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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tales of family Christmas from hell?

423 replies

HTH1 · 13/12/2020 21:39

Following on from the guests from hell thread, please tell me about your worst family Christmas from hell. Hopefully that will make me happier about it just being a v small Christmas this year (all family away or dead) and would love to hear your experiences Xmas Wink

OP posts:
dottiedodah · 14/12/2020 09:09

Must have been about 9 or 10 ,DGP round .DM put Turkey in the oven and was expecting it to be ready in about 3 hours or so . Round about 1pm went to take it out still raw! Oven was playing up(might have been around switch to Natural Gas ) not sure .Anyway our Neighbours gave us cold turkey and we had sandwiches at least!

PrincessNutNutRoast · 14/12/2020 09:13

For everyone who is struggling with bereavement or heartbreak, and the poster whose father made her "repay" him (actual RL shudder and nausea, that's beyond horrendous), I'm so sorry and I hope you all find peace.

Thank you to everyone who responded to mine. We were used to that sort of thing and it was indeed funny at the time (we had long realised that laughing about it was the only way to deal with it, plus it drove Dad nuts that we weren't lamenting and bewailing his melodrama). Nobody got hit that time, which made it a good one, and nobody died. Though I do remember thinking, as I got drunker and drunker (I was only a teenager at the time), that if I had to be sick I might aim it for the Christmas tree just to make it all perfect, but I decided not to, that would have been nasty. I just felt sorry for our guests, they were nice people. Brought nice wine, too.

Thighdentitycrisis · 14/12/2020 09:14

@PrincessNutNutRoast
Nice one!

movingonup20 · 14/12/2020 09:16

I remember fondly but when I was 11 my mum woke up really sick on Christmas morning, well all night she had a fever, I suspect flu - anyway we had 13 for lunch (well 12 as mum was too ill) and rather than cancel dad said he would cook except he burns fried eggs so despite standing on a stool as I was so short I cooked dinner with my little brother relaying instructions from mum in bed. The Turkey was dry, the gravy lumpy, the Brussels overdone but at 11 I still think it wasn't a bad achievement, as for dad - he peeled potatoes slowly and carved the meat, otherwise was doing goodness knows what.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 14/12/2020 09:17

We had a family tradition that Father Christmas would leave a pr aent somewhere in the house to open after all the tidying from the day had been done. The last time we did it I was 17, my sister 28. She trapped me in our mother's bedroom and had a right go at me about applying to Cambridge. I was being selfish as mother couldn't afford it. Of course, it would have been no more expensive than anywhere else and what was really behind it was pure jealousy, but I was too upset to see that then. Have never forgotten.

Am restarting the traditiong for my dd and hoping to finally banish this memory.

The other one I remember was a few years later. Christmas had been just me, my mum and my uncle. He was a lovely quiet chap but my mother always seemed really bitter about him and would complain continually when out of earshot. She'd also try to force conversation all the time whilst we we were both happy to sit in silence. So Xmas day was not great.

Boxing day she'd invited a friend over. He was stone deaf and turned up without his hearing aids. He did, luckily, return home for them but even with them he liked to talk, loudly, so that he didn't have to listen to anyone. My mother was happy, me and my Uncle not so much. I know I sound mean but I really don't like non-stop all-day talk but wasn't allowed to go to my room so was stuck with it.

HerMammy · 14/12/2020 09:19

This year will be hard as my DD15 has just been told her dad(exDH) has lung cancer with a poor outlook, thankfully we all get on and will be making the most of the time he has.
Makes my shitty Xmas’ past with shitty parents insignificant.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 14/12/2020 09:19

Flat dogs and shaky pudding

Divebar · 14/12/2020 09:21

I feel like throwing a huge traditional Christmas and inviting everyone here. I’m really sorry about all these experiences- especially if you were a kid at the time. I Hope you’ve all experienced much happier times since. Flowers

EternalOptimist7 · 14/12/2020 09:23

Princessnutnutroast I’m not sure why anyone finds your post funny. That sounds dreadful. Was your Dad always like that?

gettingolderbutcooler · 14/12/2020 09:25

@CandyLeBonBon

This one. My brother committed suicide last week
I'm so sorry 😢
Chanjer · 14/12/2020 09:26

Our dad died on Christmas Day

EternalOptimist7 · 14/12/2020 09:27

I wrote that without reading your 2nd post princessnutnutroast

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/12/2020 09:28

Not exactly from hell, but very sad - the year my mother had phoned in tears on 10th December (date etched on my brain) to say the GP had told her my father was dying.
He died exactly a month later.
It was a sad, subdued Christmas, but we didn’t let the memory overshadow future ones - it was the last thing my cheerful, jolly DF would ever have wanted.

A hellish Christmas Eve was the one when, shortly before I was going to drive the 60 miles to fetch her, my mother decided she’d really rather stay quietly at home instead.

OK, if that was what she wanted, but I went anyway, to take her presents and some nice food.

Trouble was, by then she was in the earlier stages of dementia, so not long after I was home again there was an utterly furious phone call - what was she doing all on her own on Christmas Eve? I was the worst daughter in the world, she was cutting me out of her will, etc. etc.

Useless to remind her that she hadn’t wanted to come - she simply couldn’t remember.
I was in tears for hours.
Luckily, by the time I phoned her on Christmas Day - in fear and trepidation - she’d forgotten all about it. Talk about phew!

dramalamma · 14/12/2020 09:31

Ah that fun Christmas when we were living abroad so pulled together a waifs and strays Christmas of about 25 people plus kids in a beautiful house in a forest up a mountain about 4 hours drive from where we all lived. Utterly gorgeous. We all took responsibility for a different part of Xmas - mine was the main parts of the dinner. Not a problem, I can cook, had it all organised and arranged in my mind..... got up on Xmas morning and couldn't move, I'd pulled out something in my back and literally could not get out of the bed (well mattress on the floor which may have had something to do with it!) We had presents around the mattress then DH (who can cook now but could not then!) realised he was going to have to take charge and banned everyone else from the kitchen and all we heard all day was cursing, banging and yelling (at himself) behind the closed kitchen door. Eventually a friend persuaded me to take some of her pretty potent muscle relaxant and I made it downstairs for the meal at about 7pm (due at 2!) - meal was nice if I remember .... but to be honest I have no idea as I was high as a kite on those pills! We still went back and did it again the following year. Grin

Skipsurvey · 14/12/2020 09:33

my dm admitted that father christmas didnt come one year, but i have no memory of that

Skipsurvey · 14/12/2020 09:34

father christmas didnt come because he forgot,

PrincessNutNutRoast · 14/12/2020 09:36

@EternalOptimist7

Princessnutnutroast I’m not sure why anyone finds your post funny. That sounds dreadful. Was your Dad always like that?
He was like that quite a lot...

Most humour is based on someone's pain. The line between comedy and pathos is fine, and sometimes the only difference is in how you present it. I absolutely intended people to laugh so I'm glad that they did, especially if they were suffering their own pain and it helped to relieve that a bit. I was laughing while I wrote it.

On the one hand, obviously it's not funny that Dad ruined Christmas and verbally abused everyone. On the other, it is sort of funny that he dealt with it by storming upstairs waiting for us to traipse up there to beg his forgiveness while Mum flapped around like the world's crappest straight man (I mean in the comedy character sense), and meanwhile we kids were just glad he'd fucked off and so we ate the rest of the food and got pissed on all the wine. Brother might even have done a completely rat arsed observational comedy routine on it while sister and I fell about.

I wouldn't presume to make light of anyone else's comparable experience, but this one is mine, and anyone who wants to laugh about it is most welcome to join me. It was a bonding experience for me and my siblings, so it wasn't all bad.

PrincessNutNutRoast · 14/12/2020 09:38

Well, I should add...I wouldn't make light of other people's experience, but if I could find a way to draw the abusive person's sting by making them ridiculous (as if Dad wasn't making himself ridiculous), then I probably would do that.

PrincessNutNutRoast · 14/12/2020 09:39

@EternalOptimist7

I wrote that without reading your 2nd post princessnutnutroast
Ah, not to worry...and I've only just now seen this!
Bloodyfrostycar · 14/12/2020 09:40

Some of these stories make me feel really grateful that my Christmases have been relatively good.

My worst experience was DC1's first Christmas. I was barely speaking to my parents because they wanted everyone (including PIL etc) to join them for a big family Christmas but this would include my violent, sociopathic, alcoholic brother and I did not want him anywhere near my baby. My parents were, at the time, convinced that he was a lovely person who just drank a bit too much sometimes and that I was being petty and nasty (they came to change their mind but that's several other threads).
We agreed to stay with PIL from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day. For the whole time DD was ill, including vomiting a lot after every feed. Doctor's advice was to keep breastfeeding her regularly so I was permanently covered in vomit. FIL didn't like me feeding in front of him, or any visitors so I was feeding in our bedroom which meant our bed was pretty vomity too. MIL had invited all her friends and neighbours over to meet DD (who she started to refer to as 'my baby') so most feeds were punctuated by impatient knocks on the door with MIL asking 'can I have my baby now, [name] has come over specially'.
On Christmas day, MIL got really upset because DH told her she couldn't wake DD up so that she could watch her open presents and even more so when DD screamed the place down when MIL was trying to get her play with each present she'd been bought. Quite frankly after 2 hours of very slowly opening each present for every person and all being expected to collectively ooh and aah and look at each gift I wanted to join in the screaming too!
Every time any visitor came she told them how wonderful it was that 'my baby' was with her for the whole holiday and then in a sort of odd stage whisper that my parents' house wasn't safe for her. I asked to go home after lunch but this lead to tears etc and lots of 'But you promised/but I made a trifle/but Doris is coming to see my baby later'.

Solderingon · 14/12/2020 09:41

@CandyLeBonBon I'm so sorry Thanks

Thighdentitycrisis · 14/12/2020 09:43

Elderly cat started having seizures in Christmas morning. Dinner was in the oven.
Ended up calling an emergency vet to have him put to sleep at home whilst lying in my lap

Sparticle · 14/12/2020 10:07

@movingonup20

I remember fondly but when I was 11 my mum woke up really sick on Christmas morning, well all night she had a fever, I suspect flu - anyway we had 13 for lunch (well 12 as mum was too ill) and rather than cancel dad said he would cook except he burns fried eggs so despite standing on a stool as I was so short I cooked dinner with my little brother relaying instructions from mum in bed. The Turkey was dry, the gravy lumpy, the Brussels overdone but at 11 I still think it wasn't a bad achievement, as for dad - he peeled potatoes slowly and carved the meat, otherwise was doing goodness knows what.
@movingonup20 my DC are 11 and 7 and if I picture them doing as you did, I am so proud of your younger self - well done!

Blunt and Candy and others who have suffered in Christmasses past, I really hope and pray that this year will be happier/more peaceful.

TwoLegsBadFourLegsGreedy · 14/12/2020 10:09

The year before last: having my head pushed forward so it was within an inch of a pan of boiling hot oil, and being told I'd be lucky to see out the day, and that this Christmas would definitely be my last...

Well fuck you mate- because last Christmas was the first time I'd ever been free (I moved from an abusive childhood to an abusive relationship) and unabused, me and my DC ate crap for breakfast, and I was so happy to have survived

We're now heading for Free Christmas number two- and I couldn't be happier

EternalOptimist7 · 14/12/2020 10:18

Sending 💐& hugs to anyone that needs them.