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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what's the rudest thing a stranger has done to you?

704 replies

YoungScrappyHungry · 08/12/2020 14:48

Inspired by the lovely thread about kindest thing strangers have done for you, and also a chance for me to share this horror.

When I was 19, I worked on the tills at a supermarket in my holidays from university.

A woman I was serving was staring at me, trying to get my attention as I scanned her stuff. I looked up at her and smiled. She said, in still the most condescending tone I've ever heard:

'Don't you wish you'd studied now?'

I was so floored and ashamed, I didn't say a thing back and just carried on scanning her things. Fact was I was actually at university, but even if I hadn't been....aghh!....still gets me.

What are yours?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 08/12/2020 18:43

Someone staring at DS and asking Ng in horror what was wrong with his face. I ran round to look but it was just him, O2 tubes and tapes and adorable face.

Another time a woman walked past, then turned around and came back just to ask "what's ^wrojg^ with him?

People have always asked, sometimes it's intrusive or a bit rude, but these were over the line

MrsGrindah · 08/12/2020 18:45

@recycledtoiletroll Sorry but that did make me smile , conjuring up images of the rock band...

WhySoSensitive · 08/12/2020 18:45

We used to call our dog ‘baygo’ because she was as fat as butter (wide like a Winnebago)
I was outside a shop and told her to sit using her name and another person waiting outside went ‘if you call your dog baygo I hope you never have children, poor sods stuck with you naming them’

So odd. I was gobsmacked and confused and shocked all in one!

SleepingStandingUp · 08/12/2020 18:45

@elfycat

I was 23 (early 90s) and had just finished taking a nurse exam and my colleagues and I went to the local pub for a celebratory diet cola. Small pub in the middle of a hospital complex which grew up around it over the years.

Standing at the bar chatting with my friends I felt someone touching my bottom. I initially thought it was one of my male friends pratting about and was going to give them a firm backhanded slap and tell them sternly not to try that again. Only as I turned I realised I didn't recognise the man sat on the bar stool biting my arse.

When I hit him it was somewhat harder that I'd planned (automatic reflex to being assaulted rather than a planned punch) and he, the stool, and his pint went over. I'd knocked him out and had to quickly put him in the recovery position. His friends came down and started apologising; they'd dared him to do it - bunch of pillocks medical students who were very lucky I didn't put in a complaint.

There's a second one, also involving my butt. 2000s now and on the Jubilee Lin in London. Standing room only. Felt someone cupping my bottom and squeezing gently ewww. I'd read something in a magazine and dared myself to do it. I counted to three, reached behind grabbing the wrist across the bones tightly. Raised the hand up and very, very loudly said 'Has anyone lost a hand? I found this one wandering lost on my arse.'

Never did turn to look at him, but worked out who he was at the next stop when everyone else in the carriage watched him get off. Funny coincidence that the next stop was his.

Do you have a particularly luscious arse @Elfycat?
heidipi · 08/12/2020 18:46

The "aww, why did you leave it so long?" comments when I had my first DD at 41. This included a midwife on the postnatal ward, a previously close so-called friend who said she "just didn't agree with it", and another friend's mum who followed up with "tut, poor kiddie".

Tossers.

MrsHugsxx · 08/12/2020 18:46

I have a funny story of a random stranger made to look a twat.
I was pushing my son in his buggy and a young child with red hair was skipping ahead of me while his dad was walking a few steps behind me. A woman aged about 65 was walking towards me, stopped me and said " You have dark hair, his dad has dark hair, your son in the pram has dark hair, so where did you get a ginger child from? Hmmm. Do they have different fathers?" and gave me a patronising look.
I didn't know what the hell she was talking about till I realised she meant the random kid and his dad walking near me.
I just said something like " oh that's not my child, I'm not with them" and her flabbergasted face was a picture.

Florial · 08/12/2020 18:46

I was 17, just started my first job at a travel agency.
The supervisor was a queen bee type and asked me what size uniform I needed. I replied I was size 12, to which she said "Isn't that just wishful thinking?"
(I was size 12, and looking at photos from then I can now see that she was just a jealous bitch). But remarks like that from her affected my confidence in work long after leaving that job.

NuniaBeeswax · 08/12/2020 18:48

"All the people saying how customers were rude saying you will end up like this if you dont study. They then gleefully point out they were studying. You really are agreeing with the rude people. You are quick to point out you are more than just bar staff or shop workers, so you are just as rude. Its no come back or challenge to the ingrained snobbish in the remark."All the people saying how customers were rude saying you will end up like this if you dont study. They then gleefully point out they were studying. You really are agreeing with the rude people. You are quick to point out you are more than just bar staff or shop workers, so you are just as rude. Its no come back or challenge to the ingrained snobbish in the remark.All the people saying how customers were rude saying you will end up like this if you dont study. They then gleefully point out they were studying. You really are agreeing with the rude people. You are quick to point out you are more than just bar staff or shop workers, so you are just as rude. Its no come back or challenge to the ingrained snobbish in the remark"

Unfortunately employers tend to look quite dimly on people telling customers to fuck off, no matter how rude they are, so politely pointing out that working in a shop =/= illiterate thicko who didn't go to school is probably the next best thing.

NuniaBeeswax · 08/12/2020 18:49

Dunno how I managed to quote that three times. Maybe it's because I'm an illiterate thicko!

Smudge77 · 08/12/2020 18:53

About 7 months pregnant with my second, and walking with my mum a guy walked passed me and said "she got pregnant", bloody cheek, both mum and I wanted to respond but chose just to ignore him. He had the problem mumbling his nonsense. Some of these are just awful. I'm a redhead too and have had thing shouted at me about "collars and cuffs matching" but I just don't respond.

StormyInTheNorth · 08/12/2020 18:53

@FridayNightAtTheBronze I have a cleft. It gets easier, people can be cruel, but it is a minority especially now compared to 30 years ago. I have managed to find DH who is gorgeous and have DD who is equally beautiful.
The woman walked away because she was a coward. I usually answer when someone asks (which isn't often) "Nothing, I am not sure what you mean. Please can you clarify." They soon move on.

To add to the thread. Many many things and I don't want to trigger, but I did find. "Are you the childminder or the auntie?" When DD was a toddler. When told I was her mother, the person said, "Oh, I didn't think people like you had partners or children."

BuiltForComfortNotForSpeed · 08/12/2020 18:54

Back in the early 90s, when I was younger very shy and lived in jeans and baggy t shirts, I was walking through the city centre in broad daylight. It wasn't too busy or crowded but a man was walking straight towards me. I went left and right a few times trying to avoid him but he dodged back and forth contriving to walk straight into me with his hand between us grabbing my breast. He walked off like nothing happened while I stood stunned and everyone just walked past like they'd not noticed, which most probably hadn't. I'm still annoyed with myself for not kneeing him in the 'nads.

SleepingStandingUp · 08/12/2020 18:56

I used to do online dating.

A guy randomly messaged me to tell me a looked like a whale, was disgusting etc. I hadn't initiated any contact with him so this wasn't even a reply to unwanted attention.

BurtonHouse · 08/12/2020 18:58

I was crossing a quiet residential road one very cold winter day and slipped on the ice and fell badly in the middle of the road. A car came up and the driver, who must have seen me fall, hooted his horn, wound down the window and shouted "Get out of the way you stupid bitch".

nancy75 · 08/12/2020 19:01

I let a van out (turning right across my lane of traffic) as they turned & were alongside my window the man opened his window looked at me with utter hatred & called me an ugly fat cunt, he then spat at my car.
Usually I’m pretty mouthy & give as good as I get but the way he said it, like he absolutely hated me was really upsetting.

SleepingStandingUp · 08/12/2020 19:01

@FridayNightAtTheBronze that's awful. We've had some rude comments because of DSs tubes but no one has lain a hand on n him . No wonder you were too shocked and angry to act

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 08/12/2020 19:02

@Carishina

I was browsing some clothes and was looking at a top. A random woman came up to me and said “you’ll never fit into that, you’re far too fat”.
Me and my friend were at a clothes swapping thing in a pub, friend and a random were both looking at a top and the random came out with 'but that's a size ten.' Unfortunately rude random hadn't clocked my friend was with a crowd so we, er, managed to take the sting out of it...
FightingWithTheWind · 08/12/2020 19:03

My daughters and I are ginger, when my eldest was born I had a middle age woman look at her in the pram and say: "oh dear, well at least you can dye it" followed by "I think i'd drown it if I had a ginger child". I was so shocked that I hardly reacted and I still feel sick that I didn't today. It certainly wasn't the only negative comment we've had, we've even had idiots throw something from us out of a car whilst shouting 'gingers' but that comment was the one that affected me the most, probably because it was such a sickening thing to say about anyone let alone a 3 week old baby.

Tara336 · 08/12/2020 19:04

I was a passenger in a car stuck in traffic, I noticed we were close to a pedestrian crossing and said to my DP who was driving to be careful not to block it. I glanced up at the flashing pelican beacon (or whatever they are called) and then noticed a woman close to the car door, do whatever reason she suddenly went nuts at me and started banging on the window of the car claiming we were blocking the crossing (we weren’t we had stopped before it) I put the window down a bit and said “why are you shouting at me? Am i driving?” She said “no but you were going to block the crossing” (how she had decided that I don’t know) she then proceeded to stand in front of the car on the crossing and and jump up and down! DP sounded his horn at her and she moved back onto the pavement and walked off down the road! So she obviously didn’t even want to cross! Absolutely Batshit crazy!

Mochudubh · 08/12/2020 19:05

I was in Sainsbury's a couple of years ago, they had a sale rail quite near the entrance. I was browsing and held a dress up against myself in size "xy" which I thought would fit. A woman sidled up to me and said "I hope you don't mind me saying, but I used to be a seamstress and I think you'd be better with a size "xz". I was mortified but said "No, not at all, thanks for your honesty".

Thing was, she was right😯

MonkeyPuddle · 08/12/2020 19:06

Spat in my face and called me a ‘fucking dyke’ as we walked to the shop one afternoon.

Georgyporky · 08/12/2020 19:09

I asked a shop assistant to repeat something - twice - because I couldn't understand what she was saying as her accent was so bad.

She shouted at me "Are you deaf or stupid".

Georgyporky · 08/12/2020 19:10

posted too soon.
I replied "I'm deaf, you're stupid".
Luckily her manager overheard & I think she has been "let go".

waterjungle · 08/12/2020 19:11

Posh boyfriends family having a dinner party. We came home when they were having dessert. There were about six of them and one braying man asked what work I was doing. I answered that I was temping, mainly secretarial in university holidays.
He said "I'd like you sit on my lap and take dick" (I'm guessing he meant dictation). Entire dinner party of boyfriends posh Mummy and Daddy friends roared.
I was 17 and mortified. It wasn't the worst thing that has been said to me but I felt SO embarrassed.

Avondklok · 08/12/2020 19:12

Not me but a colleague was explaining that their unborn baby had been dx with a cleft palate and my other colleague piped up that they should "just get rid of that one and have another go." We stood there quite speechless. 😡