Moving to Bournemouth

[mapofeasterireland]

We live in London and my husband is from the south coast. He is desperate to move back and start a new life but I just don’t know how I feel about it.

I’ve worked really hard to build a network of amazing friends for me and my kids and he’s done nothing. He puts no effort in to his life and is now saying he’s unhappy and want to be by the sea. It doesn’t feel fair.

We have lots of amazing friends where we are. Our kids have play dates and sleepovers and there’s always something to do. Granted our local area is a bit rough but im nervous we will move and have absolutely nothing to do and it will be impossible to meet new people.

AIBU?

Do you realise how many homeless people there now are in Bournemouth? It won't be how your DH remembers it...

I went to Bournemouth and Poole twice this years. Loved it. Amazing beaches.

No way would I move from London to Bournemouth, you can go there in the summer if you want, only a couple of hours by train, yes the beach is nice but for a year round better place to live stay in London.
If he's so convinced he wants to move there visit now in winter and see how it is.
Check out "what's on in Bournemouth" and compare it to where you live now.

London is the best place to raise kids. Forget all the crap about fresh air, space to run around, yadda yadda yadda.

London has great parks, easy access to countryside for day trips, shit loads to do, great community spirit in the different boroughs, and your kids will be more switched on with a better understanding of different backgrounds and circumstances than if you lived in Bournemouth.

Dont go.

We moved to Bournemouth from London last year for a multitude of reasons, but it was a move home for us. There is no way I would have upped sticks and come here if A) we could have bought a house in London B) I didn't already have friends and family here. The summer was amazing even with Covid. But, by the time you factor in commuting to London/lower wages it isn't that much cheaper day to day.

Have to agree with everything @CrotchBurn says.
Bournemouth is not exactly diverse.

I live locally and have done for over 20 years. In 20 years the decline has been so stark we are now moving out. Yes the beaches are nice but packed in the summer. Local wages are not great and house prices are insane for the local wages. You can commute to London for work but the amount of time on the train and the amount of times the line gets blocked especially around Lyndhurst and Brockenhurst it will be a very very long day.

There are a lot nicer places to live, I would move back to London in a heartbeat but sadly can't afford it now.

No way would I ever move to Bournemouth from London. It's so far away from anything. As for the locals living in Bournemouth, I bet they can't even enjoy their lovely beach as it's jammed packed and that's the only advantage it has A few job opportunities, small town centre that lives like a typical Sunday after 5pm during weekdays and weekends and it's depressing. I won't change London for anything where you have excellent parks, alive 24/7 and plenty of activities to do and if you really want to experience of the great outdoors, it not far is it?

I grew up in the New Forest and now live in Bournemouth with my kids and husband. I love it and has a young vibe-loads to do and beautiful beaches and forest not far. Quite a studenty town and good nightlife and restaurants.
Yes it has its issues with homelessness but tell me a big town that doesn't?
It is quieter in the winter months but I would avoid the beaches in height of summer-full of tourists, but there are lots of family friendly places to visit instead. House prices can vary depending on which part of Bournemouth you are-again like any town, some parts are massively affluent and some are deprived. Come visit a few different times of the year and different places, not just the main beaches and town. I have family in London and always seems exciting to visit for the day, but I I actually couldn't think of anywhere worse to live. So busy, noisy and dirty....
Funny how we like what we know! Ultimately go with your gut

Where would you suggest in that area that is nicer?

@mapofeasterireland

Where would you suggest in that area that is nicer?

If you are set on Bournemouth I would look at Southbourne, Tuckton, Hengistbury areas. Good schools, family friendly but all very expensive. It depends on your budget for housing.

Some interesting responses. I don’t find Bournemouth to be a bad place at all and it’s relatively diverse. It’s very difficult as my husband is desperate to leave London and we can’t afford to live in the commuter belt and I’m not sure it’s our vibe anyway...

@ramblingsonthego we are viewing houses in southbourne. Can’t afford tuckton.

@OddSox123 this is reassuring thanks.

Southbourne is lovely, near to beach, lots of independent shops and restaurants, cafes etc. How old are your DC?

The homelessness issues in the south coast towns are scandalous. I wouldn't move to Bournemouth, nor Margate, Ramsgate, Dover, Eastbourne etc.

@helloxhristmas I live in Croydon so it literally couldn’t be worse

@DialsMavis they are 3 and 6

I would also look in the new forest, Lymington way. I prefer over that Bournemouth.

@ramblingsonthego lymington is a terrifying bubble. Not my bag

Before moving to BM I grew up in the forest and rented in Lymington. So overly costly-unless you want either ex council 2 up 2 down, or are rolling in money. And the clique Lymington people look down on anyone who doesn't own a yacht on the marina!
Hence why we moved to more affordable Bournemouth. Like said above, Christchurch/southbourne is nicer than BM centre itself but again comes with a price tag and a bit snobby...

There are some lovely areas in Dorset (I live in Dorset) and it is possible to commute to London still from areas of the eastern side/Hampshire/Wiltshire (I do). So you could be near Bournemouth, but personally no I wouldn't live in Bournemouth. It's a bit blah. I think I would prefer to live in Croydon and travel out for lots of weekends by the sea without the hassle of having to live there, the drab winters, the built up ness without the benefits of a big city like London. There are some lovely rural areas though, just Bournemouth and Poole town centres not my cup of tea. Be forewarned though now is probably not the time to make the move. The property market is stupid here at the moment because everyone is trying to do exactly this. Houses are being STC within 24 hours. I called about a viewing yesterday (we are also trying to move, but still in the area). House went up on Rightmove about 9pm the night before. They had 20 calls for a viewing in the 6 minutes since the office opened by the time I spoke with them. I would give it a year or two and see if your dh still feels the same.

I like Bournemouth and think there's more to do there than many other seaside areas. It is also close to beautiful countryside.
On the other hand, if you are in Croydon, you are not far from green country areas in Surrey and it's an easy drive down to the coast as well.

Be careful with the boscombe end of southbourne. Moordown/muscliffe is good and has very good schools

Your husband, and his social limitations, may well be the same wherever you live.

I am from Lymington , ran to Bournemouth at 18,then to London, now back to Bournemouth. We loved Southbourne, but chose Winton for schools and proximity to friends

But Winton high street is rough, I'm hoping for some gentrification! I asked about DC ages as not sure of secondary catchments for Southbourne, I have friends and family with unhappy daughters at Avonbourne, but they were happy with primary.