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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what's the rudest thing a stranger has done to you?

704 replies

YoungScrappyHungry · 08/12/2020 14:48

Inspired by the lovely thread about kindest thing strangers have done for you, and also a chance for me to share this horror.

When I was 19, I worked on the tills at a supermarket in my holidays from university.

A woman I was serving was staring at me, trying to get my attention as I scanned her stuff. I looked up at her and smiled. She said, in still the most condescending tone I've ever heard:

'Don't you wish you'd studied now?'

I was so floored and ashamed, I didn't say a thing back and just carried on scanning her things. Fact was I was actually at university, but even if I hadn't been....aghh!....still gets me.

What are yours?

OP posts:
DareDevil223 · 08/12/2020 21:50

@CorvusPurpureus I'm guessing the book was The Woman in Black by Susan Hill.

HollyCarrot · 08/12/2020 21:51

@HollyCarrot

Locked my face. It was a friend of a friend bit I really did not appreciate it
Licked Confused
HunterHearstHelmsley · 08/12/2020 21:53

@Hippopotas

I was in a Tesco when I was a teenager I had very bad psoriasis on my face a child said to their parent “what is wrong with that ladies face?” And the mother said “I don’t know but keep away from her so yo7 d9nt catch it”

I ran away and cried

My DM has universal psoriasis and this makes me so angry. She gets so upset by the comments. She had a what's wrong with your face once when I was with her. I was raging. I said "there'll be something wrong with your face when I punt you down those fucking stairs"
CorvusPurpureus · 08/12/2020 21:54

[quote DareDevil223]@CorvusPurpureus I'm guessing the book was The Woman in Black by Susan Hill.[/quote]
I could not POSSIBLY comment Wink

DressingGown · 08/12/2020 21:58

I was stood waiting to cross the road and a man who had cycled past stopped and waddled backwards on his bike to say to me, “you look very pale, you should eat less sugar,” before pedalling off. The

HollyCarrot · 08/12/2020 21:59

Skin conditions are totally up for public commentary sadly. And you're supposed to stand there and explain/educate. It's great craic altogether.

Audreyseyebrows · 08/12/2020 22:10

A boy shouted at me ‘it’s not fancy dress you know’ on holiday. I was dressed up and felt good.

A few years later a midwife was vile to me. The other midwives apologised and said that she thought I was younger! I was 23 but it shouldn’t matter how old I was.

Another few years on. Asked if I thought that me working had caused my child’s asd.

Audreyseyebrows · 08/12/2020 22:11

Oh and I also had the rude comments when working in a shop. I was at university and had 3dc. It was a (very useful) stepping stone.

Funkypolar · 08/12/2020 22:16

Someone on Mumsnet objected to something I had posted in reply to their post. I was perfectly polite to them.

They then searched my posts and found out I was pregnant and posted a reply to one of my pregnancy posts about work saying “I don’t know if it’s your personality or hormones but hopefully you’ll be less of a bitch when your baby is born. I bet your colleagues are praying you don’t return after mat leave.”

MrsLebowski · 08/12/2020 22:18

I once went into.a shop with my baby in a sling and got a long lecture on how dangerous baby slings are from the shopkeeper, apparently you could fall on the baby. Nice.

MoonPomme · 08/12/2020 22:20

Someone on here told me my son will grow up to be a rapist.
And something about a little finger.
No idea what that thread was about now.
Possibly in fwr.

sneakysnoopysniper · 08/12/2020 22:23

I had just finished my Ph.d and secured a job in a university. I had a PT job in a call center on inbound sales and was doing my last shift on New Years Day. I was wishing everyone Happy New Year and customers were surprised to talk to a real person on NYD. One bright spark said to me "Fancy having to work New Years. If you got yourself some qualifications you could get a proper job." I told him "As a matter of fact Ive just finished my doctorate and Im starting as a lecturer at XX university in 2 weeks time. So Im afraid there arn't any higher qualifications for me to get." I bet he felt like a right dick.

Berlioz23 · 08/12/2020 22:23

A couple was walking past in the opposite direction. The man grasped my bust and the woman slapped my bum, my mum was walking about 50m behind me trying to catch me up after seeing me come out of a shop when I was due to meet her, so saw it all. Let’s just say I don’t think the couple will ever do that again 😂😳

Funkypolar · 08/12/2020 22:24

A few years ago I broke a bone in my foot and was recovering but still used a crutch. Travelling on the Tube, a woman and her teenage daughters were staring at me and whispering. Didn’t offer me a seat, just stared and whispered. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wendyhause · 08/12/2020 22:26

In my late twenties so not a young lassie but out strolling and pushing my new baby's pram. An old bat lady stopped and took a look in at the baby then turned to me and asked "is there a father?" !!!!!!
If I had my wits about me at the time I would have said no it was an immaculate conception!

I just smiled and walked on but couldn't believe the cheek of her.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 08/12/2020 22:27

I’m sure it was meant kindly, but I was browsing in Boots, and a sales assistant from a different counter came over, completely unprompted, and said she had noticed my bad skin, and I should try this on it. This turned out to be Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream, which is basically posh Vaseline, and definitely not for acne.

The worst part was that my skin was a million times better than it had been previously. It properly, properly knocked my confidence.

digthroughtheditches · 08/12/2020 22:27

In hospital with my first born, she had issues when she was born and had to have some awful tests, hospital had a no partners staying over policy, I was struggling to feed my baby and in agony from emcs.
My then husband was having an affair, not that I knew it yet, but I knew something was off.
I broke down one morning crying and a nurse stopped and asked what was wrong, I said I just wanted my mum. She said 'why ever would you want your mum, you should be asking for your husband'
It's not that awful, but at the time I was so low, I literally felt like a little child.

Sunbird24 · 08/12/2020 22:28

When I was about 8 or 9, walking along the local high street holding hands with my mum, some random man shouted at us that we were a pair of lezzers. Would have been bloody obvious what the relationship between us was, given that my mum is 30 years older than me

Unescorted · 08/12/2020 22:31

@Gobbycop

Tried to stab me.
Oh my... I hope you got some justice. x
fibeee · 08/12/2020 22:33

As I was walking home from work one evening a guy walked up to me in the street with his friend and asked how much I charged. They then walked off laughing.

I was so shocked and taken aback.

mrsbyers · 08/12/2020 22:33

Indirectly to me

My dad has Parkinson’s and limited mobility , we had a little trip to Benidorm for a weekend a couple of years ago and he used assisted access for the plane which involved someone wheeling him into the lift in departure lounge and across to plane then he had to stand and step up onto a platform which raised him (sitting) to the aircraft door. My husband and I were with the rest of the passengers in a long queue when they brought dad past and into the lift - a couple of women in front asked if they could go in lift (and jump queue) and were given very short shrift by the security staff. Out of the window I saw my dad approach the little platform and start to get to his feet then take one step forward to sit on the platform - at this the absolute skank in front of me says loudly ‘I l we he was fucking faking it , there’s fuck all wrong with him he can stand up’ my husband gripped my arm as he knew I would be furious but too late I let rip at her and she changed her tune very quickly - still makes me so angry to this day

JaceLancs · 08/12/2020 22:34

At my heaviest after 2 DC I was around 18 stone - regularly got fat shamed - even now at a size 12 (still want to lose a bit more) I don’t eat anything unhealthy in public -

2020in2020 · 08/12/2020 22:34

funkypolar someone did that to me as well, I respectfully disagreed with her on a post about banking security. She followed me to my thread in Relationships accusing me of having an affair and it was clearly my fault my husband was a borderline alcoholic!

HollyCarrot · 08/12/2020 22:35

@sneakysnoopysniper

I had just finished my Ph.d and secured a job in a university. I had a PT job in a call center on inbound sales and was doing my last shift on New Years Day. I was wishing everyone Happy New Year and customers were surprised to talk to a real person on NYD. One bright spark said to me "Fancy having to work New Years. If you got yourself some qualifications you could get a proper job." I told him "As a matter of fact Ive just finished my doctorate and Im starting as a lecturer at XX university in 2 weeks time. So Im afraid there arn't any higher qualifications for me to get." I bet he felt like a right dick.
I got something similar, I was only an undergraduate mind, but was working in a supermarket and got some sick over enunciating at me as if there was something wrong with me. I told him in no uncertain terms I was paying for college and the (massive) prick shut up very quickly. I've reflected on the incident since and realised that nobody should have to put up with any sort of commentary when they're doing their job, I remember be enraged at the time though. But it very much instilled a respect for people in the service industry.
sneakysnoopysniper · 08/12/2020 22:40

I was a plain kid and my younger sister was exceptionally pretty. One day when we were travelling by bus another passenger said to my mother "What a pity ones plain and the other so pretty."

I went in tears to my grandmother and told her it didnt seem fair that my sister was pretty while was ugly. My grandmother, who always told it like it was, told me I was not ugly, but I was plain. She went on to explain that plain means ordinary, not ugly. When she was a girl make up was not considered respectable. However by the 1950s a plain girl could make the best of themselves with the right clothes hair style and make up.

She went on to say that great actresses like Bette Davis and Barbara Stanwyck were really quite plain without all their props. She added "They are not really beautiful at all. The just have the power to make you think they are!"

My grandmother was a very wise woman.