To consider if sibling names "match"

[CassandraBarrett]

I commented on a baby name that I had heard to my DH. Not in a negative way, I liked the name.
I said "X's new baby is called Ethan. I like it. The older children are Lucy and Roberta*. I think Roberta doesn't really match the other two" (not real names)

DH said I'm the only person in the world that thinks that way and what does it matter if names match anyway. I disagree. I think a lot of people consider if there children's names match.

Eg Alex, Stephen, Bobby - yes.
Apollo, Chase and Stephen - no

So YABU nobody notices if names match
YANBU people think about it

I am not sure I would use 'match' but yes, certainly, it does seem odd that you would choose names from very different naming styles, so classic and hippy names in one family.

I find it odd to see all names with same initial letter. To me it is like kids being dressed in same clothes.

But also, each to their own, I wouldn't ever call my child Summer/Skye/Willow but others choose to and it adds to the variety of life.

Whysosensitive, is one King-Charles and the surname Spaniel?

@5adayincludeswine poor Jerry! 😂

@Zilla1

Whysosensitive, is one King-Charles and the surname Spaniel?

Ahhahhahahaa I’m crying! I’m gonna put that forward for if they have another!

I had one dd, then had twin girls. We didn't know what they were going to be (years ago, scans weren't as exact as today). We had 2 boys names, 1 girls name, but not 2 girls names.
I had a cesarean and coming round from the op I heard the midwife ask what they were to be called. Ex dh said to wait until I'd come round (wise man) so they were known as twin 1 and twin 2 for a while.
Later I said I'd have to look at them first and they tried to turn me over to look at them, as they were in an incubator behind me. Bloody hell that hurt so much I told them to stop and made my decision there and then without looking at them! First one born was called the names we'd picked, second one was called names that'll do. She's often referred to as * that'll do, she thinks it's funny. Both names go well together, more by luck than judgement.

Sometimes one child's name does stand out and it can cause that child to feel left out, especially if there are cultural factors at play.

A relative of mine is one of 5 children - 4 have very Welsh names and the 5th has a non Welsh name - think Esyllt, Siôr, Euryn, Rhisiart and Malcolm. They grew up in a very Welsh speaking area and received comments about Malcolm's name being so different to the rest including the old 'fathered by the milkman' jokes. Malcolm wished he had a Welsh name like his siblings.

I think it's worth bearing in mind if you plan to give children vastly different names, especially for DC3 and beyond if two or more siblings have names which are similar, that the sibling whose name stands out may feel left out.

Other that that I would just avoid obvious clashes e.g. Sam and Ella, Romeo and Juliet, or different versions of the same name e.g. Henry and Harry.

I think it's more obvious if there are 3+ kids and one is a very different name. I wouldn't really notice if it was just 2 and they had different types of names, especially if opposite sex.

My friend has 2 kids - one boy with a very common and traditional short 3 letter name and a girl with a slightly unusual, frilly long girly type name. Their names sound to me like they totally go together as I'm so used to it.

My DS has a slightly alternative, surname type name. I'm currently pregnant (different Dad) and this baby is likely to have a much more traditional name (haven't chosen yet but have a long list). I hope nobody thinks the names sound weird together!

The postal name and address drama is real. DP is the eldest of 3 brothers and is the only one who doesn't share a first initial with their dad. He's Mr N TheirSurname and FiL and BOTH BiLs are all Mr G TheirSurname (changed for privacy). So you'd think you could use middle initials on the post to distinguish since there are 3 Mr G TheirSurnames at that address at present...Wrong!

It gets worse. Youngest BiL actually shares a first name with FiL - so they're both George TheirSurname. Luckily they don't have the same middle initial ... but all the sons have the same middle name - so what with both BiLs having the same first initial , there are two G. A. TheirSurnames. Littlest BiL is shafted either way unless you always address his post to George A TheirSurname, his dads to George F TheirSurname and other BiLs to Gregory or Gregory A TheirSurname. We try to avoid George Jr. He gets Little George or Georgie (real name equivalents) informally.

DP was 12 when littlest BiL was born and did point this potential nightmare out to his dad... AFTER they'd registered the baby.

I have refused to countenance names that start with the same letters as our own to avoid this. Would also try to avoid replicating or part replicating his DSis initials and her new baby Dds initials if we had a Dd since they are both Miss TheirSurname too. After the George fiasco it just seems more sensible...

@MrsToothyBitch, at one point about twenty five years ago, four male people with exactly the same first, middle and surnames lived in the house I grew up in. My baby brother, our dad, our grandad, and our great-uncle, with an age gap of seventy five years between the eldest and the youngest.

I feel sure that at some point my little brother probably opened something crucial like a pension book and threw it away, having thought it was a birthday card or something...

@Muckish- Yep, that's exactly the problem they have! DPs family just seem to be really keen name recyclers and the George post fiasco and examples like yours are precisely why I think you need to be quite careful. My mum & aunt grew up in a family with "too many Helens and Charlottes" so they were both quite careful when naming their DC. DM hated the sameiness and refused to saddle me with DFs DMs name, even in short form, although I do have the diminutive as my second middle name since it's rarely used. I just feel new people deserve their own identities. So reuse yes- but sparingly and considerately.

DP likes his late paternal grandads name and would like to use as a middle name only for this reason. This name is already FiLs middle name as well so we would just take care not to exactly replicate the initials. I also wouldn't reuse it on multiple sons the way the PiLs did, especially if I repeated a first name first letter. DP & BiLs have FiLs DGF name as their shared middle name and sentimental or not, I think one name check was enough.

I would put my foot down at the feminised version of the name, though. I don't like it and it is attached to someone I have strong negative feelings towards and would be an odd choice- not v popular now. That said, I like the feminine version of my DFs name - also the name of a late someone else special to me from childhood which is the real reason I would use it - and would love to put that in somewhere as a middle name. I think we could get away with it although it would still be a little different- but less so than DPs DGF female equivalent.

[quote Nicknamegoeshere]@StCharlotte Agree with the postal pov. When my OH and I marry next year my daughter and I will both be Miss Initial Double-barrel (so identical except for first initial).[/quote]
As is every parent who has the same surname as their child .

@SunshineCake No because our first name begins with a different letter.

And we are both Miss (retaining title).

Years ago I had to deal with an enquiry about a paediatrics appointment where the father didn't know which child the appointment for Miss A Name belonged to as all three Miss A Names were under the paediatrics team with different issues. It took a surprising amount of rummaging through an antiquated DOS database to unravel. We then invented a middle initial for each child so the family could tell the difference next time.

Some name combinations can be incongruous where styles are starkly different.
Some name combinations can be too matchy. I had school friends who were twins. Being given matching initials was pretty common then, but not only did the twins have 4 letter J names, but their parents also had 3-4 letter J names and the whole effect was try-hard across the family.

Siblings often do have overlapping circles especially if they are close in age. It does matter in the first 18 years or so. Family will always know them.
It's not something that many people will lose sleep over, but they do notice.

I realised when DS1 got toddling, that the best way to test a child's name/ sibling combination is to yell it across the park.

My two go in that they have traditional names of the same era. They also have a middle name from DH's culture. DS1 has an extra family name as I didn't want to rely on having a male sibling. DS2's names are longer so the name combinations are similar in length in total.

*I realised when DS1 got toddling, that the best way to test a child's name/ sibling combination is to yell it across the park. grin

My two go in that they have traditional names of the same era. They also have a middle name from DH's culture.*
You shout your children's middle names across the park, and that is how you know they go well together?

The 'shouting in a park' is a standard concept - a try out, out loud of how a name seems when you're really using it at volume in public. Or in this case the combination of one name after another.

I doubt people would really do it (because you'd feel such a twerp) but they might just really think about it

First names, that is. No need to yell the middle names unless you are planning use them as part of the day to day, what you really call (in both senses) them

YANBU - it doesn’t matter what other people think at all but it does matter what the dcs may think.
Eg I have a friend whose siblings had really lovely names (objectively generally liked and well thought of names). She was given what she (and many I suspect) considers to be a dull very ‘plain’ name. She used to wonder why she too had not been given a ‘lovely’ name.
Similar thoughts might arise in the child of eg there is a noticeable difference eg siblings with classic names and suddenly up pops a ‘whacky / try hard yooonique’ type name. Or very religion/culture linked names with one very much not etc.

I’d only pay attention when naming to the effect on the names children themselves and how they may feel about their parent/s/‘s/s’ décision.

YANBU

Imagine having a child called Chardonnay-Gracie-may-star
And another child called Laura.

Or a child called Moonunit and a child called Paul.

That being said, my kids names don't match. One is an old mans name and one is more modern (but not whacky).
However, I met someone who had dogs with those names.
And there was recently twins with my kids names.
So perhaps not that weird as a match.

Mine all match. Old fashioned and unusual. Their middle names are more of a mix up. It bugs me if names don't match too.

I do love the name Roberta now you mention it and would go great with my other names.....maybe I need a pet lol

Damn I'm actually gutted I didn't use it!

I know what you mean, OP. It doesn't bother me in the slightest what people name their children but I do sometimes wonder why they've chosen the names they have. For example at DD's school, there are siblings called Elizabeth, Charles and Jayden - to me, Jayden is very different from the other 2. But hey, their children, their choice! My children's names are both Hebrew in origin, but one's quite common, the other rarely used in this country, so maybe they don't "go" either?

The shouting them together across the park is surely only an issue but the are fairly close in age & it's unlikely to occur regularly if you have a 12 year age gap!

Arrgggg if they are fairly close in age not but the. My phone hates me.

Mine match. Have to surely? All else is chaos.

I wanted mine to be similar, therefore lots of names were ruled out for DC2 as they didn't go. The names I have although not similar in origin are modern classics and I've met quite a few siblings with the same combination.

The ‘calling it across the park’ think just makes me think of FENTON!