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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much you spend on your children for Christmas?

427 replies

chubbycheeks26 · 14/12/2020 00:24

I imagine this has been done to death.

I am sick and tired of my mum telling me that I've spent too much on my 2 year old daughter, around £600. However, she's my only one and if she had siblings my budget would still be the same, just between them. I can afford it, so AIBU to spend this kind of money? Or am I being ridiculous?

OP posts:
Elsielouise13 · 14/12/2020 07:10

If you can afford it, know how you’ll nurture your child not to grow up with a sense of entitlement, can cope with snide comments about how other people would do things differently etc go for it.

We spend .. enough. Way more than some and probably not as much as others. We also spend on coaching etc cos we can so,it’s not an either, or.

I’d be more influenced by how much plastic will actually be played with rather than the cost but that’s hard to know at two.

MintGreen · 14/12/2020 07:12

Mine are only small (4yo and 1yo) so for now we're doing Want, Need, Wear, Read. We've spent about £50 on each child. But at the moment we're on a reduced income as I'm a SAHM. I'd rather squirrel away some money into their savings accounts, and take them on holiday once a year, than have a huge pile of presents under the tree which they just get overwhelmed by anyway.

SendHelp30 · 14/12/2020 07:16

YABU to ask.
Everyone’s budget is different, therefore we will all spend different amounts.
You’ve spent £600 on your child and live with your mother. Parents who have a mortgage/ rent and bills to pay and have either been on furlough or lost jobs this year won’t be able to spend that.
It’s all relative which I’m sure you realise?

SendHelp30 · 14/12/2020 07:21

Oh and as a slightly lighthearted follow up; YABU to spend a large chunk of your budget on peppa pig as she’s horrid!

BarbaraofSeville · 14/12/2020 07:31

You're on a low income and live with your DM despite being a parent yourself.

She probably thinks there's no end of things that you could use your money for that are more important than buying an enormous pile of toys for a child who won't know any different than if you spent £100 on fewer and cheaper things and saved the £500 towards a home of your own, your child's future or even just more expensive times later on when she wants a grand's worth of phones and designer coats.

RainbowMum11 · 14/12/2020 07:35

It all depends on how much can afford/want to spend, doesn't it.

When my DD was 2, there wasn't anything big that she needed so I got her the usual stuff to open (pants, vests, tights, pjs etc) and some second hand toys - a balance bike I think. she has family that bought her lots of toy bits but really, at 2, there is no need unless you have the money .

DD is now 7 and still hardly asks for anything really - Christmas is more about family and love, and the odd present is just a bonus really!!

RainbowMum11 · 14/12/2020 07:39

And that's a good point about groups/education etc - me & DD went to London for a weekend as her Christmas present a couple of years ago - we went to museums and sight seeing and had a ride on a double decker red bus!

Frouby · 14/12/2020 07:43

£600 on a 2 year old is obscene especially if you are staying with your mum, that would be a hefty wedge towards renting your own place.

Depends what mine need. Last year ds (6) had a switch plus about £150 of other presents, dd (15) had about £300 of stuff but that included clothes and pjs which I would normally buy anyway, just opened Christmas day.

This year ds has had about £250 spent on him, dd about the same but she also asked for a new phone so that's on top. I don't get them a 'big' present every year if they haven't asked for anything big. Next year will probably be expensive, dd will need a decent laptop for uni, will probably get her that for Christmas plus she turns 17 next year so driving lessons for her birthday probably. Ds is hankering after a games console for his room so possibly next Christmas he may get that.

But we can do this and not have to get in debt and make sure bills are paid first.

Camomila · 14/12/2020 07:45

Around £100 each, 4 and 10m old.
More than enough at their age!

Metabigot · 14/12/2020 07:48

They get £50 each plus stocking from us, but with grandparents, aunts, uncles etc probs ends up adding another 150.

That's quite enough imo

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 14/12/2020 07:49

I have 4 , this year the younger 3 have had around £100 each plus stocking fillers and Xmas eve box stuff. The oldest had £50 as he's 26 and has children himself .

I did spend £1100 during lockdown on a gaming laptop for the 17 year old though

ellentree · 14/12/2020 07:51

I have spent around £200 each (including stockings) this year. I spent nearer £50 when they were two but buying a lot second hand (kitchen/bikes/scooters etc). This year their larger lego sets are second hand, about 20% of the new price!

If you can afford it and your mum doesn't financially support you in any way (market rent/no regular free childcare/you pay your share of bills and food) then it really is none of her business.

CakeRequired · 14/12/2020 07:53

I would not spend that much on any of my children and I could afford to. I prefer to spend money on tutors for them and a lot of 1-1 coaching in sport and music. Nobody's business but yours though.

That's kind of irrelevant here, ops kid is 2. She isn't going to benefit from any kind of tutoring at that age.

Just buy what you want op. I don't think I'd bother much at that age only because most kids at that age are more interested in the boxes and wrapping paper than they are the presents. Grin

movingonup20 · 14/12/2020 07:54

That's a hell of a lot. If you can genuinely afford it without credit, skimping on other things etc then it's your business but I suspect your mum knows otherwise. Your kids year old will benefit from the stability of having a parent who saves for rainy days rather than buying lots of unneeded gifts

Kokosrieksts · 14/12/2020 07:55

We could afford it, but I never understood this over the top spending on Christmas. We are spending 40£ on our 2 year old. She will get one lovely game and a few little bits like a soft toy and stocking. I find it is plenty.

movingonup20 · 14/12/2020 07:58

@chubbycheeks26

One play set is plenty, then add some art supplies, socks, pj's, chocolate coins. I've spent £60 on each of my uni aged kids because it's all I can afford

Etinox · 14/12/2020 07:58

It’s a lot but being the sole parent I can understand you feel it’s all falling on you to provide for her needs.
How much are you contributing to the household? That might have something to do with your Mum’s opinion...

santasmincepie · 14/12/2020 07:59

I think there's a difference in spending £600 on something expensive plus some other stuff and spending £600 purely on £20 gifts.

If you can afford it and you are confident that she will actually play with it, then go for it. It's your money. Just don't feel that you have to spend the same amount every year

kowari · 14/12/2020 08:01

Spent about £70 on my 14 year old. One big present (£50) and consumables. He is also getting a big present from grandparents and money and consumables from other family so it will add up to plenty. When he was younger I would get him a Lego set and grandparents would get him another, then he would get a few things like books and chocolate.

Fande · 14/12/2020 08:01

I spend £70 each on 3 children. I prefer to save for a great holiday.

SueEllenMishke · 14/12/2020 08:01

And I was worrying that I'd spoilt DS by spending £150 on him!

It's your money so your choice.
It is a lot for any age never mind a 2 year old who will grow out of things or get bored relatively quickly but ultimately it up to you.

Averyyounggrandmaofsix · 14/12/2020 08:01

At first it sounds a ridiculous amount but when you look at it that she will only get presents from you it takes a slightly different hue. A lot on here who spend less on their children will be spending on other family members and their children will benefit from that indirectly by reciprocated gifts.
I do think it sad when people say we don't have holidays (not this year obviously) so spend a fortune at Christmas, I think there is more to life than an overwhelming pile of presents once a year.

Santosi · 14/12/2020 08:02

Sound like a lot of plastic to me. your 2 year old will be completely overwhelmed. Not sure what you are trying to achieve. You are a lone parent living with your parent. It sounds plain stupid to spend that amount on plastic for a 2 year old. Your budgeting skills are seriously lacking. Sorry, but you asked.

LM20 · 14/12/2020 08:06

I usually spend £1k per child (I have 2). Both my partner and I work, regularly doing overtime etc to afford a nice lifestyle. Surely it’s up to us what we spend? I don’t tend to tell people (in real life) what we spend as it gets peoples backs up.

We have no debt, no car finance, our rent is only £425 for a house so we have quite a bit disposable income.

Everyone has different opinions on this and frankly I don’t think there’s a right or a wrong answer. If someone spends £100 or £1000 it shouldn’t make a difference as long as neither were putting the family in to debt or they were prioritising Christmas presents over bills.

santasmincepie · 14/12/2020 08:06

I think I spent around £150 on my DS (age 1). I haven't actually added it up. It's been spread over several months so I haven't really noticed it as much as I would have if I'd bought everything in December. It might seem like a lot but he's going from baby to toddler so needs a developmental upgrade on his toys. So he's getting things like a ride on toy, megabloks, farm animals etc, plus some practical things like a backpack and reins. I'll probably put some of the toys away once opened to bring out gradually.

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