To Think My Parents Have No Idea What Life Is Really Like?

[GreenlandTheMovie]

for most people?

DM was a teacher, DF some kind of computer repair engineer but took early retirement at 50. Yes, 50. Never worked again. Both on final salary pension schemes.

They were moaning this week about how "poor" they are, because their pensions don't entitle them to more than index-linked increases to keep up with inflation, unlike people in salaried jobs who can get actual pay rises (I haven't had much of a pay rise in the last decade but theres no telling them). Apparently, they don't have enough money to "do the things they want" without using their savings.

The "things they want to do" include having a large holiday home in France where they normally decamp 6 months of the year, having a Carribbean cruise and a holiday to China last year, similar holidays in previous years, and running their 5 bedroom house. They have a nearly new luxury motorhome and 2 cars. They have also benefitted from 2 large inheritances from relatives dying.

Theres no telling them - apparently, life is very unfair and hard on pensioners like them and retiring at 50 is not at all unreasonable because of the way the company was run.

I’m an oldie, but although we had to struggle sometimes, ie 15% interest on mortgages in the 80s, we were able to purchase houses at reasonable prices compared to people under 40 these days. Many of us had the Choice to be stay at home mums' these days many young families couldn’t pay their mortgages or rent on one income xxx

YANBU. My parents bought their home from my grandparents (it was their holiday home in the mountains) for the market rate back then (the equivalent of £20k ) but of course didn't have to pay interest on the loan. We were never ostentatiously well off but they had help I will never get.

@renallychallenged

My in laws are the same. Narcissistic alcoholics. Millions in assets. Living off inheritance, their pensions & pensions of deceased previous spouses. We never see a penny but some is passed onto step relations in a very unequal manner. It's a manipulative shit show and will likely only improve when they die.

@renallychallenged

”narcissistic alcoholics” This fascinates me! They both are? For how many years? And who diagnosed them, a psychiatrist or a psychologist? Or perhaps their general MD - but wait, would their normal GP have the qualifications to diagnose NPD? Has their alcoholism affected their NPD? It must be a heavy burden on you & your DP.

I’m an oldie, but although we had to struggle sometimes, ie 15% interest on mortgages in the 80s, we were able to purchase houses at reasonable prices compared to people under 40 these days. Many of us had the Choice to be stay at home mums' these days many young families couldn’t pay their mortgages or rent on one income xxx

Thank you @LadySinfiaSnoop for telling it like it is!

One thing to look forward to is a boom in inheritance as all us boomers die off. It will peak in 2035 according to this report. www.bbc.com/news/amp/uk-42519073 Unless, of course, the government find a way of taxing it to pay for the current lockdown borrowing.

In response to the last sentence - they absolutely will if we get a Labour government in power any time soon. My advice to the boomer generation would be to spend spend spend and enjoy your retirement to the max.

I think some people, regardless of age, just don't have much empathy. For years my parents made it very clear they were 'disappointed' (ie embarrassed to admit to their friends) that I had 'failed' to buy a house, or do what they considered a sufficiently prestigious job. It took DH and I being kicked out of our longterm rental before they grasped the reality of the deposit trap, and finally paid forward the help they themselves had received from my DGPs. On the job front, now I've got that promotion they complain that I have less time and energy to attend upon them. Can't win, given up trying 🤷‍♀️ you have my sympathy OP.

@FirstOfficerDouglas

What is the point of this thread? For OP to tell us all what awful parents she has? Or for a lot of other people to start an ageist rant.?

There is no humour, no intellectual content, nothing educational, nothing to learn. There is also very little understanding of "what life was like" in any other period or in any other country/ social class than the posters''s own.

Exactly, @FirstOfficerDouglas. And it’s not the parents of all these people I hear bitching and moaning and complaining, either. Not a flattering look, is it.

GreenlandTheMovie I didn't assume that you had a grudge against pensioners. Your problem is clearly with your own mum and dad. I was just pointing out, to you and anyone else who felt that everything is cushy for their parents, that a) it is not like that for everyone and b) old age is crap in some ways, even for those who are financially blessed. It's not all sunlit uplands...

Too many of the younger generation want everything right now. They are not prepared to have a tiny flat and move through property until they get up the property ladder. They want two new cars so get those on PCP. They can not be expected to do without automatic washing machines, tumble triers or dishwashers. This is not some airy fairy idea I have heard all this from my own DC
I started off in a tiny flat. We did not have a washing machine, there was not even room for one. We did have a fridge with a tiny 4 x 9 inch freezer inside. We had no car at first. We both worked. We then moved to a bigger flat then a semi detached house. We got a car along the way which was paid cash. We did not have any hire purchase at all. The only thing we had was the mortgage at 12.5 per cent.
Time moved on and now DC are grown up and they want 4 bed detached houses when the truth is they are behind on their rents with the council. They had driving lessons as teenagers but were more interested in the boyfriends of the moment to actually be there. They were hoping we would fund them to get on the property ladder but as their partners did not have any money and their parents (of the partners) were not putting forward any money, we decided it would be too uneven to put up money from one side only. The partners were unhappy with this but we worked hard for what we have and would have liked to help our own DC but we have already watched some very obvious situations which indicate that probably money is our only attractive feature, so we didn't.
It is hard to see our DC in difficulties with finance. It is equally hard to know that money is all that we are good for.

They have worked for their income and are entitled to spend it how they wish now they have retired, I can’t help think you are desperately worried that you won’t inherit very much?

My mum is also like this. My dad works in a well paid job, my mum still works full time but has zero bills to pay except her small car (my dad pays all the bills) she is always spending and getting packages delivered and still complains about money. I was a single mum for some time working trying to make ends meet with no financial help from DS dad, when she made these comments especially when I was at that particular stage in my life it drove me crazy. Some people don’t know how lucky they are.

@WorrierorWarrior - I appreciate there were many in your situation.
However my parents went straight into a 4 bed detached when married. All new furniture. Both had new cars. Large utility room with big freezer and washing machine and tumble drier. Stay at home mum and dad retired early and they went off to sunnier climes. Always used credit cards (although paid them off). And good for them. They are very grateful for all they have.

I save for anything I need. Never used credit. We started in a small flat with only a small fridge. Now in a 2 bed terrace. No room for a tumble drier even if I wanted one. Never had a new car. I am grateful for everything I have and for the support my parents have given me.

It gets worse too when they get ill and you end up running around after them like a blue arsed fly with zero gratitude.

@WorrierorWarrior the thing is, many of us will never move through property. We're in our early forties, have degrees, have worked for years and years, and cannot afford to buy in the area where our jobs are. Meanwhile in-laws didn't go to college, worked for a big company, bought a house in their 20s and went on from there. Now they are retired, own three houses, two cars, one boat, have 3 vacations per year and keep asking why we haven't bought a house yet.

My dear parents.. bought their council house with right to buy. Sold it for a bomb plus an inheritance meant they moved to a nice part of town.
They worked in social care for the local authority and were earning 9.50 per hour this was over 20 years ago! To save money the authority made them all redundant (don't know why TUPE wasn't in play but this did happen) and of course did well out of it.
My mother couldn't understand why I couldn't get a council house (because every fecker bought theirs). They did work hard, tremendously! But oh things were so different and the planets aligned beautifully for them.

I meet a lot of the Boomer generation and while it is certainly not correct to generalise, I do notice there are a number who managed to retire early with relative wealth without having worked in highly paid jobs. It really was an exceptionally lucky generation.

Child benefit and housing benefit is only paid now because it's practically impossible to live on some full time jobs. Housing costs are huge as are childcare costs. The UK is actually not great at subsidising childcare.

Some Boomers appreciate their luck and some don't. But they were not an especially hard working generation compared with any other. They were the same but economically more fortunate.

Also just for balance....
(I’m not retired, I’m in the middle between generations and can see from both perspectives)
Yes, your parents will have lived through the crippling 15% mortgage rate, the shops post-war (for a decade or more afterwards?) had little and if any and very restricted goods. It was exciting for our parents when “exotic” household goods came in to BHS from Hong Kong, China and all these new far off places, TV, if affordable was black and white, no fridge until 1963?
1980 - no carpets, no furniture, no home phone, no mattress or bed, sleeping on inflatable camping mattresses, no washing machine, no dryer.
And 6 whole years added relatively late in the day on to our retirement age (6 years added on to a working life is as a percentage, pretty huge)...I know that it affects everyone going forwards, but a slower incremental rate in the retirement age would have been much fairer...

Your DPs sound pretty delusional OP. Do they really buy a new motorhome every 2 years?

15% was on much lower house prices compared to wages though. My parents bought a 7 bed townhouse for 42k in the 80s, sold it for 4 times that 4 years later, and it would now sell for 800k. In that time wages have gone up maybe 50%. So a 42k house on 20k wages or an 800k house on 30k wages. Same house, same job, but 30years later.

Oh ffs Owl55 get with the programme. I'm not going to inherit anything. I have a good job and do own a house and I'm not exactly hanging around trying to get them to leave me stuff in their will. They're going to spend it all and then it will go in nursing home fees anyway. Im actually low contact because they upset me so much. I also don't u derstand how two people in such ordinary jobs ended up with such a millionaire lifestyle in their retirement but i do know they are lying to me about not having received any inheritances. And that really upsets me. That they consider money more important than being truthful to their own daughter. Quite why they're lying, I don't know.

Please do stop making up utter nonsense.

Every generation benefits from the actions of the previous. Yes we could afford to buy a house but we spent every last spare minute refurbishing and lived on wedding present furniture and second hand white goods. Todays young just want to move into new homes with all work done and a trip to IKEA. Bold one sided comment. Just like the original post. I've now retired but with a damaged shoulder/ damaged knee/ cancer and a heart valve. Do I not deserve to have some luxury. Incidentally, we give very generously to our 2 sons so they don't have to struggle so much. Leave the 'so called' boomers alone. It's like bullies in the school playground being treated like this by the young. Grow a pair. Step up to the plate and make your own way in the world with pride instead of grizzling like babies.

every generation benefits from the one before- no.
our country is in huge debt that the young are going to have to pay off, living standards are dropping, and most young people will have to face the squeezed economy and restrictions on their rights and freedoms - that boomers voted for.
and ...climate change.

as for the brexitteer with the six bed house in france

But house prices in London or cities is not house prices in the countryside.
The house we bought for 36,000 in a Scottish village in 1983 is now worth 90,000. The house we bought for 119,000 in 2003 is now worth 158,000 in a Scottish county town. Thanks Zoopla.

A big increase but not going to make anyone a millionaire.

People down south got lucky - if they bought at the right time. Don't assume London is the whole country.

Step up to the plate and make your own way in the world with pride instead of grizzling like babies.

OK boomer

Grow a pair. Step up to the plate and make your own way in the world with pride instead of grizzling like babies.

Classic boomer speak!! The younger generations have very much stepped up to the plate, that's the issue...