To feel awful because my children hate almost all vegetables

[Sleepdeprived42long]

I have two boys (8 and 6). They both ate all the fruit and veg going when I weaned but my eldest started getting really fussy at around 2. Fast forward to now and I now have 2 children who will only eat broccoli (in small amounts). They hate any other vegetables. I’ve feel like I’ve tried everything over the years-hiding veg in sauce/soup, serving with meals but not making them eat, no pudding (we don’t have pudding anymore now), asking them to try it even if they don’t like it, explaining the risks associated with obesity etc. It came to a head tonight when I asked my son to try a piece of carrot and he gagged on it repeatedly at the dinner table. I’m at a complete loss and I’m lucky if they’re getting 1 serving a day, never mind 5! I feel awful because I feel I’ve failed them on this and I’m worried about their future health if they continue like this. Anyone have any experience of this and any advice to share?

That's hard OP and some excellent suggestions on this thread. If it helps my brother was the gag on vegetables type but started eating anything and everything like a horse from mid teens. Now he is flirting with veganism!

My DH still won't eat anything except peas and carrots when it comes to veg. Maybe peppers if I cook them to very very soft.

11 year old will eat strawberries, grapes, an apple but only two bites lol and peas and babycorn. She also did the physically gagging thing on broccoli.

16 year old will eat anything that's put in front of her even though she isn't a huge fruit fan and barely ever eats it.

Love it when my eldest's gf comes round because her parents never cook and veg and she will eat everything and be hugely appreciative!

I spent years stressing over fruit and veg intake, wish I had just let it go as the stressing makes no difference at all and if anything just turns the whole thing into an exhausting battle!

I only ate carrots and peas and a couple more vegetables in soup. It's not good..... I insist my kids have vegetables.

Firstly I overcook them! You need to be able to cut them with a spoon. They become very soft and much sweeter. You can also drizzle a tiny bit of honey (honey roasted carrots are a big thing but works with other vegetables as well)

My other trick when kids refuse their dinner. For lunch I cut it small, fry it and add some Philadelphia cheese. And it's all gone!!!!

Make sure they have plenty of fruit!

DS10 is like this over green veg, but I try to console myself that both and exH were really fussy about the same as children, but now eat everything. He has fruit, the veggies he will eat, and a multivitamin, and other than that am just hoping it will change as he gets older.

At least you are attempting it and hopefully they will get there eventually. As a child I would eat all kinds of veg and now to be honest I don't like many. My dn never ate any vegetables when weaning but is now coming around and eats sweetcorn and carrots. My kids love vegetables and will eat things that make me want to heave like broccoli and butternut squash. I always try to centre their meals around at least one type of vegetable and have two meat free days a week for us all.

I think perserverence is key, eating the same yourself and offering small amounts.

There used to be a tv programme called the House of tiny terrors. Virtually all the DC featured either had eating issues or sleeping ones.

The technique used, if I remember correctly, was to repeatedly put a tiny, tiny amount of the food, say one pea, and eventually they’d try it.

However I used a method more similar to @Babdoc and it was more fun. DS1 was a shocker. He’s now an adult and a vegetarian so don’t give up hope.

I think most people change their tastes considerable in late teenage/early adult years. I joke that DS2 had a phase when he ate only pot noodles; he's now considering going vegetarian.

I second the tinned sweetcorn! DDs absolutely love it!

Have you got a juicer? Buy one!

The only reason my autistic little monkey hasn’t got scurvy

(He’s fine now and shovels it all in - things change!)

Half a bag of spinach and 6 apples - he couldn’t taste the spinach

Watermelon with a tomato thrown in - undetected

Hidden veg sauce will work if they eat tomato sauce on pasta or pesto. Just use a nutribullet and blend it smooth. Don't put too much to change the flavour to start. Red peppers are notorious for making everything taste strongly of red pepper when blended for example.

Let them try something none of you have tried from the supermarket.

Serve the vegetable / fruit they do eat repeatedly.

Serve from sharing dishes in the centre of the table so they can just have half a tsp if they like.

Cook in lots of different ways- with a sauce, with garlic, fajita spices, roasted with honey etc. Do all of this for you and DH and you eat it so it doesn't go waste and you don't make a fuss if they don't eat it.

They might surprise you- DD wanted soup and bread in a café. The soup of the day was celeriac. DH and I thought she'd never eat that but they gave her a taster and she loved it. One of the very few vegetables I can't stand!

As PP has said don't let this be the hill you die on. Just add one extra veg to their plate in v small portions and leave it at that for now. When they get their big teenage appetites you will notice a shift.

We have fussy veg eaters but they try everything on their plate as we just encourage "positive eating" as in, don't complain and moan and try everything on your plate and I consider it a winner.

My son won't eat fruit either. My daughter eats everything - will often have a salad for lunch, and we have to restrict her fruit intake, or she would empty the fruit bowl daily. My son - the occasional raw carrot and some raisins. We raised them in exactly the same way.

‘Hidden veg sauce will work if they eat tomato sauce on pasta or pesto.’

There’s some great stuff in your post but please don’t say ‘this WILL work IF’. As someone who has been there and tried pretty much everything I know it’s not true and frankly it makes me want to cry.

Another one who has one that eats everything and another that super fussy. I don't think you can do much except regularly encourage them to retry things and have a lot of meals where the veg is quite hidden (if they'll eat it)!

Will they drink smoothies? You can pack LOADS of goodness into just one glass of those, and if you make them when they're not looking, they won't even know what's in them! Make a big thing about them being a treat, a special smoothie, or whatever you need to do. But make sure they're 100% smooth!

My DS 12 eats completely different fruit and veg than he did when I weaned him, I think your tastes just change. When he was a baby up until age 4 he would eat butternut squash, turnip, kale, spinach, peppers,peas, pear, kiwi, peach, nectarines, grapes, cherries . Now he won’t any of them and now eats swede, cauliflower, Brussels (only with bacon) carrots, broccoli on occasion, mini corns (won’t touch sweet corn though) cabbage, mango, pineapple, watermelon, banana, apple (only red ones) onions. Its stressful trying to buy fruit though, him and his sister eat completely different fruit. So costs me a fortune. She eats blueberry, grapes, orange, satsumas and green apples 🤦🏼‍♀️ Luckily they eat the same veg and she eats peas and sweet corn so more of a variety.

My daughter hated all vegetables until she was 14.

She’s now 22 and a vegetarian

I have another child who ate everything.

Same weaning plan. It’s not your fault. They will grow out of it.

Wow thanks so much for all your replies. I don’t feel anywhere near so awful now-thank you all

It's not your fault!

I've got 3 and they are all different, even though they had all the same flipping Annabelle Carmel purées and wholesome home cooked weaning foods. (Oh, the hours I wasted!!)

No1 eats most things and always has - although we battled over broccoli stalks for many years no 2 eats a good variety but not potatoes / squash / etc and DC 3 (8) was just like yours & ate all sorts til he was 2 and is now a refuser.

Fortunately he eats most of the basic veg (carrots, peas, broccoli) but will not eat cheese or ham or eggs or pastry or lasagne or anything outside his usual food repertoire. It makes family cooking very frustrating,

I did get him to eat yellow peppers by doing the "taste it repeatedly & you will come to like it method", but I think the most important thing is for you not to get stressed out. Give them their vitamins & all will be well - they sound like healthy kids!

Ps none of mine will eat cauliflower. Even as cauliflower cheese. Weirdos.

Pps - I got them to imbibe spinach by letting them make their own smoothies - good way to let them experiment with flavours. Strawberry & banana with one spinach leaf - guess what, you can't taste the spinach!

My DS(5) started becoming fussy at 14 months onward and it’s escalated over time. He was under a dietician for 18 months and assessed by an Occupational Therapist for possible sensory issues with food and all conclude he’s choosing to be fussy. All you can do is keep offering a variety of food and hope that one day they expand their food choices.

I wish DS would eat things like bolognese, quiche and soup etc so I could hide veges in those but he refuses to even try.

I find it so frustrating when people say that insist that their DC just try a food once and they do so, or that offering a food 15-20 times means the child will cave and try a mouthful. Sometimes the severely fussy are just too stubborn, yet like mine don’t meet the threshold for AFRID.

The dietician and OT both confirmed we have tried absolutely everything to expand DS’ diet and there is nothing more we can do but watch and wait (and offer a variety of food of course).

My DD will only eat Broccoli ,onions some peppers and grapes /the odd apple .Thats about it! I think when she was younger only Broccoli ,ham Roast Chicken ,Spag bol and the grapes (white ones only!) In her 20s now and average weight/height .Probably going to be flamed now ,but some years ago the GP told me that all food is "good". Ie better than being a poor starving waif out in India (He had first hand experience of this from working out there for a while)!

@dottiedodah I think the GP is on to something there and it needs to be echoed.

@IamTomHanks

I've read somewhere (be damned if I can find it now) that refusing veg and fruit as children is actually instinctual. The most poisonous things are often brightly colored, and improperly washed fruit and veg carry a high risk of food poisoning, so children instinctually avoid it.

There's also the matter that they taste things much more strongly then adults, so a bitter vegetable is much more bitter, sour much more sour, etc.

So I wouldn't feel bad OP. I think it's pretty normal. (Mine are the same).

Yes, I have read this as well.

It makes sense coming from a time when we lived in forests and foraged for food. As the baby starts to roam away from a parent it's important to instinctively be suspicious of vegetables as they might be poisonous.

No offence intended @TheCountessofFitzdotterel obviously if your child has ASD or AFRID or extreme views on food for other reason then I expect it won't work in the slightest. But for a child who has just decided they don't like something, they simply won't taste a cube of carrot blitzed into a tomato sauce or a couple of spinach leaves blended into homemade pesto. Clearly there is a tipping point when they can!

Im lucky my DD fortunately eats well but there are a few very very common foods she just won't tolerate. Funnily enough if she doesn't know they are in something or if they are with something sweet then those 'rules' don't apply.

Some children have far greater difficulties for various reasons but the majority do just get these ideas in their heads. As do plenty of adults tbh.