Is it too late for DH to go for a career change to try and earn more? He thinks so

[NC1012]

DH is early 40s and been working in the public sector for over 15 years. He has enjoyed his job over the years and worked his way up to senior management which is £55k. However he has been saying there is no real opportunities left to go higher, as the jobs are fewer plus the extra responsibility doesn’t reflect the pay.

Several years ago he said a career change might be the way to go to try and get near a 6 figure salary but has been too scared to give it a go. His friends in the private sector have done really well so he occasionally feels he played it too safe when he was younger. Also he fears a risk in career move now may not get him a higher salary plus job security could be a lot less than he has now. He is a likeable person and works hard and is dedicated.

He recently decided it is too late for a career change with a view to get a much higher salary and now it’s as good as it gets. He said he shouldn’t have sat comfortable in his 20s and early 30s.

We have dc1 5 and dc2 2, I am a SAHM so we have zero child care costs and live in a small 3 bed home. We have never been extravagant with money and have enough to live with a few treats now and then, and tbh it would be nice not to always second think about certain purchases.
Also we have been thinking of moving house to get more space but will mean a bigger mortgage for another 25 years.

Is he right and it’s too late for a career change to try and earn more?
Is the risk too great now especially with this year’s pandemic and who knows what the economy will look like next year?
Am I being unreasonable to agree with him?

Some days I think the risk is too great as he is the sole earner at the moment. But sometimes I think he is worth more but not sure he has the confidence to make a substantial career change.

It's not his job that's the problem, £55k is a good salary. It's never too late to change tracks particularly if he isn't satisfied (although I'm not sure now is the best time). But if you want more household income to do more and move to a bigger house the most obvious thing to do is for you to work, that would be more tax efficient too. I'm sorry but it makes me cringe when SAHPs or part time workers come on to get advice about their partner's salary, it has happened quite a bit, and it's mind boggling to me. Start with you.

In this current market surely it's better to stay where he is? As he is the sole financial contributor to the family in a secure job it would be too much of a risk for me.

You say about moving home, why not start the ball rolling for you to enter the workplace when your youngest starts school? With another income then coming in it would be less of a risk.

I think he’s doing that thing that people, particularly men, do when they get to a certain age, compare themselves to peers and feel like they haven’t achieved as much as they should have.

He’s got a job he enjoys and is good at and which pays well, has a family, own home, health etc. I think it would be a big mistake to shake this all up if the only motivation is money.

Comparison really is the thief of joy.

I don't think it's too late, although I would wait until the economy has settled down before doing anything. He might be working into his 70's so a good while to get another career going. Also if he is in senior management, these skills are often transferable across sectors so he may not have to start at the bottom. It might be worth having an informal chat with a recruiter to see what they think.

I work closely with someone in the public sector who believes he would earn significantly more in the private sector. He wouldn't. He is very cushioned from what is happening right now, is completely uncommercial, and really doesn't get that private businesses don't have the same infrastructure he's used to.

When you add the generous holidays, the ability to clock off at 5pm, good pension and 12 months' sick pay then he is much better staying where he is.

But it's not too late to change direction if that's what someone wants. I've probably had several careers in my life time-all quite different (and I've invested heavily in qualifications which has been a joy in itself - mostly!)

55k in the public sector is a really good salary I'd not move anywhere right now as it might be hard to move back in.

Of course it’s not too late. He’s young. If it didn’t work out he could just return to the public sector, couldn’t he? It sounds like he’s comfortable and scared of moving.

We’d struggle to live on 55k, that’s one salary here and together it’s just over 100k. That feels comfortable for us.

Depends on how radical the career change is. I was made redundant at 39 from a rare-ish job which sort of forced me into a career change. I bounced around, as it were, for about 4 years before settling into something not too far from the first job but with a very different employer.

It doesn't sound like he's looking at a career change so to speak - just moving from one sector to another.

I don't get the sense he really knows his earning potential in the private sector, and I don't get the impression he's unhappy with his current job either (just that he'd like a bit more cash). The two of you have a nice set up - you can afford your own house for a start, which is a big deal. Plus, he has job security and all the perks of public sector.

In his shoes, I wouldn't be looking to rock the boat.

Have you considered part-time work yourself?

Could he get some board positions and get into regulatory stuff using his current seniority and experience? I agree with pps that he should think less about breadwinning and status and more about what area he would be interested to pursue. I think he's too young to stop developing.
Your question was about him not you so I won't comment on that.

It depends if he is looking to retrain or just look for jobs using his skills in the private sector. If the former that will take time and money with no guarantees of a job, however the latter could be something he could do.

My DH works in cyber security in financial services. He has employed a few ex police officers to roles as the skills they bring fit perfectly with the job requirements and they also pay much better than the police force.

@AgentProvocateur

I maybe got the wording wrong. They’re on full pay but not working. Apologies for the confusion. *@Dishwashersaurous and @Hardbackwriter*

I'm surprised. My former colleagues in public sector are all working throughout. Depends on role I suppose.

@Coffeeeeandcake

Of course it’s not too late. He’s young. If it didn’t work out he could just return to the public sector, couldn’t he? It sounds like he’s comfortable and scared of moving.

We’d struggle to live on 55k, that’s one salary here and together it’s just over 100k. That feels comfortable for us.

Realistically 100K is so very beyond 'comfortable' that it's not a helpful comment. That's 3 times the average household wage. You must spend a LOT.

@Misandrylovescompany

Presumably your household finances will improve in the next couple of years as your kids start school and you go back to work? Perhaps that will free up some scope for him to look at changing jobs while being more flexible in terms of salary?

Was also thinking this. Obviously it depends where you live but 55k is a good wage.

As with all big decisions in life, people would be genuinely happier if they examined the motivation behind them first, & then acted accordingly. Is his motivation for wanting to change due to him comparing himself with richer friends? Or is it deep-rooted dissatisfaction with himself and unhealthy self-imposed expectations to achieve more, be more, earn more. If the former, then he needs to address his habit of comparing himself to others & work on his self esteem. If the latter, he needs to work out the reasons why he imposes unrealistic expectations upon himself & find his peace with himself and what he can do.

Neither of these require or indeed, merit a change in his career.

I don’t think it’s too late for a career change but agree with prior posters that a secure £55k/yr job during the crises of Covid and Brexit should be held on to. I think YABU to think he needs to make more money to fund a larger house/easier lifestyle. If you want that for your family, you need to go back to work and stop being a SAHM. Your youngest is 2yo so you have no excuse.

Dh is facing a career change at age 50. Anyone want to give him a job? Pre covid he earned £54k now he earns £9k. Lifetime savings gone now after 9 months of lost income. Self employed, so no gov help for us.
We are desperate. Any job will do. Anyone???

It depends what he does in the public sector! If it is only doable in the public sector and the roles doesn't exist in the private sector, has no relevancy in consultancy to the public sector or contracting then he is probably a bit stuck.

I took redundancy from a fairly well paid public sector role aged 29. I have changed job 8 times in 9 years (in and out of the public and private sector), including contracting and now earn 6 times what I did before. If I hadn't taken the first role after redundancy at 29, I would have completely retrained as either a teacher or electricity transmission engineer.

Certain IT jobs pay well straight away but in most fields he will struggle and is better off thinking in a more structured way about his career and planning how to get ahead.

Pre covid I would usually say do it if it’s for a change to something he will genuinely love with excellent prospects. However we are in a very difficult financial world at the moment. Pre covid my DP had a successful business but this relied on European travel twice per month safe to say covid restrictions have changed that but I have a very secure public sector job and that has been our security. Public sector jobs are generally safer, better holidays (I get almost double what some private sector friends get in similar roles/grades) and more importantly pension. 55k is a good salary that lots of families with 2 parents working will not achieve. You have asked about your DH but in your family position I would be finding work to boost the household income and securing my future in terms of NI contributions/savings/pension if you don’t have these things sorted as a SAHP.

@NC1012

I concur with what previous posters have said re the pension. A friend of mine was looking at a change and the additional pay to compensate for the pension was pretty substantial...I think she basically worked out that she would get a pay rise of £10k on a £30K salary but needed to put nearly all of her pay rise into additional pension contributions to cover the loss of career average.

Having said that, a lot is down to pension performance. I opened an additional private pension 3 years ago and I've been staggered as to how well it has performed despite Brexit and Covid. But that can change of course.

A key issue is what role he performs in the public sector and how desirable it is what he does on a level transfer basis

Also is it that he really wants a new job or is it just the comparison with what others are earning.

For example if you know lots of people in the city who all did similar degrees and work similar hours but earn five to ten times as much now it can seem a little galling.

But he is too old to get a graduate job in the city that would lead to those sort of earnings

It sounds like he's made his decision and doesn't want to push himself. If he's earning 55k then he's done pretty well and you should be really proud of him.

If you want more money, go out and earn it yourself.

Can he do the studying/qualifications whilst he's in his current job (i.e. evenings, weekends etc via distance learning)? At least then, he'd have something to prove himself to potential employers, would know more about his "next" career and maybe in a better place to hit the ground running. (He may even decide it's not the career for him and give it up).

His current £55k p.a. job is a lot to give up on a whim to move into a different role that's he's no experience of. Could be a very expensive mistake. Career changes also usually mean quite a drop down the career ladder to a more "trainee" role, meaning much lower pay, etc. Can you afford him to take a pay cut for a few years until he starts climbing the ladder in his new career?

Another point is that it's hard for someone in a senior/managerial position to take a few steps down the ladder and work under a "boss" who he feels is inferior to them in terms of management etc. I did it and really struggled. I was on the Board of Directors of a manufacturing firm and decided I wanted to return to accountancy practice, where I'd previously been a manager. To return to practice, I had to drop down to "senior" level position which I thought I could handle as I knew I was out of practice and things had moved on so I needed a year or two to catch up. It was absolute hell - I had no respect for my line manager who (in normal times) I'd run rings round in terms of experience, technical knowledge, etc., but I had suck it up to get myself back on track. Worst couple of years of my working life!

I would never leave public sector

Pension, flexibility and job security qre key right now.

Surely you being a SAHP is only temporary while kids are little, so when you go back to work your household income will increase then

Thank you for all your thoughts and comments, with lots for me to think about and talk to DH.

My plan is to look at what career I can go back into and be happy in once dc2 is a little older and at school. When I think a new career/job, it feels daunting as I use to commute to the city, just over 3 hour commuting a day sometimes longer, 5 times a week before we had children. So I am keen to find something more local, as I do not really want to go back to my previous commuting lifestyle.

In terms of DH and career changing, he does look at the grass is greener in the private sector especially when money is tight. I expect deep down he knows he is settled in his job and career in the public sector, and enjoys what he does. Perhaps some of you are right that he is approaching mid 40s and looking back at whether he achieved enough in his career and life.

As others have suggested, perhaps looking at opportunities within his organisation in future and giving him the confidence that we are ok financially will boost his confidence to not think the grass is greener elsewhere.
Looking at a future job with potential career for me is the best way forward for now.