To feel awful because my children hate almost all vegetables

[Sleepdeprived42long]

I have two boys (8 and 6). They both ate all the fruit and veg going when I weaned but my eldest started getting really fussy at around 2. Fast forward to now and I now have 2 children who will only eat broccoli (in small amounts). They hate any other vegetables. I’ve feel like I’ve tried everything over the years-hiding veg in sauce/soup, serving with meals but not making them eat, no pudding (we don’t have pudding anymore now), asking them to try it even if they don’t like it, explaining the risks associated with obesity etc. It came to a head tonight when I asked my son to try a piece of carrot and he gagged on it repeatedly at the dinner table. I’m at a complete loss and I’m lucky if they’re getting 1 serving a day, never mind 5! I feel awful because I feel I’ve failed them on this and I’m worried about their future health if they continue like this. Anyone have any experience of this and any advice to share?

My almost 3 year old will only eat carrots, peas, sweetcorn, broccoli and green beans (but only if they're cut up really small). Also sweet potato chips! He'll also eat chopped tomatoes in a sauce but not tomatoes otherwise. Won't touch the yummy vegetable soups and stews they serve at his nursery.

I realise that's an ok list, but I've been trying to get him to broaden his range recently - it's my fault we've fallen into a bit of a rut with food (I'm a lazy, unadventurous cook who makes the same 5 dinners week in, week out).

Something we've tried which might work even better with older children is fruit and vegetable tasting. Select ten fruits and vegetables which are a bit different, cook/prepare bite sized portions and then offer chocolate buttons for each one they try. Then your kids could rank the ones they like most/least from 1 to 10 and you could add the winners to their regular diet. My son did smiley face stickers in a picture chart of each fruit and vegetable - happy face, ok face, sad face. I plan to re-test with the rejected fruits and vegetables cooked a different way later this month!

Another option - cook them differently? Vegetable fritters or muffins. Vegetable linguine. Get the kids involved in preparing them. Make pizza and add pepper and mushrooms. Vegetable crudites with a cheese dip.

What is the rest of their diet like? Is there or has there been a lot of sweet and/or salty food, including hidden sugar like jars of pasta sauce, ketchup, Flavoured yoghurts etc? If so this won’t help as vegetables don’t taste sweet or salty. You could try cutting it all out and I would just keep putting vegetables on their plate for every meal, both the vegetables they will eat and also those they won’t.

At 20 I've finally persuaded dd1 to eat cabbage (stir fried with soy sauce garlic and ginger, also tender steak broccoli (not normal broccoli). She's away most of the time of course but her eating habits suck. Her sister eats everything known to man. Go figure

I’m sorry if this is no help, but dd who likes broccoli also likes boiled savoy cabbage which really surprised me- I just wondered if the two tastes/textures might be similar enough that if they eat broccoli they might find boiled cabbage ok too.

I ate one vegetable until I was 19 and travelling around the world with friends. Now I eat almost any, dont stress about it, just keep doing what you're doing! I blitz veg into tomato pasta sauce and the DC never catch me,maybe try that?

Yep, lay off all co-ercive, punitive, hard sell techniques., and keep up the fruit and the vitamin tablets.

Potato wedges and sweet potato wedges, home made and with the skin on?

Bolognese sauce, tomato based with onions - that counts!

Hummus with breadsticks?

Nachos with tomato salsa and guacamole?

Home made root veg crisps? Slice thin with a potato peeler, barely coat with oil, bake on a non stick sheet for 12 mins in a v hot oven. Or til they go crispy and dry.

Will they eat corn on the cob (like cowboys) with loads of butter?

Just things to try in a relaxed no-pressure way.

@MindThatTree

My kids are the same. I was the same growing up. Now I eat nearly all veg. I don’t think you need to feel awful about it.

Exactly, me too. My 10 year old won't even eat potatoes in any form apart from a few fries if in a restaurant.

I grew out of being a vegetable hater, DP did too. Time solves the problem (eventually!)

My Ds was exactly the same.
And would eat no salad at all.

One day my Mum was eating with him and started a silly game in role as rabbits. Nibbling a lettuce leaf. A tiny bit. And that sorted salad eating. Your eldest is probably too old for that though.

P.S by age 12 he ate everything including stuff I won’t touch, like okra.

Don't worry! I have twin DS, now 19. But one eats everything - all veg, very few dislikes, loves cooking, tries new food. One eats almost no veg, little fruit, prefers to only eat what he knows, is pretty fussy and will spends ages separating out food he likes from what he dislikes if mushrooms or similar land on his plate as part of something I have cooked. I brought them up exactly the same so who knows why.

I haven't beat myself up about it.

There is not one vegetable my 5 year old eats, and only fruit he'll eat is oranges, bananas, strawberries, grapes and raspberries. I think for him he's very sensitive to textures and colours! 3 year old is better but still not great with most veg!

In my experience young ones prefer raw more often than not - so carrots, cucumber, baby toms, bell peppers (although I think a couple of these might technically be fruit!) are going to be much more easily received than spinach, cooked peas, cooked carrots etc.

Don’t push the issue. I was from a family that wouldn’t let me leave the table without eating all my vegetables. Despised them growing up, and didn’t start eating them again until my mid 20s when my tastebuds grew up.

They changed tactic with my (much younger) sibling who, if tried something once and didn’t like it, never had to eat it again. The emphasis was that they had to try it though. Happily munched veg all through childhood and into adulthood because it was never the enemy to them.

Would they drink a fruit smoothie? You can make pretty nice “ milkshakes” as I call them with frozen & fresh fruit and add a tiny amount of frozen spinach ( frozen has less flavour than fresh). Throw some cucumber or avocado in there too. Banana or cherries go well with a raw cocoa with a dairy or non dairy milk to mask the veg flavour.

Using a Nutribullet I should have said. ( I dare say easy enough to find second hand now )

haven't read through the whole thread so apologies if i'm repeating a suggestion but a really good way to hide things in sauce, especially in Bolognese, is to grate the veg! My mum used to do this to my brother who was such a picky eater. She used to grate carrot onto the mince before adding the sauce and tbh you couldn't really see it at all once it was all mixed up. She used to do this with loads of raw veg, courgettes etc. My brother was none the wiser lol.

Smoothies is also a good shout, although I know they are really expensive, and shop brought ones can be quite sugary.

but they make me think some people must never have experienced a child who really, really won’t eat vegetables!

That was me. I didn't start to grow out of it until my mid 20s.

Looking back, I think it may have been me trying to get attention in a large family.

I heard a great interview on the radio about children being fussy eaters. The psychologist said it can also be a control thing as well as a taste. Children have no control over their lives - where they live, go to school - but they can control what they eat. She suggested bringing the children into the meal planning and cooking. So sitting down on a Sunday and asking for their input into what they want to eat next week, then having them help with the prep. The caveat is that you have to explain to them about why they need to eat fruit and veg so they understand its importance and they then decide themselves they want to eat it. Also having children hungry before dinner is important. Bon Appetit means good appetite, if they're hungry they'll be less picky.

My two DCs were similar. DS is now 30, fit and well, but remains a bit of a veggie dodger. He will definitely have to improve his eating habits as he gets older but I have a smug “i told you so” ready for him. He has mild autism and heightened sensory awareness which doesn't help.

DD is 27 and now vegetarian.

They are who they are. Do what you can and have realistic expectations.

‘He has mild autism and heightened sensory awareness which doesn't help.’

Same here with ds1. He has sometimes noticed if I have used the chopping board for something else before cutting up stuff for him. No getting away with hidden vegetable sauces there unfortunately!

I got my DDs to eat a wide range of veg by playing a game with them at mealtimes. Say I served green beans. The DD refuse to eat them.
I tell them they only have to eat the Queen of the beans, they can leave the rest.
How do they find the queen? They put each bean in their mouth and chew. I do “voices” for each bean.
“I’m King Bean! How dare you chew me, you horrible little girl! Stop it at once! Don’t even think about swallowing me!”
DD chews harder and swallows in triumph. The subsequent beans turn out to be variously the Captain of the Queen’s guard, the palace gardener, (with oo arr accent) a smarmy courtier etc.
Strangely, Queen Bean was always the last to be found. As was Queen Courgette, Queen Sprout, Queen Artichoke....
The DDs didn’t twig until long after they’d got used to and developed a taste for vegetables- or perhaps they just enjoyed the game and didn’t want to spoil the fun!

Don’t feel awful. My DC have never had a jar of baby food or ready made meal in their life. Everything was always made from scratch. One DD has never eaten veg (apart from the hidden ones) until she started yr7. It was like a switch being turned on for her. I never really made a big issue out of it because whatever she didn’t eat in veg she made up in fruit consumption. She became interested in cooking and all on her own started trying different vegetables.

I only ate peas and carrots for about a decade. Perfectly healthy, fully functioning adult now that eats all veg. Leave them to it, offer it but let it go as an issue.
No-one would’ve ever been able to make me eat anything from 2-12. After that I sorted myself out.

That’s hilarious Babdoc.
The only really successful vegetable related game I ever did was giving ds2 a big cardboard box to wear on his back and putting lettuce on the floor so he could be a tortoise. It doesn’t work now he’s 11 but he will still nibble a morsel of lettuce, which is more than he will do with most veg.

No advice at all, but if it helps you feel better, I once found myself syringing vegetable puree into a pork pie, as they were about the only food ds would eat.

(It was unsuccessful)

@Catsup

Second pp on helping them to grow their own when the season comes. Doesn't have to be a full on allotment. Just a tomato and strawberry plant each or similar. They might feel they want to try what they've grown?

My eldest loves helping out in our allotment, and gets excited watching things grow. However he still won't eat any of it 😂