Why did you have another child?

[Legalhelp]

If you have had more than one child, what were your reasons for this and is it amazing or something you wish you’d thought through more?
I have a toddler Dd and love the bones of her , but it’s hard bloody work! I often think about having another and a part of me really does, but then the rational side says ‘Are you nuts? This life but only harder?’ Or is it not that much harder?

Like others I wanted DS to have a sibling

Twins!

I've just always known I'd like 2 children, a boy and a girl. For me 1 of each would be perfect. I know obviously there's no guarantees that will happen before anyone says anything, and obviously any child is a blessing and would be perfect.
We have 1 child, a boy. My husband and I have always said we wouldn't even think of trying for another until our 1st is settled at school. We wouldn't want another baby while our 1st was so young. A 5-6 year gap would be perfect for us. When he's settled at school I feel I'd be more able to give my 2nd baby the same attention I gave my 1st. He's 5, he started reception this September. Initially we may have thought about trying for another within the next year or 2, as we feel he will be properly settled by then. Obviously now with the situation we wouldn't even consider trying for another so soon. Will all depend on how things are and what happens.
My mum had her children 10 years apart though. There's 10 years between my brother and I, 10 years between my brother and sister, and 20 years between my sister and I. Which was so nice because I was able to me so much more involved.

@Mustreadabook i suppose that's a good way to do it if you want a child to have a sibling

I was an only child and I hated it. And now I'm 46, my dad has dementia, my mum's trying to cope alone and there's only me again, no brother or sister to share the load. It was lonely as a kid and it sucks now. When DH and I first discussed children I said I'd rather have none than just one. I'm v grateful I have two. I can't guarantee they'll be close as adults but I do my best to make sure that they appreciate each other as family.

I wanted my child to have a sibling . I wanted a son .

I only have one toddler. We have considered two, but it just doesn't feel right at the moment. She is very independent and really loathes to spend time with anyone except mum and dad (or even look in their direction) and it's been that way since birth so we're just kind of working on that at the moment to see how things go.

My partner is one of three, and the eldest (all close in age) and was OK with it.

I'm the youngest of three with larger age gaps (eldest was 12 and middle 7ish when I was born) and I hated it. Though in saying that, my upbringing wasn't particularly great so I probably would have hated being an only even more.

For us at this present time, only having one child makes sense. It may change in the future, it may not.

I’m another only child who really wanted a sibling! SH is one of four and they have a lovely bond- their parents did a great job teaching them mutual respect.

So, I wanted two and like PP’s, did find it much easier with the second as I knew what to expect- even though DS was a more restless and clingy baby than DD.

That doesn’t mean that being an only is awful, my parents just had a lot of health and at times financial problems that I had to deal with alone. But there was love too.

It felt like a spiritual imperative. I'm usually quite sensible, but I didn't give any thought at all as to whether I should have more children. It felt utterly inevitable. I had three in the space of four years and, while it was hard work when they were small, they were more than worth the effort.

*DH

Always thought I would like two children but ended up with three. Six years from oldest to youngest. I wouldn’t be without them for the world! I think one of the hardest aspects is the constant laundry. Both me and my partner are only children so I wanted them to have each other as there would be no cousins/aunts/uncles. They get on like a house on fire.

Two here - both myself and DH have a sibling and we wanted the same for ours. Having said that, I did not get pregnant until DC1 was 2.5 and reliably sleeping through the night! I have actually found it easier as the family expanded; they play with each other and provide a lot of fun for us.

Quite simply, to give DC1 a play mate.

Now they half play like they're best friends, half kick the crap out of each other

I also agree with you flugel. When I lost both my parents in my 30s, it hit home again that I was an only child and it was v hard dealing with everything on my own. I wanted my children to have each other and to be there for each other during the tough times

As someone who was only able to have one child, this thread is very difficult to read. A lot of comments about only children being lonely and how people had a second to benefit their first child. I miscarried out second but believe (perhaps wrongly) to that our child is happy.

DH was an only child, he was never lonely and had a happy childhood. I am one of 6 girls and I hated it, I would have given anything to be an only.

You can't base your feelings on what other people think or felt about their own situation. Their will always be people who think the grass is greener.

Grrr.. Their will = there

I have three. I would have loads if I could. First was hard work but to be fair we were clueless. Second was a breeze and third is the apple of his sibling's eyes. All three get on like best friends (DD13, DD11 and DS8) and are all fiercely independent. I cannot imagine having only one.