would this be a shit Christmas dinner?

[Lullabyebye]

DP and I are hosting this year - first time ever. It’s my parents, his parents and his brother. My mum is a retired chef (a very good one) but with age and arthritis, she gets super stressed with Xmas and so we are completely taking over.

As a family we hate Turkey so usually have beef. We have preordered fore rib and a gammon joint. We will have all the normal trimmings. We like Yorkshire puddings and MIL has demanded them (I know there’s some strong opinions on this!) so I bought nice ones that I’ve put in the freezer.

My plan is to just not stress. It should be a nice meal but it’s just a fancy roast eh?
So for starters, my mum was going to make coquille st Jacque. But I tried some frozen ones from Aldi and they were delicious. No one else (in laws) needs know... that would be starters.

Dessert - we asked MIL to contribute and she said she’d make Sticky Toffee Pud, we have also got some Christmas puddings.

We are cooking everyone a big fry up first. We have some smoked salmon which I will probably do vol au vent style with cream cheese as a snack.

Is this lazy? I just don’t see the point in not enjoying the day because we are stressed. I’m usually quite efficient in the kitchen and I’ve smashed out a few roasts, but I’m not a regular cook.

Opinions?

YABU - just bloody cook it properly
YANBU - it’s not just about the food and it sounds fine

YANBU but go blinis instead of vol au vents, smoked salmon, avocado and Waitrose's £3 caviar. Delicious.

I think you need to take control and design YOUR Christmas Day of food.

You're hosting OP
You.
Not them.
God they're hard work! 😂
Home made crackers! Just buy some and pimp em up. Stuff a personal message inside like 'be grateful and stop interfering' and have done 🤣

"Demanded them??" Your mother in law DEMANDS food from you????

Save the cooked breakfast for boxing day.

I'm a trained chef and my mum always buys Pre-done stuff when we go to theirs. Yes I know I could make 'better' but I'm not ungrateful and I'm entirely thankful not to be cooking!

I wouldn't do the fry up, people will be too full for lunch. I'd go for croissants and Bucks Fizz.

I think it all sounds lovely OP but like a lot of work for you! I agree with others that you could skip the starters (I never serve one) and, unless you particular want it, the gammon too - maybe you can have that on Boxing Day?

They’re seriously veering into CF territory!

I’d send a message now to manage their expectations.

“Hi in-laws. We’re trying to work out our schedule here and will have to make some adjustments to Christmas Day. As we’re both busy right up till Christmas Eve we’ll need to skip the breakfast and just have dinner instead. We plan on serving at 4 so feel free to come any time from 2 onwards (or whatever time suits you.) looking forward to hosting you.”

I wouldn’t even mention any food preferences. I’d make whatever I wanted, allergies notwithstanding, and serve it. They’re under no obligation to eat it!

PIL sound a bit cheeky with their high expectations - can't go to a restaurant this year but not to worry as Lullabyebye's old mum is an excellent chef and will thus keep the standard!

They won't make any comments about lobster thermidore etc on the day will they?!

The most somebody turning up at mine at 11am on Christmas Day would get would be a glass of fizz and some nibbles. If they were lucky.

Trying to control the timings of the day by demanding a fry up at 11am is horrible and weird.

Ugh I can’t stand that...

They don’t get to invite themselves over! So rude!! They don’t get to dictate what foods you must offer, either! If they want a fry up they can make it themselves at home, and join you after.

Put a stop to this right now or your time hosting will be anythung but relaxing, you will stress the whole day long and you’ll be shattered afterwards. Get back to them in the affirmative if 11 for brunch suits you. Otherwise just tell them, quite directly, that they can come over at noon, or one o’clock, or whatever feels best and most convenient for you.

Your DP understand that he won’t win his mum’s love like this, right?

No, no! You must do it the way my late mother did. Refuse all offers of help while insisting on making everything from scratch then have a massive tantrum about how much work it is and how no one helps.

I have frozen roasties and Yorkshire’s, bottled sauces and a microwave pudding. Bought mince pies and brandy butter. It’s supposed to be fun!

I think you could have a LOT of fun serving Christmas dinner ready meals in their trays.

"Surprise! We thought we'd go with an easy meal so we had even more time to spend together. Isn't this so lovely!"

Her asking to come at 11 for breakfast is a bloody cheek. I'd either tell her that you have breakfast much earlier than that, or simply put out some mince pies and a few sausage rolls for when they arrive. With coffee if required.

Ditch the big fry up. It will be far too much.

The rest sounds fine to me. Lovely. And I love Tesco Finest frozen Yorkshire puddings. Nowt wrong with them.

Making your own crackers is something they could whistle for as far as I would be concerned. Sounds like making work for the sake of it. I'd buy them from M & S instead and just say nothing.

I think you are doing great though.

No fry up- a bacon sandwich or pastries with Buck’s Fizz.
Either the beef or ham, not both.
Canapés (ready made M&S) for starter instead of the other thing.
Pavlova or profiteroles for a lighter pudding option.

I will be round at 9 enjoy the day

If they want a big fry up, they can have one before they come to you. You're family, not staff.

@Ragwort with regards to the two meats I'm in Ireland and it's practically the law that you serve turkey and ham 😀😀😀. I thought it was always the same in the UK.

Fry up when you concern me... if only as a sharp appetite for Christmas dinner makes it all the more lovely 🙂.
Save the fry up for another day?
Sounds delicious .
You’ll do fine!👍

We always have whatever roast we’re having, plus a ham.

Sounds great.

If you are doing the prep and cooking remember that the law says “them that cooks don’t clear and wash up”. ( they sit down with a glass of wine/cup of coffee and either a box of chocs or a bowl of honey roast cashews.

Edit : Fry up would concern me as they’ll be too full to enjoy the lunch!

@LowlandLucky

I will be round at 9 enjoy the day

Lol I thought the same😂

YANBU in the least. Relax as much as possible on the day and enjoy the meal.