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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people not to go out when ill even if it’s not covid.

80 replies

Annie2746 · 12/12/2020 16:42

Hi all, I know we can’t shut ourselves away every time we get a sniffle etc.

A good friend of mine told me this week that her teenage Dd had covid like symptoms - fever, cough, sore throat, fatigue etc. Got her a test and it came back negative which is great so on paper she doesn’t have to isolate anymore obviously.

Her daughter isn’t better yet (this was only a few days ago she got ill).

Yet she’s been mixing yesterday and today with others since negative result and gone shopping in a city today. Yet she didn’t go to school yesterday after negative results as she was still feeling poorly.

Aibu to think this is still a bit selfish? Putting covid aside, even before covid aibu to think this is selfish?

She could pass on whatever she’s got to someone else who maybe experience the same symptoms who will the ultimately have to have time off work whilst they tested!

If it was just a little cold I’d think whatever but what she got sounds nasty even if it’s not covid.

It just seems since covid all people seem
To take notice of is covid yet there’s so many other viruses going around that can be nasty too!

Nearly as annoying as to when parents send their kids into school with sickness bugs!

OP posts:
cologne4711 · 12/12/2020 16:45

At the start of your post you say that you don't expect people to stay at home for sniffles. If someone doesn't have covid, they can go out.

It's not "selfish" - the most overused word of 2020.

It's realistic - people need to go out.

How does it affect you if someone goes out who feels a bit under the weather, who doesn't have covid? Presumably she was wearing a mask. Last winter, she wouldn't have been, so may have passed a cold on by sneezing etc. This year that won't happen.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2020 16:48

@cologne4711

At the start of your post you say that you don't expect people to stay at home for sniffles. If someone doesn't have covid, they can go out.

It's not "selfish" - the most overused word of 2020.

It's realistic - people need to go out.

How does it affect you if someone goes out who feels a bit under the weather, who doesn't have covid? Presumably she was wearing a mask. Last winter, she wouldn't have been, so may have passed a cold on by sneezing etc. This year that won't happen.

Exactly this ^^

I think Covid has made a lot of people take leave of their senses.

Life has to go on around it all.

Original poster
Annie2746 · 12/12/2020 16:49

Because she has more than the sniffles? 😏 she was too ill for school but not ill enough to potentially infect hundreds of shoppers! She didn’t need to go out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Annie2746 · 12/12/2020 16:50

I just wouldn’t dream of taking my dc out shopping if they had a fever covid or not!

OP posts:
kowari · 12/12/2020 16:51

If it was just a little cold I’d think whatever but what she got sounds nasty even if it’s not covid.
If she only got ill a few days ago and was well enough to be out shopping today then it does just sound like a cold, not anything particularly nasty.

winesolveseverything · 12/12/2020 16:51

I haven't got either the time or inclination to even give this head space quite frankly.

The world has gone mad.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 12/12/2020 16:54

Surprised at the first two responses. Spreading a virus with a fever around can result of multiple people off work at the moment while they wait for test results. If it was going to school because she had already missed a lot of an important year or a job where she woukdnt get paid if she didnt go in then I'd have some sympathy. But shopping and mixing with friends is not essential and therefore selfish. And wearing masks might protect people from sneezing but not from transferring on hands after blowing nose etc.

ramblingsonthego · 12/12/2020 16:55

Are you going to pay their bills to stay home?

Until people get decent sick pay and not put on a disciplinary for taking time off then people will still go to work and school sick with a cold.

It would be nice to stay home with a cold and recover, sadly a lot of employers don't see it the same way

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2020 16:55

Look, she's a teenager.

Being too ill for school but not too ill for shopping, is hardly unusual is it?

Original poster
Annie2746 · 12/12/2020 16:55

@kowari I’m not sure she even is well enough. It’s just her parents wanted to go shopping therefore dragged her along. Not really her fault I guess 😔

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 12/12/2020 16:55

She obviously wasn't that ill if she was able to go out.

She would have been wearing a mask.

Her mother was responsible by getting her a test.

The world cannot stop because someone has a bloody cold. I have 5 dc at home and would get nothing done every winter if we had to stay at home for every sniffle.

kowari · 12/12/2020 16:55

If she was well enough to go out then she wasn't really too ill for school.

kowari · 12/12/2020 16:58

[quote Annie2746]@kowari I’m not sure she even is well enough. It’s just her parents wanted to go shopping therefore dragged her along. Not really her fault I guess 😔[/quote]
A teenager who was actually not feeling well enough to go out would just say so surely? It's not like they are a six year old who can't be left home alone

Original poster
Annie2746 · 12/12/2020 17:00

I didn’t even say it was a cold! If it was a cold I wouldn’t give a crap. It’s obviously more of a strep throat type thing as she apparently had a very sore throat and a fever, fatigue etc. Much more than a cold. She’s probably not even well enough to be out but her parents wanted to go on the trip.

I have two kids. I know that they can’t stay in every time they get a sniffle but for the symptoms I explained in op, covid or not I wouldn’t take them out shopping.

But whatever, I’ll put my hands up and say maybe I’m being judgemental. Just sucks that she may pass it on to people who will question whether they have covid or or and need time off work to get tested that’s all! Especially as they are using public transport to get there!

OP posts:
AlternativePerspective · 12/12/2020 17:01

If she was well enough to go out then she wasn't really too ill for school. well, given school was yesterday and she went out today, it’s not the same as going shopping instead of going to school is it? She likely feels better today than yesterday.

People catch colds all the time. This is life. You cannot possibly expect them to stay home or the majority of primary school kids would spend the first six months of the year at home.

If she is feeling well enough to go out then there’s no issue.

My friends and family stay away from me when they have colds as I have underlying health conditions which could make me ill, but I sure as hell don’t stay home for the winter in case I catch one. That’s just not realistic.

Myshinynewname · 12/12/2020 17:03

I'm surprised by these answers. I had covid symptoms last weekend. I tested negative but I'm still coughing a bit and have a temperature so I've stayed at home anyway. It might be different if I had to go out to work but I can wfh. I wouldn't dream of going Christmas shopping, it's just selfish.

Nottherealslimshady · 12/12/2020 17:05

People have never stayed home to prevent passing flu on. That would be ridiculous. People have lives to get on with. The only thing you stay at home for is chickenpox and now covid.

Myshinynewname · 12/12/2020 17:11

Maybe you don't stay at home with flu but I would. I was really hoping that covid might make people think a bit more about how their actions when ill affect the people around them.

Leaannb · 12/12/2020 17:15

@Annie2746

I didn’t even say it was a cold! If it was a cold I wouldn’t give a crap. It’s obviously more of a strep throat type thing as she apparently had a very sore throat and a fever, fatigue etc. Much more than a cold. She’s probably not even well enough to be out but her parents wanted to go on the trip.

I have two kids. I know that they can’t stay in every time they get a sniffle but for the symptoms I explained in op, covid or not I wouldn’t take them out shopping.

But whatever, I’ll put my hands up and say maybe I’m being judgemental. Just sucks that she may pass it on to people who will question whether they have covid or or and need time off work to get tested that’s all! Especially as they are using public transport to get there!

All signs of common cold...Sore throat caused by post nasal drip. Fever and fatigue extremely common for a cold
cherryblossomx3 · 12/12/2020 17:15

what has it got to do with you what your friends teenage daughter does?

the righteousness of some people this year is so cringeworthy.

GintyMcGinty · 12/12/2020 17:18

If it was 'nasty' and she wasn't well she wouldn't have the out.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2020 17:21

Blimey, she's getting more ill with every update.

Better stop posting now OP, or she'll be at death's door a couple more posts in...

AntiHop · 12/12/2020 17:23

@Nottherealslimshady

People have never stayed home to prevent passing flu on. That would be ridiculous. People have lives to get on with. The only thing you stay at home for is chickenpox and now covid.
If people have the flu, they'd be at home in bed, too unwell to go out. I think you're muddling colds and flu.
Frownette · 12/12/2020 17:23

But you tend to be in bed for a few days when you have flu/cold and only go out when you're ready anyway. Much more emphasis on hygiene and space, face masks this year should reduce transmission.

Twillow · 12/12/2020 17:23

YABU. But thank goodness for masks, eh!

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