So he’s cleaning the bathroom...

[BashfulClam]

I know ianbu as cleaning the bathroom is always left to me but I had a strop and DH has said ‘fine I’ll do it, it’s not like it’s difficult!’

So in the last 10 minutes, ‘where are the rubber gloves? Which cloth do I use? What do I use to clean the bath?Do we have loo cleaner?’ What do I use on the glass?’ all items are in a storage thing in the bathroom. He has also soaked the floor cleaning the shower screen. I’d be lying if I wasn’t so slightly smug as I passed saying ‘remember to wipe down all the tiles, it’s not that hard!’

Give him a gold star to keep him motivated.

So do you want to LTB over this?

If you start taking the piss over his efforts you may just make things worse, a minor annoyance becomes a major row. You're meant to work together.

Speaking for the men we have been there doing something the partner in our lives usually does and we get told at length how we have done it wrong.

@Justkeeprollingalong

Me: please clean the shower room after your shower. Him: Again?? I only did it last week.

This is what my nine year old said when I asked him to Hoover the hallway. "But we did that last week!"

@cdtaylornats I just want a sink, loo and bath cleaned...apparently it’s not difficult!

@BigFatLiar it’s mostly lighthearted. I might wait till it’s just then go use the bog just like always happens the other way round.

Love this thread, OP! Mine is supposed to clean his bathroom every week but of course he doesn't. After much nagging, he got around to it last weekend - like you, it was 'which cloth do I use', 'what should I clean the floor with', 'how do I clean the mirror', etc. Some of them are really rather ridiculous! Also, why do they never think of cleaning inside the cupboards??

Well it depends what else you do and what he does. My DH doesn't clean the bathroom (tbf he is disabled) but before disability he did his share it was just different stuff. I do it all now but back in the day I never cleaned the car, never checked the tyres/oil/radiator, I didn't cut the grass, he usually did the vacuuming, other stuff we shared. You could pick any one thing and "prove" that one of us didn't do our share.

We had a great system as he worked 4 days/6 days on alternate weeks, on a 4 day week he blitzed the house on Friday top to bottom and we had a nice weekend, on his six day week I blitzed the house top to bottom on a Saturday and we had a nice Sunday. One thing he never did was empty the bins which people always seem to say is the man's job, he never managed to figure out the recycling.

It is about finding a system that works for both of you.

I think the 4 day/6 day week was the best system and I hated it when he went back to a 5 day week. It was lovely coming home on a Friday with the house vacuumed, polished, bathroom and kitchen cleaned.

Yeah, but if it’s anything like my husband it will be a 2 hour marathon cleaning session, taking stuff apart, unblocking things... just clean what needs doing!!!!

@Justkeeprollingalong

Me: please clean the shower room after your shower. Him: Again?? I only did it last week.

Ah yes. The old 'I only did it last week' opt out. I hear that one every time I mention skid marks in the toilet or a sticky kitchen floor.

I see this is meant to be lighthearted but it always makes me when people set their bars so fucking low. It's not endearing or slightly exasperating or "well what can you do" when a grown man can't clean a fucking sink.

@cdtaylornats

Speaking for the men we have been there doing something the partner in our lives usually does and we get told at length how we have done it wrong.

So if you're given a task at work and your boss says the same, do you just not bother at all in future? Or do you, you know, try harder?

Some people have different standards and also set ways that they do things which they believe is the only right way. But also some people are slobs and deliberately do a shit job so they aren't asked again.

I've met both controlling micro managing and lazy slob men and women so it's not a sex thing.

@cdtaylornats

Speaking for the men we have been there doing something the partner in our lives usually does and we get told at length how we have done it wrong.

Speaking for the women, perhaps you should just do it right in the first place?

Also I hate the argument that 'men do the DIY, the mowing, the bins' etc. All of which, even if true, need doing once a week or less. Changing light bulbs? Couple of times a year maybe but according to some thats equal to doing the laundry or cooking which happens multiple times a week. I live alone, with young kids so do it all anyway but that one really pisses me off.

@ItRubsTheLotionOnItsSkin

I see this is meant to be lighthearted but it always makes me when people set their bars so fucking low. It's not endearing or slightly exasperating or "well what can you do" when a grown man can't clean a fucking sink.

I agree. Plus I don't understand how you can want to have sex with someone who treats you like a skivvy and is too useless to work out that the cleaning things are right in front of him or he's 'mopping' the floor without a fucking mop head. Not sexy.

@cdtaylornats

Speaking for the men we have been there doing something the partner in our lives usually does and we get told at length how we have done it wrong.

Speaking for the women, do you have any idea how disappointing and unattractive it is when men can't pull their weight and do simple tasks to a reasonable standard?

Does the "hung up hoodie" co-ordinate with his "dressing gown of doom" (for when he is REALLY ill and dying from the flu, not like your cold...)? Stay strong and prove your point OP.

In this day and age, why do we still get these situations where blokes are apparently baffled as to the mysteries of housework or suggest getting a cleaner? Unbelievable.

It’s been done well. Actually better than I do (possibly because it’s not a novelty to me). So o think that task could be offloaded and now he’s making dinner.

If he’s anything like my DH, he’ll call you in once he’s done to ‘show you how it should be done’ and then announce that we should try to keep it that way. Yeah, good luck with that, it’s a bathroom...

@BigFatLiar

Ha I asked for help putting the shopping away

OH lived on his own before we married, did his own shopping, put it away. Only issue was he just put it on whichever bit of shelf was clear. No system, he tended to know where he put things but anyone else (me) ended up hunting through the shelves.

I wasn't aware you had to have a system...

" One thing he never did was empty the bins which people always seem to say is the man's job, he never managed to figure out the recycling."

Surely the sorting for the recycling happens before the stuff goes into the bin? You're not having to take things out of the bin to sort them are you?

We have a saying in our house- “Nobody made you useless but you’re doing a good impression of it.”
Usually works ;)

I was seeing a man who proclaimed that his ex-wife was lazy and never did anything and that he had done it all.

Anyway I was at his house and he had to pop out for a bit. He had only moved into the house within the last few weeks and it hadn't been lived in for a while, so I thought I'd do him a favour and give the bathroom and kitchen a scrub. All the cleaning products I could find in the house was a bottle of CIF and some washing up liquid. When he came home I question this, his response was that when he went into the cleaning aisle in the supermarket he was totally overwhelmed with all the choice so he just walked away! So presumably his ex did the shopping and the cleaning then?!

That relationship didn't last long!!!