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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tales of family Christmas from hell?

423 replies

HTH1 · 13/12/2020 21:39

Following on from the guests from hell thread, please tell me about your worst family Christmas from hell. Hopefully that will make me happier about it just being a v small Christmas this year (all family away or dead) and would love to hear your experiences Xmas Wink

OP posts:
LethargicLumpOfLockdownLard · 14/12/2020 10:20

Age 16 or 17, DM was so poorly with a chest infection she had to have an ambulance and DstepFather went with her to hospital leaving me to finish the dinner and look after my younger siblings. There was a lot of booze lying around so I decided whiskey was nice and festive and was having a few sips while standing at the Cooker. Don't actually remember the rest of the the day!

Rainbowandscarlett · 14/12/2020 10:21

For context my mother is a narcissist and my brothers the golden children
I was the scapegoat (still am but am nc now)

She’d Dished up a cheese board for Boxing Day (she’d had everyone round for Xmas but I was only allowed round for Boxing Day)

I used the ‘wrong’ knife to cut some cheese-they where exactly the same knives from a set she bought for cutting cheese at Christmas

Well that was it!

The biggest fight ever over this bloody knife-I’m standing there offering to wash it,my brother threading to stab me with another one which was a ‘real’ knife,mother is wafting about trying to pander to my brother and the cheese went flying

My other brothers and father are screaming at me,I’m telling them to get a life and she’s howling at me to leave-or she’d ring the police

So we did

The following year-no invite so I took the kids to Maccies and she had the nerve to scream at me for daring to take my own children out for a treat at Christmas!

Thankfully we went nc and Christmas has been drama free since

All over a bloody knife that could have been washed

Beautifulbonnie · 14/12/2020 10:23

For us. It will be this year

My friend lost her child to a brain tumour. She was only young. No family want to see us. Apart from my lovely DM. Haven’t seen my father in over a year due to a fallout with my stepmother. Lost a lot of friends due to me being seriously unwell and spending many months in hospital myself. Seems they weren’t friends to begin with. It’s been a very bad year and this Xmas will just top it off.

But I’m still smiling (just)

Maerchentante · 14/12/2020 10:23

There were a few

My sister (3) and I (6) had been visiting our uncle and his wife near Munich the week before Christmas and were due to travel home on Christmas Eve with my uncle and his wife.
That morning my sister found a bottle of cough syrup, opened it and drank from it, that was at the time where child safety lids were not on bottles yet. Uncle's wife saw her as she took the bottle from her mouth, then proceeded to force feed me a few spoons of the same syrup while telling me "See what you did, you should have stopped your sister, now we have to take you both to hospital to have your stomachs pumped out".
My uncle was more pragmatic, rang the pharmacy who said that, while not recommended for children, it would do no harm.
On the way home we were in a traffic jam as there had been a mass lorry crash due to fog and I was most upset as I was supposed to play the only speaking shepherd in the church Nativity Play that afternoon. We managed to get home just in time.
My uncle's marriage didn't last much longer, thankfully.

About six years later we went to my maternal grandmother's on boxing day, the whole family gathered, and we saw lovely presents under the tree - only it turned out that they were all for our baby cousin and none for us. On top of that, we all got food poisoning as my grandmother had bought the cheapest meat she could get and it had gone off.

The worst though was in 1996, I was 18 and my dad had been diagnosed with cancer that October. On the 23rd I woke up to find my mum gone, phone next to their bed. I took the phone to my room and my paternal DGD rang to say my dad wasn't well but he was "still breathing".
At 10 that morning my mum's youngest brother rang and told me, quite gleefully, that my dad had died. Yeah, thanks very much you idiot. I never quite forgave my mother that her family knew before we did, in fact, they must have known for a good couple of hours as they rocked up about 20 minutes after that call invading on us and my grandmother making it all about her, how she had lost her son-in-law, how she was inconsolable, how she had it hardest while expecting us to wait on her hand and foot. For once, my mum stood her ground and sent them home.
Christmas that year was not happy at all and has not been quite the same ever since.

This year will be hard, as I won't see my family in Germany, but we will make the most of it and have a Zoom Christmas.

MrsToothyBitch · 14/12/2020 10:23

Just remembered the year I got screamed at aged about 9 was also the year I accidentally sat on the edge of my aunt's floor length curtains and shuffled forward- thus taking it off the wall. I knew I'd be for it and got shouted at doubly- in front of everyone.

DM chose a couple of days after Christmas - and after I'd accidentally dropped something- to sneeringly tell me mid dressing down that my aunt didn't think I was "normal" and suggested I had autism and that she was inclined to agree. This was based on "clumsiness", me asking for a main Christmas present they considered "childish" and the fact I used to do something a bit like stimming with my hands when excited or agitated as a child (I don't now)- both on display that Christmas Day.

I was an undiagnosed dyspraxic, terrified of being shouted at yet again for a complete accident I had no idea how I'd caused. It's stayed with me.

AngryFeminist · 14/12/2020 10:42

Spent Christmas last year in STBXH's home country. On Christmas morning I was jet lagged to fuck and had been up with a 3 year old since 4am. In laws informed my husband he was banned from making me coffee as it would only lead me to binge eat. Then they fed my son a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake at 11am and took us to lunch and bitched about how son wouldn't sit still or eat anything. The lunch was 7 courses of raw seafood, including still-wriggling octopus tentacles. I am vegan.

Sockmonster23 · 14/12/2020 10:42

Yeah stayed around my exes mothers house, most of her family claim she is a narc,(something is wrong with her well they aren’t wrong aside from ruining my family being a total control freak , she went through my suitcase and sniffed my knickers then said they look tatty ,are they primark?! Didn’t think you were primark but more marks. Was 12 weeks pregnant and and tired,had two little kids , just moved away. Turns out my ex wasn’t too unlike her and now I really the reason the other family members stay away

FrankskinnerscRoc · 14/12/2020 10:53

We went to Scotland, he said it was beautiful, it wasn't. Everyone was so pissed or should I say pished that they could hardly stand. They'd go to the bar to get a drink, most of it was on the floor by the time they'd staggered a few metres back to their seat. When a fight broke out the bar staff would pull the shutters down & completely ignore it, the rest of the customers would gather round & cheer, rather than try to break it up. He said that they didn't celebrate Christmas as it was just for the weans. I foolishly looked forward to Hogmanay, I didn't think this was possible but they got even more pished! They called me the English bastard 🥺 I met several lovely people that Christmas, but for years I felt that I'd rather die than return to Scotland. It was quite sad really, but no where near as bad as some of the tales on here.

sashh · 14/12/2020 10:53

My mother would sulk and cry given any excuse and the family had to run round placating her.

Over the week before Xmas relatives had dropped of presents and they were put under the try.

But my mum unwrapped anything for her and put it back unwrapped under the tree.

Xmas day we are all opening presents but my mum didn't have anything to open, so she sulked and complained that she hadn't got anything.

My grandmother's worst Christmas must have been the year of the coal and potato.

My mum and her sisters had to have a bath on Xmas eve, clean nighties and hang up pillow cases for Santa.

The middle sister was not joining in and was told she wouldn't get anything for Xmas except a mucky potato and a piece of coal. I'm not sure of the ages but they still believed in Santa.

Well Xmas morning that is what she got. So that's what she played with.

After a bit her parents showed her Santa had left presents behind the settee for her, my aunt refused to even look at them and spent the entire day playing with coal and the potato.

Apparently my grandmother got more and more stressed that my aunt wasn't interested in the presents.

CressidaTheHeathen · 14/12/2020 11:00

My parents announced their divorce on Boxing Day when I was 14.

Ten years later I got meningitis on Xmas day.

Five years later my DM died completely unexpectedly and her funeral was on Christmas Eve.

I get huge uncontrollable anxiety in December now. Fortunately this year I’ve learned to control it a little better with exercise but it’s horrible.

Quite glad we’re having a quiet Xmas this year just with our DC. First year in 15 years I haven’t been hosting 10-20 people and I’m looking forward to having pre prepared stuff from the freezer with zero pressure for everything to be perfect!

Nottherealslimshady · 14/12/2020 11:04

My parents were split up. And both my mums parents had died. Our aunties and uncles were alot older than mum and busy with their kids and grandkids. So my mum rarely got any presents. She'd get one from one of our aunties and one from us if one of our aunties took us. I always felt so bad and used to open Christmas cards early to take the money to buy presents with.

But this one Christmas my dad had bought her a present. He was usually horrible to her. She was so thrilled, really touched, really thought he'd actually shown her some appreciation for everything she does for his daughter with no help from him. It was a lump of coal. He'd gone to the effort of buying and wrapping a lump of coal (one of those boxed, you're on the naughty list things). It was horrible, she was heartbroken. I felt sick with guilt, like I was responsible for him.

I'll never forgive him for that. And now we can afford it, I always spend alot on her and make sure she has a lot to open.

ouchmyfeet · 14/12/2020 11:28

@CandyLeBonBon

This one. My brother committed suicide last week
I'm so sorry for your loss.
sashh · 14/12/2020 11:35

@ouchmyfeet that's just cruel. I'm sure your mum appretiates your presents.

ouchmyfeet · 14/12/2020 11:38

@sashh Think you are confusing me with another poster

wewillmeetagain · 14/12/2020 11:38

8 weeks pregnant with dc number 3, already suffering severe morning sickness. Then the whole family including me came down one by one with norovirus, on Christmas Day!

sashh · 14/12/2020 11:41

@ouchmyfeet sorry yes I am. @Nottherealslimshady I meant that for you, the coal was just cruel.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 14/12/2020 11:47

Well, it could be the year i had surgery so was in hospital in my uni town and parents were 400 miles away only consolation was my then boyfriend stayed too so i wasn’t totally alone. Or it could be the year the increasingly belligerent family dog savaged my mum as she reached across his basket to get a tea towel, she insisted he went to the vet to be put down as he could no longer be trusted around people and she ended up in a&e having her hand sewn up and rings cut off, it was all so sad, we had sausages for xmas dinner that year and saved the presents for another day.

Elbels · 14/12/2020 11:54

A grandparent collapsing and dying in front of us just before we sat down to eat the starters definitely wasn't one of the best...

peachescariad · 14/12/2020 12:00

I was about 19/20...got absolutely bladdered on Grand Marnier after Christmas dinner and proceeded to go out of the back door and climb back in through the dining room window with everyone still sitting around the table looking a bit bemused....I think I did this several times then went to the downstairs loo where I fell off it and lay there with my knickers around my ankles until older B managed to open door to get me out.

Promptly taken off to bed to sleep it off and appeared again around 5pm and had to apologise to all my GPs

UselessCat · 14/12/2020 12:04

With dysfunctional families on both sides we've had some awful Christmases!

The worst has to be when dd1 was three months old. I started feeling ill on Christmas morning but my mum cried and wailed on the phone saying that we still had to go for Christmas dinner. We arrived and my parents had had an enormous row so we ate dinner in silence, with me feeling increasingly unwell. It had turned into full blown norovirus by the evening, and stupid ex dh refused to even hold the baby while I threw up so I was trying to breastfeed while vomiting into a bowl balanced on dd's head. And he didn't get me a present.

You'll all be happy to know that we had split up by New Year, and he'd moved out.

TurkeyTerrorist · 14/12/2020 12:09

My worst Christmases are fairly tame by the standards on here:

The Christmas when DC was 13 months and we went to stay with ILs was pretty dreadful. DC was absolutely obsessed with going up and down stairs at that age. I pleaded with MIL to get a stairgate (big steep Victorian staircase with tiles at the bottom). I offered to pay for one and have it sent to them. But "Oh no, don't worry about the baby, there'll be plenty of people to watch them".

In the end, I went down with a nasty cold bug just before Christmas so felt absolutely dreadful and spent five days repeatedly trailing baby DC up and down the stairs while everyone else was eating and drinking, including most of Christmas dinner. I actually lost weight that Christmas.

We've also had a fair few turkey disasters growing up. My uncle once left the turkey next to the radiator to defrost quickly and it developed quite an interesting smell. It was decreed unsafe to eat and buried in the garden and we had Boxing Day's roast beef instead. Another year when staying with grandparents, everything was horrifically overcooked including the pigs in blankets. Like literally charred. As we heroically chewed through it, my grandad commented that he'd never before seen the turkey served with the bullets that killed it.

Conair · 14/12/2020 12:11

Went to my in-laws Christmas afternoon as planned , they had already eaten their Christmas dinner, gave us ours lukewarm... gave my eldest a very expensive present and the others cheap Xmas decorations.
They went to bed at 5 and stayed there all evening watching the soaps... that was 8 years ago have never gone back there for Christmas Day since.

harriethoyle · 14/12/2020 12:15

Christmas before last was the 5th christmas in a row I had spent with my parents, without any of my 3 siblings. Felt like I shouldn't leave them alone etc despite offer from my (now) fiancee to spend it with his family.

Parents got drunker and drunker and picked on EVERTHING I did - my cousin described it as two elderly lions picking off the shit gazelle at the back of the herd Grin

The crowning insult for my Mum was that I used Jamie Oliver's yorkshire pudding recipe instead of hers (despite asking me to make them because she didn't want to!). Literally, every person who called after lunch was treated to an increasingly florid diatribe about YPGate..."And she used FOUR eggs! I've NEVER used FOUR eggs!" I ended up in tears that night on the phone to my DF who said "next year we are spending it together, not at your parents and that's THAT." (And we did and last year was amazing!)

YP Gate has gone down in family folklore for my cuz and I, and I can laugh about it now but at the time it was so awful. The sad thing is, I lost my Mum in August and last Christmas was her last one, and even knowing that now, I wouldn't change a thing in terms of skipping out on Xmas 2019 because 2018 was SO TERRIBLE!

listsandbudgets · 14/12/2020 12:17

I hurt my shoulder pushing a too heavy shopping trolley(one of those ones with its own mind) over a speedbump in the on the 23rd. I somehow managed to get through all the cooking, stockings, presents, and even lugging a 16 pound turkey about whilst regularly disappearing to the loo and crying. I was out of my mind on codeine which I had left over from when I had an eye injury.. I was sick from a mix of painkillers and a pain about 4 times on Christmas day but I didn't want to spoil it for everyone else so said nothing

then on boxing day I put down a dish of food, there was a huge clicking noise the pain went almost instantly and my MIL said "that sounded like your shoulder going back - when did you dislocate it? I wondered why you seemed so miserable, it wasn't like you"

I don't think I can have dislocated it completely or I'd not have been able to use the arm at all painfully or otherwise but I'd obviously done something

DazedandConcerned · 14/12/2020 12:21

I cooked turkey and gave everyone the most gruesome food poisoning you can imagine.

The kicker...

I didn’t have any turkey.

Entire house of people fighting over who got the bathroom for their... ahem... eruptions while I snickered downstairs with wine. Oops.