To feel awful because my children hate almost all vegetables

[Sleepdeprived42long]

I have two boys (8 and 6). They both ate all the fruit and veg going when I weaned but my eldest started getting really fussy at around 2. Fast forward to now and I now have 2 children who will only eat broccoli (in small amounts). They hate any other vegetables. I’ve feel like I’ve tried everything over the years-hiding veg in sauce/soup, serving with meals but not making them eat, no pudding (we don’t have pudding anymore now), asking them to try it even if they don’t like it, explaining the risks associated with obesity etc. It came to a head tonight when I asked my son to try a piece of carrot and he gagged on it repeatedly at the dinner table. I’m at a complete loss and I’m lucky if they’re getting 1 serving a day, never mind 5! I feel awful because I feel I’ve failed them on this and I’m worried about their future health if they continue like this. Anyone have any experience of this and any advice to share?

fussy kids often improve if they have school dinners and see other kids eating it. Anecdotally , but it worked for my son

Serve up plenty of veg for you and your dh. Beans, peas, cauli, yum! The kids will have meat and potatoes only and watch you enjoying the veg.

@OulDoll

DS2(8) doesn't like vegetables at all. He says they're 'depression on a plate'.

This made me guffaw. Thank you!

You could try doing bolognese with vegetables. It's a hit! You use less meat and add courgettes/aubergine/mushrooms/carrots... chopped finely. Plus the tomato

I am the adult who was a veg-hating child. I still hate most veg, sorry. I eat more of them than I did - once I was allowed to try things at my own pace and without pressure, I got better. Probably from early teens, for me and your DC may well be the same. I'd let your DC eat what they like veg wise, offer other veg if they're interested but don't make a fuss. I learnt to like fruit and eat lots of that instead. I try to make sure I eat the veg I do like often.

Most of the veg I still don't eat smell REALLY bad to me. Really, really bad. No matter how nicely they're cooked. Hidden veg are also a problem. Not only do I think it's smug and duplicitous but I know perfectly well from the horrendous, uncomfortable wind I get afterwards. The last time I had "hidden" broccoli I had sudden, fairly fast onset diarrhoea. The cook in that instance has never tried a "secret veg" recipe again.

My oldest DS now aged 22 years was a very fussy eater ( nearly drove me bonkers) and would not eat anything green when small.I used to pulverise veggies and put them in stews sauces etc so he ate them without knowing.He always ate fruit though and I always put a small portion vegetables on his plate even if I knew he wouldn't eat them . I never fussed about it though .Fast forward to today he is vegetarian and a great chef and totally healthy!

fussy kids often improve if they have school dinners and see other kids eating it.

According to my MIL, my husband became a human dustbin after going to school. The food policy was one meal, no choice, take it or leave it, and one chance to eat it.

There are a lot of ideas here but just one more:

DS(now 8, he was 7 when we did this) does eat veg but had been becoming noticeably fussier over time. Last year we did a family A-Z challenge: we each tried to eat every letter of the alphabet over the course of a month. You could vary the rules to suit you but ours were 1) it has to count as one of your 5 a day according to the NHS (so fruit, veg or pulses) 2) you have to eat it in a recognisable form (so no juice, no carrot cake) 3) you have to eat enough to count as a portion (i told DS his was half an adult portion)

As time when on and we were left with the tricky letters I relaxed the rules somewhat. If he was willing to try a new thing I didn't force him to finish it if he hated it - but I also didn't count it on the chart if it wasn't a full portion.

It was good for DS, he got better at trying foods and found several new 'acceptable' veg too.

Hmm. Not sure if it's been advised, but get them involved in prepping foods, food that they may not like, but, it's part of the recipe that doesnt seem to be too much of a vocal part of the meal.

For example, DD hated onions, but they are part of the bolognese sauce. Ditto tomatoes. I even put small bits of red pepper and mushrooms in.
I used to say, ok, I know you hate these, but we dont taste them in spaghetti bolognese, how about you help me? She used to help me cut the mushrooms with a butter knife. I'd always say as I was eating my dinner, oh happiness! These mushrooms are delicious. Thank you for making these mushrooms so yummy. Or I'd tell her dad that she cut them, or helped pick which pepper I'd use and he would say how lovely the pepper made the meal.
She would sit so happy eating those meals. Now shes not too bothered about what's put infront of her fruit and veg wise.

We also set her challenges for veggies when she was younger. So she tried to eat a tiny piece of every vegetable which was served.

Maybe that might help, a tiny bit.

Overall, veggies can be hidden in meals like pasta and curries.

I was the same OP. I loved veg as a baby and toddler, then got very picky until my teens.

Now I'm a vegetarian and will eat pretty much any food except olives. At the weekend I had a 'roast dinner' that was just a pile of veg and a Yorkshire pudding. Can't get enough of it.

There is a cbeebies show called something like "my world kitchen" where children taste a "special ingredient" which they all hate, which is then cooked into a tasty dish they all love. I watch this with my DC and remind him that sometimes things taste different in different dishes and he might like X in this. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't... it's on iplayer.

@DownRightAmazing, I love the A-Z challenge idea! This might be our family's new year's resolution!

@MrsToothyBitch

I am the adult who was a veg-hating child. I still hate most veg, sorry. I eat more of them than I did - once I was allowed to try things at my own pace and without pressure, I got better. Probably from early teens, for me and your DC may well be the same. I'd let your DC eat what they like veg wise, offer other veg if they're interested but don't make a fuss. I learnt to like fruit and eat lots of that instead. I try to make sure I eat the veg I do like often.

Most of the veg I still don't eat smell REALLY bad to me. Really, really bad. No matter how nicely they're cooked. Hidden veg are also a problem. Not only do I think it's smug and duplicitous but I know perfectly well from the horrendous, uncomfortable wind I get afterwards. The last time I had "hidden" broccoli I had sudden, fairly fast onset diarrhoea. The cook in that instance has never tried a "secret veg" recipe again.

@MrsToothyBitch do you think you are allergic/intolerant? Maybe your revulsion at some vegetables is your body's way of protecting you if the broccoli made you so ill?

@NeurologicallySpeaking yes, I do! My mum has come around to this idea now I'm older, too. It was very hard as a child. I'm not sure what I'd do with my own DC- I'd want them to try but wouldn't want to force it. I am open to the idea that they could be like me but I also wouldn't want to be too easily led by that and would like to try and give them as balanced a diet as possible!

My 13 old eats no fruit or veg, at all. I’ve stopped stressing. He’s actually thrown up when I’ve made him eat them. I try to make sure he eats healthily otherswise.

Well I am starting weaning second baby this week. We literally do one fruit or veg per day for that reason even though I know that isn't really the done thing these days.

DD1 was sensitive to some fruit and veg as a baby and grew out of it as her digestion matured. Whereas the fact she can eat cheese on a pizza but refuses to as a block suggests that is a preference!

I would just get really petty and ONLY serve vegetables for every meal until they stopped being so ridiculous. My four year old tries to tell me he doesn’t like carrots, I tell him he’s mistaken, he LOVES carrots. He tries to say it again and I pop a piece of carrot in his mouth 🤭

I don’t mind them having preferences as they get older. But right now they’ll eat the things I put infront of them (and most of the time it’s stuff I know they like). But I’m not encouraging ‘I hate this and I hate that’ as I know it’s come from other kids or else bloody George Pig!

My son hardly ate any fruit or veg as a young child. Not for want of trying. He had school lunch every day for five years (no choice, take it or leave it - French school) and he often ate only a piece of plain baguette and a yoghurt.

We got him to eat peas and green beans but those were the only veg he would touch for years.

Roll on to the teenage years and he became distinctly less fussy - partly I think because his French girlfriends laughed at him, partly because he was just hungrier. He's 17 now and living away from home and will literally eat anything if someone else cooks it for him

Also it's all very well to whizz your virtuous spinach and carrots into sauces, but truly fussy kids often don't like sloppy foods. My DS refused all types of sauces for many years - he'd eat plain pasta but if you put a dollop of bolognaise sauce on top he'd carefully pick out the uncontaminated pasta shapes and leave the sauce.

@justanotherneighinparadise I’m so glad that worked for you. I don’t think that would work for us give DS would likely throw up and I draw the line at putting food into his mouth. If he refused to eat every meal of veg, would you suggest just letting him get hungry? I’m not really comfortable with that either.

I would totally disagree with only giving vegetables tbh. I would loathe this as an adult and it’s making a battle of food.

@Haggisfish I agree!

Disguise the veg. Give vegetarian meals, veggie burgers, veggies ragout with pasta, or you just sit with a big bowl of lovely vegetables and hummus and tell your boys “you won’t like it” I always found my children wanted to eat anything if I was enjoying it! I guarantee they will want to try carrot stick or bell pepper stick if you are enjoying it first.

Beans. On toast counts as veggies, get creative.

I always found my children wanted to eat anything if I was enjoying it! I guarantee they will want to try carrot stick or bell pepper stick if you are enjoying it first.

That's not how fussy children behave ....

I always smile at these suggestions (eat at the same time! let the kids help prepare meals! whizz veg into sauces!) because (a) if that worked you don't have a fussy child (b) do you really think parents with fussy kids haven't tried these blatantly obvious things? Lol

@Mistigri so true! I’ve tried all the obvious things with eldest DS over the last 6 years. He’s not easily fooled!