To consider if sibling names "match"

[CassandraBarrett]

I commented on a baby name that I had heard to my DH. Not in a negative way, I liked the name.
I said "X's new baby is called Ethan. I like it. The older children are Lucy and Roberta*. I think Roberta doesn't really match the other two" (not real names)

DH said I'm the only person in the world that thinks that way and what does it matter if names match anyway. I disagree. I think a lot of people consider if there children's names match.

Eg Alex, Stephen, Bobby - yes.
Apollo, Chase and Stephen - no

So YABU nobody notices if names match
YANBU people think about it

I like sibling names to have certain things in common without being too alike. I like them to be:

about the same length

all shortenable or none shortenable (but I broke that rule myself)

about the same degree usual or unusual

about the same kind of "feel" (but I recognise that people may have different perceptions of "feel") e.g. I wouldn't use an old-fashioned name that is often described as posh with a trendy, surnamey name or a hippy nature name

definitely not begin with the same letter (or with the same letter as either of the parents)

But presumably anyone who really likes any two names is going to see a similarity between them, just because they like them both so much. For instance one of you might say that Peter and Matthew have a similar "feel" to you, because they're both New Testament and about the same length. I don't get the same vibe off them because I just don't like Peter very much, for reasons that predate me taking any interest in names and their meanings.

I know two brothers called James and Chad.

I discussed this on a thread recently. I strongly think children's names should be similar in nature.

Before I changed my name it was Starlight

My elder siblings had very normal 1970s names along the lines of Tracy, Angela, James, John, Andrew etc

I stuck out like a sore thumb. At least if my siblings had also had wacky names I'd have fitted in somewhere

@drumst1ck

We are trying to chose a name for DC2. The one we like starts with the same letter as DC1. I'm now worried people are going to think it's too matchy matchy...

I know a DC2 who's name was literally a pin in the P page of the baby name book so he would have the same initial as DC1.

DS is at daycare with twin girls called Rose and Alaia. Both beautiful names, but they don't go.

FIL is on his third wife and has a toddler with her, and his name doesn't go with the other kids at all. Also, awkwardly, they talk about how his name means "brave love" because their love overcame so many obstacles...the obstacles being FILs existing wife and family .

I'm confused by the PPs saying it doesn't matter because siblings won't always be in a 'group' together.

Surely most siblings are always grouped together to some extent? Like my parents will introduce people to their two daughters milkshake and milkshake's dsis...

And most people meet their friend's siblings at some point, don't they? I know me and dsis share some friends who refer to us as together (as in, are milkshake and x coming tonight?).

Or are my expectations of adult sibling relationships completely off?

I'm not sure how "how much thought" really matters. It took us less than 10 seconds to decide DS name but after months of debate we never settled on a girls name. So almost no thought at all equals a name we both loved, hours of pouring over lists, vetoing each others choices and tearing hair out meant we would probably have eventually settled on something we both thought was OK but didn't love or one of us would have backed down and gone with the other ones favourite.
It doesn't need more thought to love an unusual name that it does to love a popular one.

The number of people who know me and know all the rest of my siblings is probably limited to my siblings

This might be important for a little while to some weird people but it's not gonna have any impact on anyone's life

Milkshake I think it depends on a lot of factors - my sibling and I had a small cross over of social circles as young-ish adults but we have both moved away from our home town and now live about 150 miles away so any one I have meet on the last 20 years probably only met Dbro if they came to my wedding. My name gets used far more with DHs, DS's, close friends and colleagues and I don't choose any of the above based on whether their names "go" with mine (which is totally subjective anyway). My Dad is one of 6 none of them live in the same county (and two are in a different country). As a child I only ever heard their names as a set because because DGranny called all six of them by all six names in a string.

Of course sibling names should match. I cannot believe that your DH genuinely thought nobody thinks this way.
I know twin boys Harry & Mason. Ridiculous

@SendHelp30

Of course sibling names should match. I cannot believe that your DH genuinely thought nobody thinks this way. I know twin boys Harry & Mason. Ridiculous

Thinking about it, all my kids match - they have the same family name. Sorted.

I agree- I like it more when names match, it goes better. Nothing too twee, but I wouldn’t put Kevin with Theodore for example.

DS has a classic old name, if we have any more DC I’ll be sticking with that theme - think John, William type name.

My eldest two have unusual names so I didn't want the third to have a popular top 20 type name (instead she got bottom 3 for her year).

I like names that go well together.

Some relatives of mine gave all their many sons very standard 60s/70s names, of the Mark, Kevin etc vibe. Then the family moved to the middle east for the father's work and their youngest child and only daughter was born there. She is freckly and fair-haired, and she has a beautiful Arabic name - let's say Noor.

But I get what you mean about non-matching names, it's like having sisters named Vera and Lauren. They're just two totally different naming trends.

Names should sound alright when said together because you'll do that A LOT

I spoke they shouldn't be too mismatched. Super short with super long. Super modern with super old fashioned.

I knew a family that everyone started with LEO. 5 girls!!!! And their father has 2 brothers. All LEO-something. Some names are traditional others are very uncommon!!

The more I read what people think are ridiculous pairings, the more perplexed I am that people give even a tiny shite.

Rose & Alaia is pretty. Harry & Mason is fine. Totally get why Starlight would change her name when her brother is Richard and her sister is Tracy, but Starlight isn't a name in it's own right, it is a word.

@Crunchymum

Similarly having say River, Meadow, Bhodi and Jane would just be odd too!

I think those names go really well together. even Jane which, it all feels very yellow and sunshiny

@HitthatroadJack my sisters DC surnames don’t match as her eldests dad died. But their first name are all similar. Think Lily, Rosie, Daisy.

I just personally feel Mason & Roman / Harry & Jack etc would be better pairings.
But then, I have a lot of time on my hands to consider such mundane things.

There was a recent thread where OP wanted opinions on her twin boys names- Rufus & Jaxon. None of the reply’s agreed these names went very well together.

I think the desire for a "matching set" of children's names is about parental vanity.

People have commented that my children's names go nicely together. Their names are both 5 letters and 2 syllabus, so I think they just mirror each other nicely. We didn't plan it that way.

Dsis has 3 names which go nicely and 1 which doesn't.

I’ve never really considered it

Wouldn't want rhyming names or allierative names, especially with more than two children where it would look very contrived. But it just seems sensible to choose the same sort of names - not Edith, Maria and Sky, or Richard, Michael and Jaxxon, for instance. We gave our first child three first names in order to break up what would otherwise have been too much assonance, and then deliberately gave the second child three names so that they would be even. (My mother was the middle child of three and the only one without a middle name, so always felt cheated!)

*alliterative