Is it too late for DH to go for a career change to try and earn more? He thinks so

[NC1012]

DH is early 40s and been working in the public sector for over 15 years. He has enjoyed his job over the years and worked his way up to senior management which is £55k. However he has been saying there is no real opportunities left to go higher, as the jobs are fewer plus the extra responsibility doesn’t reflect the pay.

Several years ago he said a career change might be the way to go to try and get near a 6 figure salary but has been too scared to give it a go. His friends in the private sector have done really well so he occasionally feels he played it too safe when he was younger. Also he fears a risk in career move now may not get him a higher salary plus job security could be a lot less than he has now. He is a likeable person and works hard and is dedicated.

He recently decided it is too late for a career change with a view to get a much higher salary and now it’s as good as it gets. He said he shouldn’t have sat comfortable in his 20s and early 30s.

We have dc1 5 and dc2 2, I am a SAHM so we have zero child care costs and live in a small 3 bed home. We have never been extravagant with money and have enough to live with a few treats now and then, and tbh it would be nice not to always second think about certain purchases.
Also we have been thinking of moving house to get more space but will mean a bigger mortgage for another 25 years.

Is he right and it’s too late for a career change to try and earn more?
Is the risk too great now especially with this year’s pandemic and who knows what the economy will look like next year?
Am I being unreasonable to agree with him?

Some days I think the risk is too great as he is the sole earner at the moment. But sometimes I think he is worth more but not sure he has the confidence to make a substantial career change.

I have a uni degree in journalism. Then went into software project management. Then shifted to business analysis. Then shifted to consultancy. Then into data field as analyst/pm. Then slightly back to Program Director. In the meantime changed countries so had to start at almost the bottom of the pile 10 yrs ago.
H: civil engineer originally. After 10 yrs doing that he changed to a new industry and to being a software engineer. In 10 years he is now around chief/senior software architect level.

My advise: go for it.

cons: when we moved both of us were on really low salaries because we didn't have references, prev employers here. But that is quite specific to us.

“sometimes I think he is worth more” - genuine question, why? £55K means he’s getting paid well over average. Take away the proud wife emotion that he’s worth millions to you
If he’s actually worth more (worth more, not deserves more) than update his CV and get out there. The market decides what you’re worth (as a newly qualified nurse will tell you 😕)

He would be giving up a secure job and pension with nothing to fall back on as you’re not working. I think you know what you have to do ...

Depends on his area. I went from public sector to private sector (in same field) 2 years ago - moved across on the same salary, spent a year becoming familiar with different ways of working and terminology etc, then applied for a promotion and nearly doubled my salary.

But I do agree that it may be less secure. Interestingly, I've found that private sector colleagues in my field tend to change job every 2-3 years, cf what I was used to (staying in a role for 7-8 yrs). There's also a big reorganisation at my work every year or so, which always includes redundancies. It's just a different culture.

Yanbu, don't jump out of a safe job with a good pension right now. Unless there is a clear path to a very well paid private consultancy job, and even then, the risk is huge of being out of work.

I’d be reluctant to career change with single earner. Would be more likely to take the risk if we were dual income.

Some public sector places do have ability to go part time, which can be harder in some companies (though some are good).

I maybe got the wording wrong. They’re on full pay but not working. Apologies for the confusion. @Dishwashersaurous and @Hardbackwriter

"My public sector friends are sitting pretty - on furlough with a top-up to 100% of their salary by their local authority employer."

Huh? That can't be true.

Ah, cross post.

It sounds like he's actually happy earning what he is in a job he's comfortable in, otherwise he'd have done something about it before now. His is a decent salary, good enough to enable you to be a SAHM, you're not struggling financially, so really why does he need to earn more?
If you think more money would give your family a better lifestyle then maybe see what you could do to bring in a bit extra. I understand that it's hard when considering childcare costs, but you could work around him. In a few years both DC will be at school making it a lot easier childcare wise for you to work too.

I don't think it's a good idea to give up a secure job in the public sector right now. If he moved for more money he would be vulnerable, particularly to start with, as he'd have no length of service behind him so they could just let him go any time without redundancy pay. Given the huge increase in unemployment rates this year in the private sector at all levels, that is not a risk worth taking if he doesn't have to.

I absolutely wouldn't with covid and brexit. You also have to consider the pension benefits.

I left the public sector to go freelance and its much more precarious. I wouldn't have done it if dh didn't have a stable job. The private sector pay isn't much better or if it at all depending on the field.
I would stay put and look for opportunities. However that might mean travelling or moving.

It's probably not too late for a career change, but you mentioned that he enjoys his existing job. That's such a valuable thing - I'd think very carefully about jeopardising that if you can manage on your existing income

He is not too old for a career change but does he want too? Will it bring happiness? If so, then he should go for it.

If changing to a different career isn't what he wants then I would advise against it. Chasing pound signs doesn't necessarily result in happiness and money doesn't buy everything.

If he doesn't want too change careers then is there absolutely no way that he could increase his earnings in the same career field? Or would you be willing to start working again once your youngest starts school?

Is 'your public sector friends' actually 'one person you know' @AgentProvocateur? Because I find it extraordinary (extraordinarily unlikely) that you know multiple people all of whom are being paid to do nothing

I think it really depends on his sector. If he can convert his experience into consultancy/analyst work then it could be a move worth making. Also the jobs environment is very weird at the moment - people aren't moving due to job security fear, so for companies that are expanding, it's really quite hard to recruit well qualified candidates - so it can also be a time of great opportunity.

Lots of people get forced out of public sector and other jobs by reason of redundancy, business failures etc and do fine building good careers elsewhere. For instance, I know of people who worked for council SEN departments who then set up as parental advisers on SEN. If your husband were over 50 I can see why he might have difficulty, but early 40s should be fine.

If you want to move to a larger house then why would you have another 25 year mortgage? you can choose to have a lower term - 15 years and have higher repayments. Perhaps tie that in with you working when dc are at school?

What are your plans for returning to work?

Definitely never too late. DH left the armed forces aged 44 in January this year after serving 20 years. Whilst he hasn’t had a total career change (he’s gone into a job that uses some of his military skills) the jump of leaving a very secure job with a career path, promotions, etc was massive for him.

Having worked in both sectors, I think that many people don’t realise there is often a huge difference between public & private sector.
Particularly in terms of the management style required, and I’m not convinced that a complete career in the public sector would be seen positively by a private sector employee. That being said, some areas such as Health & Safety, HR, Accountancy - are comfortable transferable skills.

You mention DH is a bit fearful about making such a change, I feel that alone would indicate his personality type might not be a good fit in a different work environment. My last manager before retiring had transferred sector and (although a nice bloke) he found adapting to a totally different culture really tough and had to take time off due to stress. And this was a transfer from public sector to a large charity.

It depends on how much he enjoys his current role, enjoying your job is priceless, if he starts to get jaded or bored - could he consider moving to a different area within the same organisation for a couple of years? This would enhance his CV and also help his confidence in making a move to a different sector.

Job security and pension are very important, high salary careers often come with a risk. And working hours flexibility are a key consideration when you have a young family. Maybe start thinking about how your own career plans could enhance the family income.

To completely retrain yes if head hunted into private sector positions then no.

But the more critical part is currently a public sector job is one of the safest at the moment with a very generous pension and that is worth a lot at the moment.

He can also look at senior executive levels if he wishes to move up within the public sector.

Who's pushing for the bigger house and more money? You or him?

It shouldn't be all on him long term. We were in a similar position as you - i was a sahm for 5 years - but went back to work and now it is me in a public sector role with a salary in the same ball park as your husband. My DH earns a bit more but from a household perspective he doesn't have to keep earning more and more so can just be happy where he is. I think you need to look at the bigger picture and not make it all about him.

In the current climate security is everything, I wouldn’t move on a whim.
There are so many benefits in the public sector that he just don’t get in private, the biggest bring his pension. But holidays, flexible time, hours, everyone I know in the private sector work way more hours than those in the public.
Would you consider working yourself?

@MichelleScarn

Who's pushing for the bigger house and more money? You or him?

To be fair, the OP asks if she’s unreasonable to agree with him not wanting to change. I don’t think she’s unfairly pushing him. I think they're both just a bit jealous of friends who earn more - and preferring to see that as something he could have had if he hadn’t, “played safe”.

I didn't say it was her coco? Which is why l asked who?