Moving to Bournemouth

[mapofeasterireland]

We live in London and my husband is from the south coast. He is desperate to move back and start a new life but I just don’t know how I feel about it.

I’ve worked really hard to build a network of amazing friends for me and my kids and he’s done nothing. He puts no effort in to his life and is now saying he’s unhappy and want to be by the sea. It doesn’t feel fair.

We have lots of amazing friends where we are. Our kids have play dates and sleepovers and there’s always something to do. Granted our local area is a bit rough but im nervous we will move and have absolutely nothing to do and it will be impossible to meet new people.

AIBU?

@mapofeasterireland Just sent you a message in response

This has been a very interesting read.

I was brought up in the West Midlands, then moved to south staffs. Spent 4 years living in london and now i live in Bournemouth with hubby and 3 kids. Homelessness is in your face here but it is no worse than london at all.

Personally I would not want to raise my kids in london having lived there. But love the multicultural vibe in London which is why we chose Bournemouth over any other seaside town. The cultural diversity is great to see here and where we live there is a real sense of community i've literally met people from so many countries and cities that have moved here to live and noone regrets it. Its a 'sort of' expat community. Loads of londoners, manks and Brummies who have converted to a life by the sea.

But honestly if you dont want to move somewhere you shouldnt. My impression of Bournemouth before i moved was not at all what its like in reality. Its not sleepy in the winter where i live and ive been so happy with the decision we have made.... so far. Wages are lower thats very true. But if one of you can work from home for a company not based in Dorset you will have the best of both worlds and not have to commute as much..Financially that is how we have made it work.

My partner has been the same about making friends and community where we live. He doesn't want to be here forever so he doesn't try. It's frustrating. I've given up hoping he will settle here and thinking I'll go ahead with the move he wants to make just because living with a discontented person is the worst. I just want to feel settled. Put down roots etc. Is that too much to ask.

Bournemouth person here. Think very carefully about schools when choosing where you live. The grammar school (boys) has settled on its reputation and isn’t as good as used to be. Primary schools - loads. Secondary - not many. Ensure you move as close to a secondary school as you can. Winton and Glenmoor schools used to be dire but are now oversubscribed and catchment is about a mile now. Down in Muscliffe area there is no catchment school now and you may get avonbourne which is a bus rise or a 30 minutes in the car job

i love living here but we do live on the outskirts. However everywhere in bournemouth seems to take 20 minutes in the car so all easily accessible

but think schools schools schools if you have kids

So helpful. Any Intel on St Peter's?

You need to check their admissions. A lot get in from sibling I think and obviously the church thing. It's over subscribed. Friends daughter went to the primary but didn’t get in due to siblings.

you need to go to each school website and check admissions criteria. Then move as close as you can to preferred secondary. Most primaries are now good in Bmth so wouldn’t worry too much about those. For the grammar you just need to be in a Bournemouth postcode area and pass the test and generally all then get a place

I’ve lived in southBourne Boscombe Westbourne Winton Muscliffe and family wise I would say southBourne or Muscliffe. Winton is very student zone. Westbourne mostly flats or million pound houses.

Buses are great. The M1 and M2 routes link the towns and run every 8 minutes.

things to do is getting better again. 80s was great but then it went rubbish for families. Things gradually coming back. Shops however are on the decline. Castlepoint is best. Or a trip to Southampton West Quay

PM me if need to know anything. I’ve lived here almost my whole life

It actually is now. My sons year at school had a very diverse mix of background wealth and religion. Jobs for teens aplenty due to the tourists.

having said that when we retire we are moving out to ringwood or wimborne or wool ! But I wouldn’t do that to my teen as I lived in ringwood as a teen and nothing at all to do

Thanks that's really helpful! Are there any secondary schools to avoid?

St aldhelms, Bourne academy

St aldhelms keeps being rebranded but we all know what is was called ha ha
don’t know about Bourne - heard conflicting comments
winton/Glenmoor/avonbourne all are in the same academy trust now
new one Livingstone Academy central bournemouth looks exciting - being built now open soon
grammar schools are ok but the academies are now knocking spots off them
Twynam is good I hear
Leaf is more sports and performing arts academy

You need to visit each school and see if the fit is right for your child. When we moved here we moved in to the Winton and Glenmoor catchment on friend's recommendations, but really disliked the school when we visited when DD was in year 6 so we didnt send her there . Some of her friends from primary are thriving and some hate it (same for Avonbourne). We are not religious and were out of catchment but really liked The Bishop of Winchester when we had a looked, despite only going along for the sake of it. Bourne Acadamy has a terrible reputation but my friend was very impressed when she looked round due to the SEND provision.

The Livingstone Academy is open for years 7 and 8, I know someone with a child in year 8 who is very happy with it.