesitant to change jobs atm especially if his job is secure with the amount of redundancies going on atm

Hardbackwriter · 14/12/2020 10:35

He recently decided it is too late for a career change with a view to get a much higher salary and now it’s as good as it gets.

I don't really understand this because at his level surely he applies for private sector jobs where he has the necessary skills and that pay more than his current job and either does or doesn't get them? It would be different if he were junior and so considering going back to the bottom in a different but ultimately more lucrative career, but that's not what he's considering, is it?

theleafandnotthetree · 14/12/2020 10:36

If you would like your family income to increase, then the best option is for you to go out to work also surely. If he is reasonably happy in his job, then I would say that salary and taking into account pension, job security etc is not something to be given up lightly. I know I haven't really answered your exact question but you earning also seems the obvious solution surely

SarahFrances89 · 14/12/2020 10:38

I think it’s great he has a good salary at a secure job with people who like and respect him in a field he enjoys, and it’s a shame he seems to be undervaluing himself. Not to be harsh but if I was you I would 100% be starting work again myself before I encouraged him to make a risky move in this climate.

Sexnotgender · 14/12/2020 10:40

Why does it need to be a career change? Can he not do something similar in a different sector?

What type of role is he in? Senior management is very vague.

Also your kids will be at school in a few years, are you going back to work?

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 14/12/2020 10:40

In normal years yes, I would say go for a new job. This year - not a chance in hell. Stick to your secure job with years of service behind you! If he gets made redundant from a new job he’ll get nothing.

If you’re so desperate for more money, what’s your own earning potential?

TweeBree · 14/12/2020 10:41

Is he happy in the role? I wouldn't leave solely for cash if you have a comfortable life. Also, you'll be able to work in a few years and can add to the pot.

WoolyMammoth55 · 14/12/2020 10:42

Hi OP, I'm no expert but my DH is self-employed and we are financially screwed for the forseeable due to covid...

So I'd definitely agree with PPs that a secure £55K at this point in the global covid crisis is worth holding onto.

What I do think is that in 3-4 years your family situation will be different - you might be ready to go back into some earning capacity yourself to buffer things if he's ready by then to take a punt.

Wish you best of luck.

Dixiechickonhols · 14/12/2020 10:45

Grass isn’t always greener. He will currently have sickpay, pension, generous holidays, death in service etc. Yes some big private firms offer some perks but most don’t. If he is only income then job security and these benefits are very important to your family. I’m moving other way and was surprised at how generous these are for even a new starter. I’m coming from private with statutory minimum holidays and ssp only.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 14/12/2020 10:47

I think maybe it’s you that needs to step up. £55k in public sector is a great job so he will be allowed flexible working to do school runs etc as the kids get older. I wouldn’t give up my secure public sector job for anything in the current climate.

BarbaraofSeville · 14/12/2020 10:48

I'd also caution against giving away a secure job, potentially for one with less flexibility and bigger expectations.

Many 'big jobs' especially in the private sector really expect their pound of flesh, and you could find that he's at work for longer hours and also at risk of being let go or redundancy if he doesn't perform to their expectations.

Also he'll lose a lot of any extra salary he earns as it will all be taxed at 40%, plus NI and you'll also lose child benefit, which you're probably getting just about all of at the moment due to his pension contributions.

Probably have a bigger positive impact on the family finances if you planned to go back to work as if you could earn even £10k, you'd keep just about all of that, especially if you minimised the amount of paid childcare you needed due to school, free hours and your DH looking after them if you could both flex the hours a little.

Neron · 14/12/2020 10:50

I don't think he is too old to change career, but if he doesn't know what he wants to do then it is a bit tricky.
If he had a career in mind, then it is totally feasible to carry on with his existing job whilst studying, with a view to change when qualified. People in 6 figure jobs don't just walk in to them, otherwise we would all be doing it.

Nomaigai · 14/12/2020 10:50

I don't think it's too late but does he actually want to? It sounds like he's comfortable where he is. If that's the case I'd say why is it him that's expected to retrain. Doesn't it make sense that it's you if you are currently a stay at home mum? Presumably you'll be looking at returning to work in about two years (when the youngest is at school). Assuming no SN, now seems a good time to start retraining (as you only have one at home).

Dishwashersaurous · 14/12/2020 10:52

And in two years time your youngest will be at school. And then anything you earn will be a bonus.

So actually only two years of tight finances and then you will be earning as well to share the burden

Iggly · 14/12/2020 10:53

How old are your children? I would consider a job if I were you, although appreciate it might be hard in this climate.

He could move around in the public sector but a risk as local authorities have had so much funding cut by the Tories, that they’re not as stable as you might think.

tttigress · 14/12/2020 10:56

It's never too late for a career change, but I would not bank on it getting him a massive pay rise (especially when considering the public sector pension).

What does he want to change into, if it is management, but in the private sector that isn't really a career change.

Maybe he should think about what he wants, then maybe try to get some of the relevant to qualifications while in his current job, this might actually help with his current job.

Xenia · 14/12/2020 10:57

I would just concentrate on getting you back to full time work. He sounds happy with his job really and not that keen to take risks. There is nothing to stop you returning to work full time and earning double what he does in some careers!