Page 2 | How do you split your finances

HeyMichaelmasTerm · 11/12/2020 22:07

Married, 2 DDs. DH earns 50% more than I do.

We each keep the same amount of "play" money each month, everything else goes into a joint account from which bills are paid. Remainder goes to savings.

I keep a fuck off fund from my play money.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 11/12/2020 22:12

Both our salaries go into the joint account. We get the same disposable amount monthly to spend as we wish (usually) without comment.

House, food, bills, savings, kids, unusual expenditure like a big dental bill all come
out of joint funds.
We discuss anything of substance to come out of the joint account but deduct savings etc and all bills mortgage etc come out on the first of the month so it's clear what's left for family stuff.

Earnings have varied over the years but aside from mat leave I have always been the higher earner. DH pulls his weight in every way though, I have never felt he's taken the piss.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 11/12/2020 22:13

I know a few SAHMs who are given an allowance which is basically not enough/leaves them skint, and in every case it's because their DH is not on the same page as them about them being a SAHM as it is leaving the family poorer than the DH would like.

With any financial stuff, any shared system only works on the basis that you are really in agreement about most stuff spending wise.

SometimesMaybe · 11/12/2020 22:14

DH earns x3 what I do. We each get wages paid into our own accounts. He pays mortgage, I pay childcare. We each pay into extra savings/pension. We leave a small amount each for pocket money. What’s left gets split between x2 joint accounts - one has all the direct debuts and one is our spends for the month - shopping, going out, clothes, stuff for the kids etc. all equally accessible and equally split.

Rainbowandscarlett · 11/12/2020 22:15

I pay for all food,clothes,bits for the house and the odd top up on the gas
He pays the rent and everything else-from the tv package to the water bill
I earn about 1/3 of what he does
We both have our own bank accounts and go halves (I say halves loosely) on anything big-we both save a % of our wages so it’s whoever has the most puts the most into the purchases
It works for us

Elsielouise13 · 11/12/2020 22:24

Both decent salaries. Joint a/c I put in regular amount a month which covers school fees and whatever else. Husband puts in.. sometimes. I don’t check up. He pays all bills from this a/c and his own. Don’t keep track but he works in finance and is just better at management of our admin. We have similar views on spending and it’s a none issue really.

We do both also have our own a/c and I have no idea how much DH has in his a/c and vice versa.

We’re very fortunate but work bloody hard and it hasn’t always been this way.

We both like our own financial independence and been together 20 years so it works for us.

Autumnchill · 11/12/2020 22:32

Husband earns £13k less than me but at one point was £25k less however it's always been our money, one account with bills coming out of it.

Nillynally · 11/12/2020 22:38

Been together 14 years, married 5, DC 1.5. Before we had DC we had separate accounts that our wages were paid into and we both put in X amount to a joint account where the mortgage, utilities etc came out of. I would buy the food for us as DH used to have a big commute. Our own phone bills and car finance, insurance etc came out of our own accounts and wages. Since having DC and me going part time, both wages go into a joint account and all bills inc good and car finances come out of it. We have standing orders of X amount that come out into our own accounts as pocket money so we can spend it on whatever we like with zero judgement. We both have side hustles like buying and selling online to add to our own pots. It works very well for us and my mental health is much improved since sharing our finances

christmasathomeagain · 11/12/2020 22:51

@Jamie8671

Was reading another post and thought it was interesting how unmarried couples split their money.

I earn 90k and partner 28k. Our net salaries all go into one pot for ‘bills/savings/life’ and each person spends as they like. We don’t keep our money separated but have been together 8 years and whilst we’re not married we share all else. No DCs.

The one difference is that my pension contributions are much higher as both of us are % of salary rather than £ amount.

What do you do? Genuinely interested as lots of people are talking about seperate finances

Same here (accept how much we ear 😂)

Always been one pot since the month before we got married. We earn together, spend together and save together. We discussed individual spends that are large (over £100) but other than that, spend as we like.

For most of our time together DH earned more than me. Its currently the other was round but might not be forever.

We are a partnership and as equal as can be.

StoneofDestiny · 11/12/2020 23:04

Married with kids
Both our salaries go into a joint account. Everything comes out of there too. Both spend what we need / like. Have never argued about money.

notdaddycool · 11/12/2020 23:13

For our first few years of marriage she was a student so had a joint account that was usually empty and stuck with it. Very uneven incomes so whilst we occasionally talked about splitting we could never work out how to split bills so haven’t done it.

TurkeyTrot · 11/12/2020 23:42

Why do adults think that "pocket money" is ok, when you earn a salary?
I get that it means a small amount to spend, but is it ok to have a salary of £25k, but only having control of pocket money of £200 per month?

reginafelangee · 11/12/2020 23:48

I earn £70K and he earns £45K.

All the money goes into one pot and all the bills are paid from that. We both pay into our pensions and have a few joint savings accounts and we save for the children.

We don't have his and her money its all 'our' money. Joint resources to fund our family, now, in the future and retirement.

AlwaysLatte · 11/12/2020 23:54

Everything split. I owned my own house when we met (no mortgage) so when we got married and I moved in with him 15 years ago I sold my house and paid off his mortgage and he put me on the deeds. . We've shared everything 50/50 since.

AlwaysLatte · 11/12/2020 23:54

Sorry, just realised you said unmarried couples (we're married).

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip · 11/12/2020 23:55

Married 14 years, 2 D.C., since DC1 everything has gone into one joint account t and we run a budget that gives each of us the same “pocket money” per month

WillingWarlock · 11/12/2020 23:56

We earn about the same (nearer to your partners salary than yours). We have a joint account and both pay £600 a month into it. This covers mortgage, bills, kids school lunches, music lessons, etc, and we also pay for one offs like meals out, holidays etc from it. If we have extra costs, like repairs to the car, we both put equal in to cover it.
Apart from that we have separate accounts. I pay for most food shopping. He pays for most petrol. I probably spend more on presents at Christmas, although big gifts are joint.I think we basically see our money as joint (we work freelance in the same sector and sometimes help each other out with work but wouldn’t expect a percentage of the fee earned) but I would feel uncomfortable about paying all our money into one account - I would then feel wrong buying frivolous coffees, or paying for a gym I rarely go to.

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip · 11/12/2020 23:56

@TurkeyTrot for us the “pocket money” is to spend on total luxuries just for the individual - mine is usually on coffees/dinners with friends and his is usually on his car he’s doing up. We both have shared control and responsibility of all other money

BackforGood · 12/12/2020 00:09

and each person spends as they like.

This ^ of course is so very much easier to do when you have such an incredibly high income. When you are having to account for every penny, then it isn't so easy to be so relaxed.

Newnewnewbuild · 12/12/2020 00:14

We both get paid into our joint account where all bills (mortgage, utilities, car finance, petrol, food shopping, stuff for the house like furniture and decor, shared days out, meals out, shared savings, presents for family at birthdays and christmas etc etc) all come out of.

We each take £300 each after we get paid and we spend this on whatever we like such as clothes, hair cuts, seeing friends, whatever.

We've always done this even since before we got married and it works really well for us and we agree that we will always do this whether I'm on maternity leave for example or whether either of us gets a promotion and earns a lot more than the other

warmeduppizza · 12/12/2020 00:23

Separate accounts, similar income, bills split equally. I pay rent, DH pays groceries. I spend my spare money on stuff I want for myself or the house, DH spends his spare money on his DC.

stevalnamechanger · 12/12/2020 00:42

We have totally separate finances pretty much .

We each pay the same amount into a house account for bills and mortgage every month all done direct debit .

We do our own budgeting .

We earn pretty similar amounts so it makes sense for us , your scenario there is a VAST different in funds so think probably some kind of discussion around sharing money may be important

Pyewhacket · 12/12/2020 00:54

We have no mortgage or childminding etc so we roughly split the costs between us altho my husband pays our cleaner. Always had separate bank accounts. I have no idea how much he earns, exactly , but he’d tell me if I asked. No complaints.

Chocwocdoodah · 12/12/2020 00:55

All goes into one big pot. Like others have said, it's a non-issue - there's no "his" money or "my" money. I find it really strange when couples work out precisely what each should contribute based on the difference in their earnings - i.e. one pays 31.6% of the bills and the other, 68.4%. If you share your home, lives, children, why would you not share your money?

multivac · 12/12/2020 01:09

@Chocwocdoodah

All goes into one big pot. Like others have said, it's a non-issue - there's no "his" money or "my" money. I find it really strange when couples work out precisely what each should contribute based on the difference in their earnings - i.e. one pays 31.6% of the bills and the other, 68.4%. If you share your home, lives, children, why would you not share your money?

Can you really think of no reason? Are you that lacking in imagination? We are, exactly as a pp said, a partnership. Equal in every way. We play equally to our strengths, and mine is financial prudence. His... isn't 🙂. Separate bank accounts are the reason we still have a house at the end of 2020. And a 30-year relationship. Plus, as another pp said, 'we each spend what we like' is a fuck of a lot easier when you aren't surviving from pay day to pay day.